Haunted
by RowenaR
Summary: KotOR2: The Exile's having difficulties with coming to terms with everything from the second visit on Dantooine on and comes to a dramatic decision. So how's that thing with Atton gonna work out? And how are the others coping? Finally ch. 16 added.
1. Chapter One: Tears and Rain

Yay, back again with a Star Wars story. Errr, alright, first things first: 

**Author: **Yeah, right, me again. Should be working on "Minor Characters", though :ducks from all the sharp and heavy objects her beta-reader keeps throwing at her:**  
Summary: **The Exile's having difficulties with coming to terms with everything from the second visit on Dantooine and comes to a dramatic decision. So how's that thing with Atton gonna work out? And how are the others coping?**  
Category:** Angst/Romance **  
Rating:** T, just to be on the safe side**  
Disclaimer:** All canon characters from the game aren't mine (though I'd like to claim the Exile as mine, 'cause really, I played that girl, she's got my handwriting all over her :p), and James Blunt's songs aren'tt mine either. Plus I got a flat to provide furniture with and just getting started on my first real job so... don't sue me. You already have more money than I'll ever make :p**  
A/N:**Well, here we go with another Star Wars story of mine, although I don't think it will be as epic as the last one. Please try to overlook all the little mistakes concerning the game I made (or helpme correct them... I'd be even more delighted about _that_), as I used to play it in the middle of the night and am not the most attentive of persons at that time of night.

Oh, and I still haven't quite finished it because I'm too scared of fighting my way through all those hords of Sith warriors and Dark Jedi. Now, how stupid is that:p

Anyway, just one last thing I always have at the end of my **A/N**: I'm not a native speaker, my laptop's keyboard seems to have a life of its own sometimes and I usually write my fiction in the middle of the night, so please don't be too offended when noticing typos or strange grammatical constructions. I may have been reading, writing and speaking English for over ten years now, but I'm still far from doing it like a native speaker. Please take this in account.

**Haunted**

**Chapter One: Tears and Rain**

_"I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,  
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.  
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.  
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.  
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain."_

_James Blunt, "Tears and Rain"_

_

* * *

_

_Citadel Station, Officers' Mess_

She knew she should tell them. Tell _him_. But not now. Just not now. It just would ruin the party for them, and that would ruin the party for her as well and she had the feeling that all of them had deserved a good party after the last months of fighting and suffering. No, now was a time for celebrating her victory – _their_ victory – over Darth Nihlus, Darth Sion, Darth Traya… and whoever had been chasing them through half the galaxy. Admiral Onasi was holding a party to their honor and they would enjoy it.

Straightening herself for a last time she walked into the officers' mess on board Citadel Station and put on what she thought her most charming smile. Onasi was the first to greet her, saying: "Ah, General Trekal, nice to see you again." The admiral was smiling, but she could feel the underlying sadness that seemed to accompany him like a second skin echo from him. Flexing her fingers she tried to shield herself from it and slightly enforced her smile a little and said: "The pleasure is all mine, admiral."

Before she could tell him that she would prefer it if he stopped calling her "general", someone else budged in: "Look who decided to join at last."

Atton. Of course. And just as always he was grinning and radiating cockiness and a self assurance off him. Clearing her throat she answered in a tone that she hoped sounded non-chalant: "Well, you know women… there's never something suiting the occasion hanging in our lockers." He barked a short laugh but from the short raising of his eyebrows she could tell that he had seen right through her little act of appearing like she had no other care in the world than the right dress. _Great_.

"Well, uh… now that you are here I think it's time for the official part.", Onasi said after clearing his throat.

She cocked an eyebrow. "Official part? You didn't mention…"

He just shrugged. "Well, you know how it is… no saving the galaxy without enduring the speeches and holo-interviews afterwards. You have the fun, you have to do the hard work." If this hadn't come from Onasi, the man that had saved the galaxy himself at least one time together with Revan, she would have felt seriously offended. But as it was she just sighed and agreed to follow him to the stage. She just hoped she didn't screw up that royally as she had on Dantooine in her pep-talk before the battle against the mercenaries.

When Onasi had silenced the small crowd gathered in the room, he began his own little speech: "Ladies and gentlebeings, today is a great day. The _Ebon Hawk_ has finally returned from her quest against the Sith, and with her came her outstanding crew. All of us owe them more than we could ever repay. Not only have they rid us of the latest thread that would have wreaked more havoc upon us than the Mandalorian War and the Jedi Civil War together but they have also secured as a full source. With that the Republic will be able to rebuild Telos and heal one of the most severe war wound this galaxy had ever to endure." The crowd was cheering and applauding, some only politely, such as those whom she knew to belong to the Exchange; others frenetically, such as the Ithorians or the soldiers and officials from Onderon and Dantooine.

She closed her eyes, trying to center herself and prepare herself for the speech that no doubt Onasi would announce now, as he was trying to calm down the people. "Please, ladies and gentlebeings, I'm sure you would like to hear the hero herself. And so I hereby present to you General Neeneá Tekal. General Tekal, we would be honored if you could say a few words."

Smiling a little and carefully dipping into the Force and thus drawing calmness from it, she stepped to the front and said: "Indeed… indeed it is us who feel very honored by the applause given here. We thank you very much for the warm welcome. But we feel… overwhelmed by your gratitude…" _Was that a "Well, it sure could have been a little more overwhelming on the credit side." from Atton?_, she thought a little disgruntled but opted to ignore it. "We did what we did because we felt that it was the only possible choice. I… am sure everyone… or at least most of us" – she threw a look in the direction of the representatives of the Exchange and Vogga – would have done the same if they… had been in our position." With that she nodded and stepped back. _Force, please let that be enough._

Onasi had obviously understood the signal and nodded towards her. "Thank you very much for your… encouraging words, General. And now I won't keep you any longer. Just enjoy the party while it lasts.", he said with a wink in her direction. She just nodded and stepped of the podium.

"Nice speech you did." She made a face at Atton's remark. "No really, Né, compared to that pep-talk you gave on Dantooine, that was a masterpiece of rhetorical virtuosity." All of this he delivered with a straight face which only broke when she snorted a little and hit him on the arm. "Ow! Hey, last time I checked you were on the _good_ side!"

She smirked. "And last time _I_ checked your jokes were a lot better.", she dead-panned which earned her one of those grins he seemed to have reserved only for her.

It was precisely in that moment that she suddenly knew she was going to break his heard. Very, _very_ hard. This epiphany had a greater impact on her than she could have ever foreseen, and that scared her to death. Before that it had only been a little light banter – well, apart from his shocking confession about being a Sith torturer, obviously – here and there, some pazaak, even some drinking, but always only the hint of deeper feelings.

Up to now she had never let herself explore more of this feelings, first because she had enough difficulties with finding out who she was and then because she had been finding out step by step who she was. And well, the stress of having to save the galaxy had added its share in this, too. But now, now that Kreia was out of her head and then galaxy _was _saved it all came down on her. How she missed Atton when she couldn't take him with her own missions, how she had found it so very easy to forgive him just because she couldn't see him suffer, how much his just grinning at her in this very special way affected her…

"Hey, Citadel Station to Né, everything all right?"

She jumped a little. "What?"

He looked a little concerned. "You zoned out on me. You okay? The old witch's not been talking to you, has she?"

She nodded, still a little distraught. "No… no, it wasn't her… I just… I need a little air, that's all. You know, me and speeches…" She gestured a little helplessly.

"Yeah, right, you and speeches…", he nodded, but on his face and in the slight changing of his Force aura she could see that he didn't believe one word she was saying. But obviously he got her hint as he was saying: "You… you want me to accompany me to a… quieter place?" The nervousness in him was getting stronger with every second she didn't answer, and although she knew that it would probably better to at least try to uphold her little act, she gave in. Just for once she wanted to use the opportunity of getting away from the non-existent privacy aboard the _Ebon Hawk_ and have a little quiet time with Atton for herself. _It maybe your last time, anyway._, a little spiteful voice said in the back of her mind but she chose to ignore it just for once.

"Yes, thank you. But let's try to be inconspicuous, I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings here." He nodded, turning for the exit.

_

* * *

_

_Observation Deck_

"Well…" He smiled a little nervously.

She smiled back, just as nervous. "Well… thanks for getting me out of the room. I felt a little… suffocated by all the people and the attention and… well, everything." She sat down on the floor in front of one of the windows.

After a moment of hesitation he joined her. "Yes, I noticed. Didn't even need to Force to do it. You've been… different, the whole evenin'."

She put her arms behind her and leant on them. His remark reminded her of one of the other conversations they had had. The one where he had commented on her change, saying she appeared much more at ease to him, with a "glow" like he had said. Well, or something very close to it, at least. "Well, I…"

"Something's bothering you. And… I'd like to know what." Good old Atton, always straight to the point. She had been wondering actually what had kept him so long from asking right out.

Closing her eyes she said: "I… I think I… I've not truly worked through all the things since our second visit to Dantooine. What the Masters told me, what Kreia did… and then everything on Malachor V…" After just one short tap in the Force she instantly regretted saying just _anything_ about all those things, and to Atton of all people. She had felt curiosity peaking up, and something else… worry? She squeezed her eyes a little tighter, trying to shield herself from him and his feelings because they would make everything so much harder. But it needed to be done. _For his sake_, she told herself, _everything for his sake. And some day he'll understand._ Or so she hoped.

"Well, what _did_ they tell you?" He could see the conflicting emotions playing over her face. For a Jedi, Né had always been very easy to read. Something was brewing inside her, and he didn't like it a bit. He remembered the screams piercing through the door to the women's dormitory after they had left Dantooine without Kreia. Every time he had come by the door and she had been inside, screaming, whimpering, he had to fight off the strong urge to just barge in and wake her from whatever was torturing her. He had desperately tried to uphold his trademark scoundrel's careless easygoing manner, pretending she was just a nice flirt to him, like very woman had been.

But that wasn't true. Not anymore. Maybe not even for quite some time now. Somehow she had gotten under his skin, and seeing her now in such a state of distress made him once again want to take her in his arms and protect her from all her inner demons.

But eventually she chose to talk, forcing him to concentrate on her words again. "They… it's… very complicated, and I still don't quite understand it myself." For some seconds she was quiet again, obviously trying to find a way to explain it to him. "They said… they said I am something of a _wound_ in the Force. That I… brought others to follow me, using their strenghts for me. You know, kinda sucking them in. They said I…" She broke her trail of speech, and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes. Obviously seeing the shock and confusion in his eyes, she quickly turned away.

"No, hey, look at me." He edged closer to her, touching her face softly with one hand. For a moment she tried to evade his touch, but then she leant into it, still having her eyes closed. "They said I would bring death upon the force because the sheer number of deaths at Telos and Malachor V and everywhere else I had brought them with the fleet had made me deaf to the Force and that I could only use it when bonds from others echoed inside me. Atton, basically I've been doing the same as Darth Nihilus. Feeding of others. Using their friendship and trust to strengthen myself."

That was her breaking point. All her barriers fell, and even he – with his untrained sensitivity towards the Force – could feel them shattering like transparisteel and all the bottled-up emotions breaking out. All the guilt and pain and remorse. He pulled her into the tightest hug he had ever given anyone, because in that moment it was the only thing that came to his mind. Whispering words of comfort and compassion to her he held her sobbing form, and she clung to him like he was a kind of lifeline.

But suddenly she recoiled, like she had been burned or something. "What the…"

She shook her head. "It's… you… you used the Force to calm me down."

"Hey, I didn't want to mess with your head or anything!", he told her, getting worked up a little.

She made a gesture meant to calm him down, but he registered her edging away a little further very clearly. "No, no, I never meant it like that. You were.. just reaching out to me, touching me, stroking and soothing me. Just not consciously, I think."

She had hoped he would calm down, but he just got more agitated. "Well, what's so wrong with it then? It wasn't like I wanted to hurt you or something."

Trying to focus and center herself she stood up and turned towards the window again. "I didn't think you did. It's just… that's what the Masters meant, what _Kreia_ meant. I bring other people to weaken themselves for me. You aren't properly trained and doing things like these only exhausts you, and I… I just don't want anyone I care for get hurt because of me. I don't want _anyone_ get hurt of me _ever_ again."

Beside her he was getting up again, but she could muster all her willpower not to run back to him but continue staring out of the window. "Well, you don't have to. And I wasn't getting hurt. I feel completely all right, nothing wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I would have stopped doing whatever I did, even if it wasn't done consciously. You know, survival instinct and scoundrel's luck and all that stuff."

She laughed humorlessly. "You don't get it, do you? What I did on Malachor V, back in the war, has crippled me forever. The echo of all those deaths will always be resounding in me, creating a kind of hole, a void. And everyone who's attached to me in just _any_ way will be sucked into the void. And because of that I can't…" She turned back to him, forcing herself to look into his eyes, to face the hurt, the feeling of betrayal, the broken heart. "I can't stay with you, _all_ of you. I'm a lost case, but no one of you is. All of you have the chance to become great Jedi, playing a significant role in the rebuilding of the Order. But I'll be the death of the Force if I chose to continue using it. Or continue forming bonds to other people. I…"

"You're going to run again, aren't you?", he simply stated, and her resolve almost crumpled. Only the thought of _He'll understand. Someday he_ will _understand._ kept her finishing the path she had started walking down. "No. I'm going to do what I must to protect you and Mira and Mical and everyone else from myself. I'm going to the Unknown Regions, searching for Revan. If there's anyone who can help fighting the remains of the Sith, then it's her. And if there's anyone expandable enough to go in search of her, then it's me."

For a moment there hung a silence between them that seemed almost unbearable. Then he said, in a very Atton-unlike quiet voice: "And who's going to protect _you_ from yourself?"

She nearly faltered at that, but again she remained impassive, at least outwardly. "I don't… need any protection. Not from me or from anything or anyone else. I can perfectly stand my ground. Besides… I'm not important enough to protect."

"Dammit, of course you are. You are important to _me_, and you are not expandable for _me_. Doesn't that mean _anything_ for you?" The anguish in his voice was tearing literal junks out of the walls she had erected around herself.

"It means…the world to me, Atton. And that's why I need to go away. Don't… make this any harder for me than this is anyway. Please, Atton, just understand. I need to go _because_ it means so much to me."

The pain on his face was replaced by utter confusion and desperation. "Look, girl, I really don't get it. You leave me because you care for me? Dammit, I've heard more sense from any bantha-breath backwater kid who challenged me for a round of pazaak."

She took a deep breath, again trying to center herself and draw strength from the Force for her final action. "Someday, Atton… someday you'll understand. I promise. Just… promise me one last thing." She turned for the door, walking towards it, leaving behind a stunned Atton. "Just promise me you'll tell Admiral Onasi that I'm gone looking for Revan. And promise not to tell the others until tomorrow."

Forcing herself to walk at a normal pace, she made her way out of the Observation Deck, not allowing herself to look back. She knew, that if she did she would be racing back into his arms, crying her eyes out and never letting him go. But as it was, all that was left to her were her tears, and – if she hadn't been in the controlled environment of a space station – a lot of rain which would have just been to fitting.


	2. Chapter Two: Now You've Gone

**Chapter Two: Now you've gone**

„_Sure we're glad for the experience,  
We miss you now you've gone.  
We're just swimming in your soul 'cause,  
We all wish we wrote this song.  
Life goes on."_

_James Blunt, „So long, Jimmy"_

* * *

Ebon Hawk_, Main Hold  
_

"And then he said… Atton?"

Mira's slightly bewildered voice floated through the room, but the addressed didn't react. He just continued staring at the star map in the center of the room and absentmindedly flipping a pazaak card in his left hand. Mira raised an eyebrow and walked over to the pilot. Visas, who had been accompanying the young bounty hunter remained behind. "What'cha doin' here, flyboy? Jedi-girl playing hard to get?"

Still no reaction, just staring and flipping. "Hey, I'm talkin' to you!"

Then, after some more staring and flipping he said very quietly and very Atton-unlike: "She's gone."

"Who… oh… gone? What d'you mean with "gone" exactly?"

"She is no longer here, Mira. On Citadel Station, I mean. And she has been absent for… quite some time."

Mira spun around to look at Visas. "You _knew_? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

The Miraluka Jedi turned away a little from her, as she was always a little irritated by Mira's often brash and forward behaviour. "I… was not quite sure. The bond I had felt between us, it was… muffled and… a little worn out somehow after our escape from Malachor V. I could feel she was there but not much more. And… I did not want to spoil your evening."

"Well, looks like someone beat you to it. At least with flyboy over there.", Mira retorted dryly, jerking her thump in Atton's direction. Visas didn't answer and instead went over to where Atton was sitting with the back to them, still brooding. Softly she put a hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little.

"Hey, stop sneaking up behind me. The old witch used to do that, and it creeps me out." He had turned around and gotten up from the booth. Both Mira and Visas were shocked and surprised at seeing his face. There were very clear traces that he had been crying. "What? Stop looking at me like I just spotted tentacles.", he huffed at them.

"There is no need to act uncourteous towards us, Atton.", Visas chastised softly, but before Atton could reply anything, Bao-Dur and Mandalore appeared in the doorway, carrying a pretty drunk Disciple between them. "Did anyone tell him it's not appropriate behavior for a Jedi to get drunk after only four glasses?", Mira commented as dryly as ever.

Bao-Dur chose to make an impassive face while Mandalore mumbled something like "Another remark like that and next time _you'll_ be the one playing his baby sitter." into his gray-red beard. _About time he takes off that thing._, had been the common thought at the moment Mandalore had been walking down the ramp in the Mandalorian ceremonial armor, but without the helmet. His only reply at the gaping round had been: "How do you suspect me to get drunk good and proper with my helmet on, huh?", and that had closed the mouths.

Now he and the Zabrak carried the passed out Disciple past the remaining crew and dropped him quite unceremoniously on one of the bunks in the males' dormitory. Then they returned to the common area as they both wanted to know what all the commotion from earlier was about.

"So… where's our fearless leader anyway?", Mandalore barged into the common area, and all heads were turned towards him.

After a shock second, Visas finally said: "She is not here anymore." As no one answered anything, Visas felt compelled to elaborate a little: "She left. Citadel Station. And most probably the Telos system at all. It seems that Atton also knew of this." With that she gestured over to him and all heads were turned to him.

He held up his hands in a defensive posture and said wearily: "Hey, what're you all lookin' at me? She just told me she… needed to work some things out on her own… and uh… that she was going to find Revan." He rubbed his neck and looked around as a heavy silence had filled the room. Then suddenly everyone seemed to be talking at once.

"She _what_?"

"That stupid Jedi…"

"I suppose she has good reasons for it, and we should trust her."

"Leaving her clan like that…"

Still shaken himself and in no mood to be able to abide those ramblings, he hold up a hand and barked a short: "Shut up!" And a little quieter he added: "All of you. She left, and she had a good reason for it. I suppose. But I think she was wrong with one thing: Leaving alone was _not_ a very smart move." It was the longest speech they had heard from Atton since coming back from the party, and the tone he used was slightly disturbing. There wasn't much left of the cocky smart ass they had come to know. Instead before them was a grim and slightly detached young man. _A_ broken _man._, as Visas observed, and it made her slightly uncomfortable. The pilot with his daring and non-chalant manner had always been the one holding up moral together with Neeneá. _Especially_ when they were acting together. _Come to think of it:_ She _was also at her best when he was around._

"Spoken true, Rand. Did she explain _why_ she had to do this alone?", Mandalore asked him, but Atton looked away, saying: "She has, but I'd prefer it to… keep that to myself."

Mandalore wanted to say something but Visas bet him to it, feeling that Atton had withdrawn himself too much now to be of any further help. The young man was clearly shell-shocked and needed to rest immediately. "I have to advise strongly against questioning Atton further, Mandalore. My senses tell me that he has to rest. I suggest we all retire and postpone any discussions until _all_ of us are fit enough to attend."

For a moment there was silence, and she could see the shifting in everyone's auras. The bright red of Mira flickered a little, which was accompanied by a suppressed yawn, and the red grew a little duller. The huntress was tired, even if she tried to conceal it. The engineer's bright green one had already been dulled when he had entered the ship and was now only simmering, while the dark bronze one of the Mandalorian pulsed violently as usual, but even this pulsating was weaker than when they had entered the officer's mess some hours ago. And finally, Atton's blue aura, usually tinged with silver spots now and then - _when the Exile was around him_, Visas admitted in her mind – had changed into dimmed blue with occasional dark blurs appearing in it. It worried her the most, and she made a mental note to meditate about this immediately.

The moment of silence was gone, and everyone had agreed on her suggestion. After half an hour of bustling around the dormitories and the 'freshers, quietness overtook the _Ebon Hawk_.

_

* * *

_

_Telos, Atris' former stronghold_

She didn't quite know what to search for, only that she had felt a strong pull towards this place once again. As she exited the small freighter she had purchased only hours before Admiral Onasi's party and had named _Moon Shadow_, T3 was warbling behind her, expressing his worries as to her coming back to the now abandoned complex. She turned and smiled at the little droid. "Don't worry, I'll come back in one piece. Try to fix that stabilizer, it will keep you occupied, it'll take your mind of the worrying. You won't even notice that I'm gone." With that she left the ship and started walking into the compound.

It felt strange being here again, and there were a lot of things she would rather be doing. _Such as racing back to Citadel Station and… no, stop going there._, she told herself. She knew she had to do this because there just wasn't any other way she would get the information she needed. When she had stepped out of the ship she _had_ know what exactly she was doing here. A blush of shame started to warm her face, and she stopped just for a second to close her eyes and draw a deep breath. Yes, she needed to find Revan, but she hadn't told Atton the whole story.

Carefully she made her way through the deserted corridors of Atris' academy, shivering at the icy cold that had penetrated to building. The archive… she needed to get into the archive. Or at least somewhere she had access to the data Atris had been collecting here.

She rounded a corner, and there it was. A terminal. Just what she needed. Quickly she made her way over to it and tried to access it, but didn't succeed. She tried another three times then pulled out her comlink slightly frustrated. "T3, I think you should put fixing that stabilizer on a hold. I've got something here that should be far more interesting for you." The droid only warbled and beeped a short sentence that could be translated best with "See, I _told_ you." and then told her he'd be on his way.

Knowing there wasn't anything to do but to wait she went through her plan just _another_ time. She had told Atton she would go and look for Revan, but what she hadn't told him was why exactly, because it would have taken too great a deal to elaborate. And it would have tipped him off where to search for her _very_ easily. _And_ it would have to involve talking about what exactly had happened on their second visit to Dantooine. She closed her eyes. Yes, she had told him _something_, but not everything, and she hadn't been even remotely ready for that.

Telling him about what the council had been about to do and how it had made her feel and what Kreia had done would have been just too much. She still didn't want Atton to know how close she had been to losing it when they had told her they were going to cut her off the Force for good, or that for just one moment she actually had been grateful for what Kreia had done to them, even _smug_ and _satisfied_. Even now it horrified her having felt those things.

And that was why she needed to do what she was about to do. When she had woken up from fainting, she had actually found the courage to take a last closer look to the masters Kreia had brought to the ground, and was deeply disturbed and surprised. They weren't dead like she had thought they would be but completely empty. Lifeless, yes, empty of the Force, yes, but _not_ dead. That had been where she had made her decision. When everything would be over, when she was still alive by the end of it she would set out to find a way of curing the masters. It was the least she could do for them, if she hadn't been able to stop Kreia.

When she had faced Atris a second time, she had taken her time after defeating her. Atris and her remaining handmaidens had left, but the archive still had been there. But because the whispering of the Sith holocrons had been almost deafening and her shipmates had been waiting for her on the _Hawk_ she only had time for a short glimpse into the archives. What she had seen had told her that she wouldn't be able to fix the masters by herself, but that she needed someone who had been taught by Kreia as well and was as powerful as her. And that was Revan.

The cheerful beeping of T3 was cutting through her thoughts. She got up again and smiled at the droid. Motioning him over to the terminal she told him to try and get access to the archive files. After three failed tries T3 gave up, making his mournful "Dwoooo…" sound. Her face fell a little but she tried not to let her disappointment show in her voice. "Well, then we just need to continue deeper into the academy, huh?"

T3 just hooted in acknowledgment and followed her when she started moving again. After a short run they found themselves in the same chamber where she had battled Atris last time. Strangely enough the Sith holocrons had all disappeared. Goose bumps started to crawl up her body, and her Jedi senses suddenly were sharpened tenfold. And yes, there it was. A dark taint, enveloping the whole chamber, the whole _academy_. Why hadn't she felt it before? Had it been too faint even for her? As if on cue a cold wind swept through the room, and a very faint voice said: "Come, little Jedi. Come and get me."

Her breath hitched in her chest, and her heart beat accelerated for quite some beats. Whose voice was that? Who was playing a game with her? She hadn't even been able to make out if the voice had been male or female, human or alien. Standing completely still she dipped deeper into the Force, trying to find a signature, a bump in the Force, just _anything_ that would tell her who was behind this all. But there was nothing. Only the feeling that she wasn't done saving the galaxy by a long shot.

Cursing under her breath she made a decision. Searching for Revan would have to wait now. At first she had to find out where the Sith holocrons had disappeared to and who had taken them. And to whom in all the Stars the voice belonged she had just heard. Briefly she thought about taking the ship back to Citadel Statio and collect her crew and ship but somehow she had the feeling that this whole affair was way too dangerous to bring anyone with her except her own. Well, that and T3, that was.

Taking a deep breath, she found her center and steadied herself. Then she told the droid beside her that they would be going to… _Korriban_, she said. She didn't know where that had come from but suddenly she knew with absolute certainty that she needed to go to Korriban again. _Well then, Korriban it is._, she thought grimly while starting to run back to the _Moon Shadow_.

* * *

**A/N: **Oi, second chapter! And people, don't try to fool me, I _know _you are reading this story (bless that "Hits"-feature again and again), least you could do was leave a review behind, even if you _didn't_ like it. But hey, I had one reviewer, though not here:

**Akeera - **Thank you for your review, even if it was submitted via my weblog (just look at the bottom left next next time you finish a chapter, there's a little case with a button saying "submit review go" ;)). Of course this wasn't a one-shot, 'cause I'm not very good at them ;) No, seriously, I have great plans with that story, I just don't know the details yet. Just try to stay with the story :) And thanks for your hint concerning the Sith at the end, once I worked up a little courage I'll try, I promise ;)


	3. Chapter Three: Tomorrow Comes

**Chapter Three: Tomorrow Comes**

"_Tomorrow comes, sorrow becomes his soul mate."_

_James Blunt, "Billy"_

* * *

Ebon Hawk_, Males' Dormitory_

"_Come, little Jedi. Come and get me."_

With a jerk he sat up and panted heavily for a second or two, not knowing where or who he actually was. Then his mind cleared up a little, and he calmed down. He was still Atton Rand, still in the males' dormitory of the _Ebon Hawk_. He took another shuddering breath and put his face in his hands. What in the Force's name had _that_ been?

He had been trying to sleep for at least two hours, all the time tossing and turning because he just couldn't find a way to sort through that whole business with Né. And then he had finally been able to sleep and then suddenly just _someone_ woke him up by whispering in a ridiculously scary voice what he had just heard in his sleep. He didn't even know if he had really heard it or if it was just a part of one of his totally mixed up dreams.

But the feeling it had carried with it… so _cold_ and _evil_. The last time he had felt anything as evil as that had been in the tomb on Dxun when he had tried to prevent that Sith ritual from happening with Né and Visas. Granted, he hadn't been a trained Force adept at that time, but the whole place had almost literaly _reeked _of evil.

And now traces of Dark Side energy were still hanging in the room. Faint as they were, he could still feel them, with his senses sharpened after the training with Né and everything. Sighing in a low voice, he laid down again and shut his eyes. But the only things that would come were either images of Né at their last meeting, with all the distress and pain on her face, and the tears… or the memory of the cold whisper which had woken him up.

After a few more turns Atton got up groaning. Mical's drunken snoring and Mandalore's grunting he could ignore at any time, but that voice together with the images and the fainting traces of evil in the dormitory made it impossible for him to stay any longer. Grabbing a lose shirt and his side deck he made his way to the cockpit.

Plunging down in the pilot's seat he shuffled the deck and started to play solo pazaak. But from the start his thoughts weren't on the game. He found them circling solely around Né and the circumstances of her leaving. Why in all the Stars did she have to go on a search for _Revan,_ of all people? _I mean, it's not as if she hasn't been Dark Lord of the Sith at one time._, he though a little sourly.

But then again, he had experienced it himself: Sometimes it was obviously very easy for her to forgive what others deemed unforgivable. Closing his eyes he leant back, putting his game on a temporally halt. From all the Jedi he had known – and yes, _killed_ – Neeneá Tekal had surprised him the most. Not even Ootah – the Jedi who had been responsible for his desertion from the Sith – had surprised him so much. True, she had shown him something very stunning about himself but in the end she had behaved like any other Jedi – aloof, superior and arrogant.

Né had always been different. Maybe it had had something to do with her initial memory loss when they had met on Peragus II, maybe it just was _her_. She had been insecure at first, but had proven very fast to be a capable warrior. She had stoically borne his stupid come-ons and innuendoes at first and shooting back some of her own when she had felt a little more at ease in his company.

He had been surprised at how fast she had warmed up to him, and then how loyal she had been, even at those times when the old witch had given her a hard time about tolerating him on board. The old witch… he still wished Né would have listened to him earlier. Only when she had found him beaten up by those damn Handmaidens on Dantooine had she believed him that Kreia was "Sith as ever Sith it gets", as he had put it then.

_She had left the cockpit without a word after she had ordered him to go to Telos, and it had kind of scared him. Usually, Né didn't order because she didn't need it. She kindly asked and people would do it, just because it was her asking. He then had taken off and set course to Telos. For a while he had debated searching her out and had finally decided to do it, all the time searching after her afraid he would only find her meditating with Sleeps-with-Jedi-holocrons in the cargo hold again. _

_But he had found her sitting in the females' dormitory, just on the same spot the old witch had used to sit while meditating. She had had her back to him, and for a moment he had thought she was meditating, but then it had dawned on him that sitting curled up with your knees against your chest and your arms around them and your head on them clearly wasn't her usual meditating position. _

_Taking a deep breath he had pushed himself away from the door frame he had been leaning against, closed the door and walked over to her. He had crouched down beside her and had laid a hand on her shoulder, softly asking: "Hey, beautiful, what's wrong?" _

_She had lifted her head, and stared at him in utter disbelief: "What's wrong? I just saw my Master going all Sith on the masters and then you having been beaten to pulp by the Handmaidens of a woman I used to call a friend and you ask me what's wrong? I'd really love to have your nerve right now, you…" _

_It had been the first time ever Né had lashed out at him like this, and it had triggered his usual reaction: lashing out as well. "Hey, sister, now don't go all frag grenade on me. I did nothing to deserve this, at least not this time. I just wanted to help, that's all. But if your Ladyship is too much of a Jedi now to appreciate that, I can go. Saves me a lot of trouble, too."_

_She had suddenly looked shocked at first and then like a wounded gizka. After another shock second she had looked away again and said a lot quieter: "You… I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that. Please excuse me now. I… need time alone."_

_He had taken a deep breath then, knowing he would likely be maneuvering himself into dangerous waters. "I…um… I don't think so. I'm your friend, Né, and you've done a lot for me. Now let me repay at least a little. Just… come here, won't you?"_

_She had looked at him with red-rimmed eyes, tears streaming down her face, not able to move. He had raised an eyebrow encouragingly and had said: "You don't have to talk, just don't… cry in here all alone. Now, what're you waiting for, huh?" It had been a daring step for him, as he still wasn't completely sure what she felt for him and if she really trusted him, even more so since she had know about his past at that point already. And so it had come as a surprise for him that she had taken him up on his offer and had actually turned towards him, hugging him and crying herself to sleep in his arms. _

He missed her. Even now, when she still wasn't gone for a whole standard day, he missed her terribly. He missed the banter and the smiles and the pazaak games, even if she had been a horrible player. He missed the easiness with which she was turning straight towards him when she felt troubled. He missed… just everything about her. Groaning he put his face in his hands again. Somewhere deep down he had the terrifying feeling that without her always a part of him would be missing.

"I take it I was not the only one having been disturbed in my sleep a little while ago?", suddenly a voice said behind him, and he nearly jumped out of his seat.

"Dammit, Visas, I _told_ you not to sneak up on me like that. You just scared the living bantha-poodoo out of me!"

Atton spun around in his seat, facing the Miraluka Jedi. "I am sorry to have cause you distress. It was never in my intent to scare you."

Grunting a little, Atton muttered a "Yeah, alright, didn't die from a heart attack, everything's still running."

"But you _do_ know why I am here though, do you not?"

Sighing he nodded. "Yeah, very easy to figure _that_ out. If _I_ could hear that voice, chances were pretty good _you_ would hear it as well."

The Miraluka shifted her stance a little. "You underestimate your potential, Atton. I am sure you also felt what accompanied that voice."

_How does she do that?_ "Stay out of my mind, will you? But yes, I felt it. Drove me out of the room actually. Was kinda surprised Mical didn't feel it as well. But then again… stupid boy's still completely out of it."

"I was not in your mind. I merely was aware of the fact that Neeneá once mentioned your exceptional perceptiveness, even at your nearly untrained status."

He raised an eyebrow and carefully masked the warm feeling that was suddenly spreading through him at Visas' mentioning of Né's praise of him with dripping sarcasm: "Mentioned my "exceptional perceptiveness" now, has she? Anyway, what's your opinion on this whole thing?"

Visas heaved a small sigh. "It is… distressing. I absolutely do not know who caused this but I _do_ know that it is nothing to be taken likely. The traces of evil that remained after the voice were too real for this. We need to find out more about this. I… have the feeling that this could endanger Neeneá gravely."

An alarm bell sounded in the back of Atton's head. He _absolutely_ didn't like the sound of this. Something – some_one _– was after her and the first thing that stupid girl does is run away on some stupid suicide mission to get an ex-Sith Lord back. Probably had known this all along, as he knew her. "Dammit!"

Visas cocked her head a little. "What is it?"

He jumped up and started pacing the small space in the cockpit. "Stupid Jedi girl's known it all along, I bet. When she had come for me yesterday, I could feel it. She'd been keeping a secret, and I didn't say anything because I was too busy… Well, no, way too personal for you."

"Whatever it is she was carrying with her, we need to act. We have to find her, and help her against whoever is threatening her."

Atton cocked an eyebrow towards Visas. The Jedi woman usually wasn't very brash or forthcoming, which was why her adamant and insistent demand now startled him a little. If _Visas_ was like this then something needed to be done. And suddenly it was _his_ decision to act. Uncomfortable as he felt, he still closed his eyes briefly and then told Visas: "Alright. Wake up the rest of the crew, I'll get us a take-off clearance and try to plot some plan where to go first. We'll meet in the main hold in ten minutes, exactly."

"As you wish.", was Visas' only reply, and he was surprised to hear no mocking in it.

_

* * *

_

_Korriban, Sith Ruins_

At the moment she had said foot on the planet again she knew that something terrible had happened. And yes, not only were two of the tombs on the planet's surface all open, but there was a freshness to the planet's native dark energy that made her instinctively coil back into the space ship. Neeneá Tekal had had her fair share of dark side exposure alright, but this felt like being hit by a hurrican, like being sucked into a maelstrom… or like a big, cunning, ferocious predator ready to strike at any moment.

For a moment she debated sealing the entry ramp and getting off the planet as fast as possible, but in the end her sense of duty and her curiosity got the better of her, and she took a deep breath, took her double-bladed light saber from her belt and walked down the ramp again, telling T3 to stay with the ship. At first she opted to examine the tombs a little closer. They had been inaccessible at her last time on Korriban, and the new dark currents she felt were mostly coming from three of them. The first one she entered was that of Marka Ragnos.

After a few paces it was pitch dark, and she ignited her light saber, even if it did spend only little light. Carefully she edged along the wall, using her Force senses to feel forward for any dangerous creatures or devices, but the dark energy that was filling the tomb somewhat deafened her and made it nearly impossible to concentrate. It was as if a thousand voices were whispering to her, luring her, cajoling her, threatening her to just give in to the dark.

Yes, she had had battles fought against the dark side – in fact she was fighting them nearly every day of her life, but this was different. The pull here was so _strong_, and it was so _easy_ to just let go.

_Focus._, she thought. _I need to focus._ For a moment she stood, closing her eyes, trying to find a picture or a sound or a feeling or just _anything_ inside her that brought her peace and silence. And then she found it. _Because you will be here with me, playing pazaak…_ He had stood right before her, almost whispering this as an answer when she had asked him why he was playing pazaak even in his head. And Atton had explained to her that he used it as a mean to block his mind from others, but she had heard something else in it: the promise of _something_. _You will be here with me… _Even then it had somehow filled her with warm anticipation and peace. It was just _perfect_ for a moment like this.

She fleetingly thought about how sad it was that she would maybe never be able to tell him how much his little advice had helped her in this place, but she dismissed the thought quickly and focused just on the feeling the memory left behind. She started running again, soon finding her in a hall. With her senses she located a torch nearby and picked it up. She used a lighter from her utility belt and soon could turn off her light saber. Levitating the torch she used it to ignite the remaining ones and suddenly found her in what could be called the ante-chamber to a mausoleum.

Apart from the flickering torches it suddenly was deathly quiet, and that made her nervous. The voices had subsided, and that was not due to the fact that she found a way to focus away from them. She wasn't _that_ good. Igniting her light saber again and now using the torch to light the way before her she carefully made her way towards the actual mausoleum.

Meter after meter the room was lit up, and when the light fell on the tomb it nearly made her cry out in horror. The tomb was empty. Not only wasn't there any body left but it also _felt_ empty. As empty as Master Kavar had felt. _Dear Force, what have they done?_, was her first thought when she edged closer. But she wouldn't find out by just staring at it. Trembling she made her decision. She would use the Force sight to try and find out what had happened.

Steeling herself with a last deep breath she brought herself to step into the place where the sarcophagus had been and closed her eyes. She opened herself up to the Force, let it flow through her… and then the pictures came floating toward her like a holovid played very fast.

_A woman in dark robes… her face as white as snow… A man in Jedi robes, dragged in by others, wearing the robes and armors of Sith warriors… The woman again…_ Atris! _An open sarcophagus and a rotten skeleton… Voices, so many voices… whispering, shouting, howling… The man again… _Kavar! _jerking, awakening… a vicious glint in his eyes… "And so I'm free again!"_

Panting heavily she dragged herself away from the sarcophagus' hold. _No!_, she thought desperately. _No! She couldn't have done this. Not Atris! Not even Atris!_, the thoughts raged threw her mind, but in her heart she knew the truth. It _had_ been Atris who had somehow summoned the ghost of Marka Ragnos and it _had_ been Kavar's body which had served her as vase for it.

Suddenly an almost inhuman scream pierced the dead silence of the tomb, and terrified she noticed that she didn't even know if it came from her or some other source. And then she did the only thing that came to her mind: She ran like she had never run before. When she suddenly felt the taints of the dark side reach out to her almost _corporeal_ – just like cobwebs – she pushed her speed even more, ignoring her protesting lungs and feet.

Getting out of the tomb she noticed dusk had crept over the planet, and her decision was an immediate one: She would leave. Now. She didn't care about the other open tomb, as she already was pretty sure what had happened there, and she didn't care about the missing time as she was pretty sure that the third tomb used by Atris would be the one of Ludo Kressh in the Shyrack Cave.

Panting and gasping for air she let herself fall into the pilot's and took of too fast to even be able to warn T3 to grab a hold somewhere. The droid screeched in protest, but she didn't care. Only when she was fast away from the planet that all she felt was the eternal humming of the universe did she slow down. Curling up in her seat she withdrew herself to the deepest depths of her mind, cowering in blind fear of what she had just witnessed. And what she was to encounter if she chose to follow her recent path.

* * *

**A/N: **Whoa, this was like the creepiest chapter I've ever written. And I don't even like horror :P Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed:

**Everyone who told me to keep updating - **I'll do my best though I tend to have sudden cases of writer's block (like with "Minor Characters" - I bet my beta-reader's just waiting for my next e-mail to give me a decent thrashing for neglecting that story for so long ;)) and _that_ tends to lead to extensive times without updates. So please be prepared :S

**Kitty E - **Well, I did write he only had four glasses of alcohol. I figured that being a scholar who's a little "worldly innocent" makes him someone who gets drunk very easily but isn't quite aware of that ;)

**Amme Moto - **Thanks for adding me to your favorites :)


	4. Chapter Four: Three Wise Men

**Chapter Four: Three Wise Men**

"_Those three Wise Men,  
They've got a semi by the sea.  
Got to ask yourself the question,  
Where are you now?"_

_James Blunt, "Wise Men"_

* * *

Ebon Hawk_, Main Hold_

Atton looked around the assembled crew – now complete, including a very hung over Mical – and cleared his throat. It really did look as if they were expecting a speech from him. "Uh, alright… You all seem a bit shaken so I take it you've all heard our friend this night. Well, maybe not you." He gestured to Mical, who in turn grumbled something incomprehensible.

"Anyway… Something happened, and it wasn't good. I think we agree on that one, right?" Everyone nodded. After a short pause to center himself he continued: "Visas here thinks that whatever it was that woke us up may bring a lot of trouble. For the galaxy, for us… for Né. So… ahem… I think we should act."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "Atton "I don't care for anyone but myself" Rand wants to mount a rescue mission for a _Jedi_?"

Faster than anyone could have anticipated Atton had rounded the holotable and had Mira by the sides of her collar. "Don't you _ever_ call me _that_ again! You _know_ it's not true. Who saved your sorry little bounty hunter ass on Dxun when those Sith had you practically pinned to the floor? Who went after Né when she was captured on board GO-TO's yacht? Who shipped you all off Malachor V? Huh?"

Usually Mira wasn't someone easily intimidated but this side of Atton got even to her. His grip on her jacket was like iron, and the coldness in his voice and in his eyes made her want to recoil from his touch immediately. This wasn't Atton Rand – smuggler, pazaak player, smart ass extraordinaire – anymore, this was a cold-blooded killer.

"Atton, stop it." It was nothing more than this but somehow the calmness in Visas' voice made him sober up and let Mira down immediately. She drew back a few steps instinctively, shooting him a look that said very clearly: "You'll regret that, Rand."

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence Visas rose to speak: "Everyone of you who is Force-sensitive must have felt the dark taint caused by the voice." She looked around and could feel or hear an affirmative by everyone apart from Mandalore and Disciple. When no one said anything she felt herself compelled to continue: "In my sleep I saw great evil, though I could not find out any details. But the feeling of great urgency stayed behind, and I gravely advise that we try to find Neeneá as soon as possible. Neither will stand a chance without the other. My suggestion is that we head to Dantooine first, because I feel that there is a strong connection between the planet and what has happened."

"Alright, any other suggestions?", Atton threw in and waited for the crew to say something. But they only eyed him suspiciously and it seemed to him that they all had taken at least one stay further away from him. _Way to go, Rand. That's _the_ way of making everlasting friendships._, he thought sarcastically, but kept his impassive face on the outside.

When no suggestions came and the choice of Dantooine was agreed on, he closed the meeting and told everyone to make any last time appointments or get what they needed from Citadel Station. However, one last thing remained. As everyone was about to file out of the room, Atton turned towards Mandalore. "I'd… like to have a short word with you."

The Mandalorian raised an eyebrow. "What about?"

Atton tried not to fidget as Mandalore always made him feel inadequate and inferior. "I… take it you'll be returning to Dxun, now that your work's done?"

The look on the warrior's face shifted from mild indignation to intimidation. "My work?"

"Well… uh… it _was_ your job to make sure Né was safe until that whole Sith-business was over, right?"

"Yes. And it isn't over. You should have listened to the Jedi lady more closely. So now the formula's very easy: We find the Exile, we make sure she beats whoever is sending out threads to Jedi, I stay as long as I'm needed. You get it?"

The look on Mandalore's face didn't leave any questions. Grudgingly Atton just nodded and then said: "Well… it's always good to have some additional firepower around."

Mandalore only nodded. "Glad that there's still a warrior somewhere deep inside of you."

With that he left, and Atton was about to leave for the cockpit to make some last-time adjustments to the navi-computer when suddenly Visas appeared before him and scared him to death, just like always. "Atton, we need to talk.", she said.

"Alright. And please _do_ stop appearing out of nowhere. 'Cause some day I'll happen to have a light saber or a blaster in my hand, and do something hasty and very nasty to you, just because my heart nearly stopped beating."

"I would refrain from threatening your team members if I were you." She startled him. Ususally Visas was a very quiet woman, sharing her opinions only with Né, practically never daring to speak up to anyone else. It suddenly kept him alert.

"Well," he said very causally, "what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Visas shifted her stance a little. "Your little… slip with Mira. That was… dangerous."

"It'll teach her not to call me an egoistic asshole again."

"No, Atton, it will teach her to fear you. And fear leads to hate. And hate… You may not have seen her face but I have seen her aura. And I have seen _your_ aura. Both of them looked… ugly."

He raised an eyebrow. "Ugly?"

"Distorted. Tainted. For a moment both of you were lured away from the path of light. I would advise you to… hold your temper, Atton."

"Hey, look, I ain't even a proper _padawan_, you really think I'm in any danger from the dark side?"

There was sadness creeping into Visas' voice. "Everyone of us has to battle the dark side. From the very first day we know of our own ties to the Force, and ever day of our experience. And… Atton… there is more to you than meets the eye. You have once tasted the dark side, have you not?"

_She knows it._ Panic filled him. Visas _knew _about his ties to the Sith. And he reacted just like he always reacted when he felt himself cornered: he lashed out. "You know _nothing_ about me, sister. Stay the _hell_ out of my head."

"I have not been in your head. I did not need to. I can see this in your aura, as she has changed after Neeneá left. But I do not pass judgment on you as I have my own tainted past. Whatever you did is behind you now. But tell me this: Does Neeneá know?"

Slightly surprised by her words he just nodded and said: "Yes. She… knows the whole story. But… don't make me recount it. Two times were enough."

She nodded and said: "As you wish. But be careful, Atton. Be heedful of the dark side, and do not let it get to you again. She would be devastated."

He got the hint fair and square. _Clever little vixen to use Né against me like that._ Contritely he rubbed his neck and answered: "Alright, I'll work on it. Just don't… tell any of the others, okay?"

Visas tilted her head. "Yes, you have my promise. And another advise: do try to reconcile with the huntress. She seems to be someone who one would have rather as an ally than an antagonist."

He heaved a sigh. "I'll try, though I'm not making any promises. Anything else you'd like to tell me?"

She shook her head. "No. I will leave you now to your duties as the ship's captain, if there is nothing else you need to know."

With that the Jedi walked away quietly in the direction of the dormitory she usually used to meditate. Atton though stayed in the main hold for another moment, closing his eyes. _Great, so now your past is catching up with you at last._ Not that he hadn't enough on his plate already, oh no, now he had to worry about falling to the dark side as well, with no one to guide him than Visas who was fairly new to the light side business as well. _Dammit, Né, why did I let you go? Revan doesn't need you, but I do. _We_ do. We'll be at each other's throats in no time without you._, he thought, hoping they could hold together for at least until they would find her again.

_

* * *

_

_Deep Space,_ Moon Shadow_, cockpit_

The droid behind her warbled, and he sounded very worried. But she didn't react. The reason was a very simple one, yet an inconceivable for the droid. So T3 chose to keep silent and wait for his Master to come out of whatever human stint she was pulling right now.

She, however, had retreated very far into the depths of her mind. The encounter on Korriban had shaken her up considerably. She had only come out of her state when she had done a blind micro jump into deep space, where there was only the gentle back humming of the universe and no voice were whispering to her or trying to lure her somewhere she didn't want to go.

And there she was overwhelmed by her grief and fear and anger. Grief over the three Jedi masters that were now lost forever most presumably, fear of what she would find if she chose to encounter Atris and the bodies of the former Jedi masters that now held the ghosts of three powerful Sith Lords and anger at Atris for betraying her like this. _Oh, Atris, I should never have let you live. Kreia was right. Mercy only makes you weak._

At that she instantly recoiled deeper inside. What was she _thinking_? This was against everything she believed in, against everything the _Jedi_ believed in. _But weren't it those Jedi who were so afraid of you that they wanted to take away your powers? To strip you off the very core of yourself?_, a treacherous little voice that sounded suspiciously like Kreia in the back of her mind said, and she rose to protest. _They were. But the doing of three single beings does not make the teachings of the Order obsolete. Killing Atris would have made me no better than her. It would have me just the_ same_. I did the_ right _thing. _

_Yes, keep telling that to yourself, and you will see what you get from it._, the voice said and suddenly she wasn't so sure anymore if it was just a part of herself that was talking or of it was another force.

She chose to attack the enemy right then and there instead of waiting for hi to reveal himself. She may have defended the code but she still believed that sometimes the best you could do was throw pacifism and caution over board. _Who are you, and what are you doing in my head?_

_Oh, you know me. Very well. Just search inside of you, and you will recognize me._ And then the only thing she felt was a vicious laugh echoing through her mind.

Suddenly she snapped back to reality with a gasp. She closed her eyes for a moment, then sat upright and turned towards her controls again. "Search inside my ass.", she grumbled and tried to feel as cocky as Atton usually played to be. But everything it got her was deep yearning she had tried to keep at bay since she had left.

Well, no, if she was honest to herself then she had tried to keep it at bay for the biggest part of their journey. Every time they had been sitting at the pazaak table, every time they had shared some quiet time within an oddly comforting silence in the cockpit, every time he had tended to her injuries on mission, becoming more attentive with every day they knew each other.

Force, did she _miss_ him. She missed his scoundrel's grin, his "Pure pazaak!" at every possible occasion, even his letting her win a pazaak game now and then. And she missed it how he just seemed to know what she needed when she was stressed in some way.

She remembered the flight after their first visit on Onderon when she felt like a complete loser for not being able to help the people there. He had sought her out and hadn't let up until she had finally talked to him about it all.

She remembered how he had comforted her after finding Master Vash dead on Korriban and she remembered how he had made the confusion and trepidation after the encounters in Ludo Kressh's tomb go away with just sitting beside her, holding her and listening to her incoherent ramblings.

And of course she remembered how he had wormed his way through her barriers after the disaster on Dantooine and how had helped her cling to her sanity after Malachor V. In the end it always been _him_ who could make her feel better. Not Kreia's cryptic remarks and attempts at teaching her, not Visas' counsel, not even Bao-Dur's calming presence or Mical's company at meditation and certainly not Mandalore's tales of war everyone else seemed to enjoy at least once in a while. Only Atton had the ability to make her feel _whole_ again.

Her head hit the console. How stupid could one woman be? All the time he'd been there, and she had all taken it for granted, giving him _nothing_ in return, deserting him instead at the first chance she got. And it dawned on her. This hadn't been about Revan or the masters – well, not solely at least – this had been about _being afraid_. Being afraid of the bond they had formed, being afraid of how it would affect him, being afraid of having nothing to give him, of always only being the one to _take_.

He had been wrong. He hadn't been the only deserter on the ship. She was just as bad, maybe even worse. Thousands… _millions_ of beings had died at her hands, and in the end she hadn't faced her punishment but had stubbornly and arrogantly defied the council with ramming her light saber into the center stone of the council room and storming out of the room.

But she had a chance to make it right. She just needed to find the three wise men – or at least what was left of them – and their Telosian mistress in time before they could wreak more havoc on the galaxy, and she needed to do it _fast_. She would fight the threat, and then she would return to him, hoping he was still willing to forgive her for deserting him in the first place.

She took a deep breath. "T3?" The droid hooted. "We'll not let Atris get away with that. Set a course for Dantooine. I think we should have a look at the second scene of crime."

The droid's answer wasn't a cheerful one but in the end he consented to her will and they were on their way to Dantooine.

* * *

**A/N: **Ay caramba, 'nother chapter! Can't believe it, I'm already at four chapters. And still with only 5 reviews. Oh come on people, you _know_ we writers are kinda _starving _without reviews. We practically _live_ of them. Now, give this poor girl here a few crumps and let her know what you think, right? Please:making big puppy eyes: 

**Amme Moto - **I hated Kreia almost the whole game :p Really, can't stand that woman, and everytime I accidently gained Influence points for her and in the process lost some from my Influence with Atton I seriously considered striking her down just for the sake of some satisfaction ;) No, okay, seriously, that character is the most annoying one in the whole game, even beating Master Vrook.


	5. Chap Five: She danced in the Starlight

**Chapter Five: She danced in the Starlight**

„_In the shadow of the moon,  
She danced in the starlight  
Whispering a haunting tune  
To the night..."_

_Blackmore's Night, „Shadow of the Moon"_

_

* * *

_

_Dantooine, Khoonda Landing Pad_

The first thing they noticed after the fact that it was dark outside when getting off the ship was the silence. It was… all-embracing, deafening. There were no birds singing, no insects humming, not even predators howling in the dark. And most of all no human sounds. Dantooine was presenting itself dark and barren to them.

A wind swept over the Khoonda Plains, and suddenly the rustling of the grass that covered the surroundings could be heard, and they all felt relieved somehow. As if the rustling had been the key to break the spell of death that seemed to have befallen the planet.

"I do not like this. When we were here first… the planet was brimming with primitive life, animals, plants… What I feel now… is just a pale copy of what it used to be.", Visas announced quietly.

Atton swore under his breath. Someone had been faster than them, and that someone had left behind death. Even he could feel the echoes of the life-forms that had been killed here recently. And it hadn't been an easy death. But standing around here and just drinking in the damage didn't do them any good.

"Alright, people. You heard the Lady. Something happened here, and we need to know what. I think it's best if we split up in teams. Mical, you, Visas and Bao-Dur will have a look at the Enclave. Search around for any keys – pieces of metal, blaster scourges, pieces of clothes, I don't care. Just everything that looks useful. And try to look out for any remaining evil. I've got the bad feeling that we'll encounter it faster than we think." The Disciple nodded, looking a little surprised and a little scared.

He didn't move, though. "Dammit, pretty boy, what're you waiting for? Get your asses over there. _Now._" Mical jumped a little at Atton's harsh request, but did as told. He motioned for Visas – who made a last meaningful turn towards Atton – and Bao-Dur to follow him towards the bridge that led to the Enclave.

Atton turned back to the rest. "Mira, you, me and Mandalore are going to have a look at the Administration Building. Visas said that she still felt a little life here, and I do, too. What about you, Mira?" The former bounty hunter didn't answer, just glared back at him. He groaned in frustration. "Oh, come on, you still angry at me? Look, I… _did_ overreact…"

"Now, look at that. Atton Rand's actually _apologizing_ to someone. You should record that, Mandalore, 'cause this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.", she spat out.

He clenched and unclenched his fists a few time before answering, all the time trying to hold on to Visas' counsel. "Hey, sister, I never said, I was gonna apologize…"

"Oh, but that's the thing you should better do, you know.", Mandalore chimed in, and Atton could hear the slight amusement even through his helmet comlink.

_I would refrain from threatening your team members if I were you._, Visas' voice from little heart-to-heart resounded in his head, and for a moment he had a hard time actually listening to it. He took a deep breath, steadying himself with it. "Alright. Yes. I apologize. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped at you like that. Satisfied?", he huffed.

She took her time, eyeing him, seizing him up. Then she finally said: "Yeah. Just don't pull a stunt like that again. You're…", she shifted her stance a little and when she continued her voice was a little softer, "you're not the only one missing her. We _all_ do. But we got a job to do, and we won't get anything done when you jump on everyone for looking at you the wrong way. So… stop acting like a jerk towards Mical, too, okay?"

That came as a surprise to him. How come she was defending anyone besides herself? And why _Mical_ of all people? Pretty boy that hung around med-bay all day, probably fantasizing about rescuing _her_ single-handedly and… "Hey, ground crew to Atton. You still with us?" A waving hand appeared before his face and snapped him back to reality.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Let's… uh… head to the Administration Building." With that he unsheathed his blaster and took the lead.

Carefully they made their way towards the building. It still stood, but all the doors were open, and it was just _empty_. There were no traces of a fight, at least not newer than the last time they had been here. The only thing that was strange was that obviously the complex was powered down completely. There was no computer terminal working, and all the lights were put out. They had to rely only on their light sabers and Mandalore's helmet lamp for light. "Never seen anything so creepy. And I've been in a _lot_ of creepy places.", Mira's voice cut through the unnatural silence and startled Atton.

"What is it with Jedi woman and scaring the living shit out of me, huh?", he asked a little grumpily.

"Well, you had that one coming, Rand.", she answered cheerfully, but there was no malice emanating from her. She actually was _teasing_ him. Smiling a little he let it slip.

After ten more minutes they were done investigating the complex and had found nothing. Zero. N'ta. Just plain nothing. Frustrated Atton was about to announce their return to the ship when he suddenly heard a scream right inside his head. _Need help. At Enclave!_ It sounded like Visas on the top of her lungs, and all three of them spun around instantaneously and raced straight for the ruins of the Enclave.

After arriving they could clearly make out the sound of blaster shots and the humming of light sabers coming from the part of the enclave that formerly had been inhabited by the re-evoked council. While they were running Mira and Atton ignited their light sabers, while Mandalore unsheathed a heavy rifle. When they got to the council patio, they were greeted by blinding bolts of lightening shooting through the dark.

And then suddenly the dark side energy hid them like a wall. Mira and Atton both bounced back involuntarily, and even Mandalore drew back a little. Then Visas screamed, and a light blue light saber – obviously Mical's – went down to the ground. Purely following their instincts Mira, Atton and Mandalore charged right into the battle.

At first they had no plan as who they were fighting against but when they had somewhat adjusted to the flickering light of light sabers and blasters cast at the scenery they could make out Sith armor as well as Dark Jedi robes. Atton cursed. That alone would have been bad enough, but soon it became clear that they were outnumbered at almost _impossible_ odds. It seemed as if after every assassin they cut down three more would emerge from the shadows.

One by one his friends tired out, and Visas seemed to take longer and longer to regain enough strength to heal them through the Force. Plus it seemed that the dark energy in the patio seemed to just absorb the energy of every Force attack or armor power they used. Desperation crept into his mind, and made him slow down more and more. They were losing, and he didn't even know to whom… _Forgive me, Né…_

Just as he was about to finally give up, he suddenly felt his mood lighten up, his vigour renewed. _Well… I'll be damned but…_ "Pure pazaak!", he shouted as he suddenly saw an orange double blade light up atop the wall that was surrounding them.

_

* * *

_

_Khoonda Plains near the Jedi Enclave_

Even upon setting down the _Shadow_ on the Khoonda Plains it occurred to her that something was wrong. _Horribly_ wrong. The planet was almost barren, the energy pulsating off it only a faint remainder of what it used to be. But there, just about fifty meters away from her, a big, bad, dark bubble had suddenly emerged. Right after she had felt all those who were bound to her by the Force close. She had singled-out Atton, was just about to tell him she was here… And then Visas had been screaming inside her head, and suddenly there had been this dark bubble right at the Jedi Enclave.

Rushing past T3 without a word she unclipped her light saber and ran towards the Jedi Enclave. Bolts of lightening shot into the sky from one of the patios, which she instantaneously identified as the one where the last council had judged her. She used the force to speed her up and levitated herself on the wall surrounding it. She looked down and for a moment the scenery down in the patio stunned her. It was a flurry of light sabers and blaster fire and Force Lightening and the glow that accompanied Visas' healing powers and…

She took a step forward and was stunned a second time. The dark energy that was surrounding the patio felt like a second and very solid wall. But it was only confined to the boundaries of the patio… There had to be focal point somewhere… A center… She closed her eyes and dipped into the force, swimming through the currents, singling out the dark ones, following them to their source, their point of origin… Her eyes flew open. Down there in the patio… it was right down in the patio. The source… All she needed to find was the source.

But before that she needed to do something else. She closed her eyes again, this time concentrating on herself. Her friends most likely were tired and exhausted by now, and their opponents were still fresh… She opened up, preparing herself for Battle Meditation. Yes, she had never mastered it like Bastila Shan had, but her powers were strong enough for holding out as long as five minutes. She concentrated… hard… And then she was panting heavily, but suddenly feeling the bonds to her friends strengthening again.

As she ignited her double-bladed light saber, she suddenly heard someone exclaim "Pure Pazaak!" like a battle cry from below, and with a grim smile she jumped right into the cannok pit that the patio had become.

She landed right beside Atton, and her presence alone made him forget all about the burning blaster wound on his right arm and ardent cuts all over his body… She was cutting threw the enemy lines like butter, carefully putting them out in a complicated dance of light saber swings and roundhouse kicks. Her arrival had given him a second or two to catch his breath, and he used them completely with staring at her. She was poetry in motion. She was dancing….

"Everyone on me! Ignore the assassins. Just trust me!", she suddenly shouted, and he acted without thinking, making his way towards her half-heartedly cutting down more enemies. As were Mira's red light saber, Visas' violet ones, Mical's blue one… The orange double-blade headed straight toward the very center of the patio. Né suddenly skidded to a halt and held her hand up, sending a Force Wave into a group of assassins that were assaulting her, but instead of hitting them, suddenly a stealth field shimmered and it engulfed a figure in dark robes that held out its right arm and hadn't been there before. _I could have sworn…_

Before the figure could do anything, Né had cut the right arm off with her light saber.

And suddenly the silence was deafening. Every single Sith trooper and Dark Jedi had disappeared. Every one but the dark figure in the center. "Don't even _think_ about it!", Né hissed at it was about to raise the left arm. With a quick gesture she had taken off the hood with the Force and revealed a very young looking woman with white hair. One of Atris' Echani Handmaidens.

Her face was so contorted by hate that Né involuntary took a step backwards. "So much for Atris surrounding herself only with people blind and deaf to the Force.", she commented sarcastically.

"My mistress discovered my talent only recently and has only begun to train me.", the Handmaiden said, and the sheer amount of arrogance and over-confidence made Né want to strike her pretty face.

But she kept an impassive façade and just said: "Well, _that_ at least was very obvious."

The Handmaiden now was cradling her injured arm to her, but that didn't make her any less arrogant. "She has more power than all of you together. And she has gained powerful allies. Soon you will find yourself at the hand of her mercy. If you let me go… I could try to convince her to let you die very fast and with a minimum amount of pain."

"I think she has made the worst allies she could find. If I were you, I would seek to escape from her grasp as fast as possible.", Né stated, and for just one moment hoped that the Handmaiden grabbed the hand offered to her, but the look on her face told her otherwise.

And there was even more disdain in her voice than before, if that was even possible. "I will _never_ abandon my Mistress. Not betray her like _you_ did. Oh, you may like to wallow in the puddle of denial but you _have_ betrayed her. She offered you a place beside her, power, wealth, everything you liked. But you turned her down for a pathetic religious concept called "the light side"." The Handmaiden was becoming more and more agitated, and suddenly she was shrieking: "I will _show_ you what it means to defy my Mistress. I will…"

She raised her left hand, but as if on cue every member of Né's party had moved to intercept her and after a second the only thing that remained was a bloody corps at the ground.

For a second it was dead silent again, but then everything seemed to happen at once. Né fainted, Atton rushed to her side, Mical's light saber clattered to the ground as he also fainted, Mandalore swore and before Visas or Mira could reach either of the downed Jedi suddenly the patio was filling with people streaming up from a hidden cellar entrance in the back of the patio.

Being the first to regain her senses, Mira coughed loudly and shouted over to Atton who was still cradling the unconscious Né in his lap, obviously oblivious to everything around him: "Oi, lover boy! Stop staring at her for a moment and help us get some order in this place, will you!"

* * *

**A/N: **Oh dear... I'm on a roll again. If I'm lucky I can finish this story in a week or two (one week would be better because by the end of next week I'll have no internet access for an infinite amount of time...). And uh... I'd really love it if there were more than ten reviews _before_ I complete this story :wink wink nudge nudge: Oh, and the first reader to discover something that's different from the other chapters (well, apart from the number, title and content, that is) gets a big e-cookie :)

**Vratix - **Thank you very much for your encouragement and praise. I hope I can uphold at least the niveau at which I'm writing at the moment :)

**Amme Moto - **Well, uh, I found Vrook annoying as well, but he had far fewer opportunities to harrass one than Kreia, and that alone improved his status very much. Plus I recently found a LiveJournal titled "Ask Master Vrook" which was one of the funniest I ever read ;)


	6. Chapter Six: All I ever wanted

**Chapter Six: All I ever wanted**

„_All I ever wanted  
All I ever needed  
Is here in my arms  
Words are very unnecessary  
They can only do harm"_

_Depeche Mode, „Enjoy the Silence"_

* * *

Ebon Hawk_, Med-Bay_

Finally.

Finally everything was done.

Finally the people of Khoonda were brought into provisional quarters, they had emergency power from the _Hawk_'s standby set, they had been given first aid treating. As had been given the crew members as well. Mira had volunteered to fly Né's ship to the Landing Pad. The only thing that was lacking now was a conscious Né.

"Now, will you _just_ get out of my way?", Mical scolded Atton who just continued staring at Ne´'s still form on the cot. He had let the Disciple clean out and dress his deeper wounds and Force-heal the more superficial ones without a word, the whole time staring at the woman on the cot. And now Mical was just fed up with the lovesick pilot. "Look, I have to do some work. I need to clean up the med-bay, and have a look at our stock, and I desperately want to go to bed. So I need to do all of this fast. But I can't do it fast if you continue to sit there and stare and block my way to the stock." Still no answer.

"Hey, I'm _talking_ to you!"

Atton grunted, then said: "No, you're _bothering_ me. Can't you do that stuff tomorrow? And why's she still unconscious? I mean, _that's_ something you should be concerned about, you know. Healing her. You _are_ a healer, right?" Deep inside he felt a little nasty satisfaction sink in at the scowl Mical was giving him.

"Yes, I am. And I think she is just resting. Seems like she had some tough days."

"Uh… just to get that right… basically you're telling that she just fainted because of sleep-deprivation?" Mical nodded, obviously not aware of what Atton's reaction would be. "Dear Force, you're one of the densest people I've ever known. You don't need to keep her in med-bay for that. It would be enough to…"

"I think she still needs some monitoring, because she took some serious hits…"

It was Mical's second mistake in just one minute. "Monitoring? More like ogling. And I don't think so, mister. I think it's better to put her in the dormitory, in her own bed which would do her a lot better than that cot. And don't worry about your beauty sleep, pretty boy, I'll volunteer form "monitoring"."

"Yeah, I bet you do.", Mical murmured. He was about to contradict Atton a second time, but the man just got off from his cot and cradled Né's sleeping form in his arms. Without a word he went past Mical and towards the dormitory. The Disciple wanted to follow him, but suddenly all the exhaustion found its way first to his legs and then to his brain, and it took every once of will power to motivate himself to walk to the males' dormitory and fall down on the bed.

_

* * *

_

_Females' Dormitory_

As quiet as possible, Atton made his way into the women's dormitory. Visas and Mira were already sound asleep, and Atton intended to simply put Né into bed and then give himself some well deserved shut-eye but obviously Né had other plans.

When he had put her into bed, he just couldn't resist to planting a kiss on her forehead. Which in turn made her stir a bit and murmur something like: "Don't go." At first he dismissed it as sleep-talking, but when he was about to leave the room, she said a little louder and clearer: "I meant that."

He turned around. Sleepy green eyes under tousled blond hair and over a nose delicately wrinkled in soft indignation gazed at him. She looked adorable. _How could ever I resist that?_ He smiled and walked back to her bed. Crouching down he said: "Never thought differently."

She stuck out her tongue a little and grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "Liar.", but moved to make room for him.

He raised his eyebrow. "Uh… who are you and what have you done to the woman whose face you're wearing?"

She lay down and curled up under the blanket. "Stop talking and just get under that blanket, mister."

His heart beat accelerated several beats per minute. How long had he been fantasizing about her saying just this sentence? And now that she had… why was he acting as coyly as a Coruscanti debutante on her first dance?

"Hey, it's getting cold."

Atton still wasn't moving, which earned him an exasperated sigh. She sat up again and said: "I'll explain everything to you if that's what you want but right now I just want you to come into my bed and hold me. You think you can manage that?"

She quirked an eyebrow and patted the small space beside her. Thoughts were racing through his mind at light speed. _It's the sleep-deprivation. It's the fight. Maybe she got hit on the head. She's offering you a place beside her. In. Her._ Bed _In her goddamn frakking_ bed _Offering. You..._

_Stop that, it's making my head hurt. Now come on, I promise I won't do anything inappropriate._, suddenly her voice sounded in his mind, accompanied by quite an amount of impatience and indignation. And the almighty pull just to get this over with and crawl under her covers, hold her close, fall asleep with her scent in his nose…

He grunted, finally giving in to the desire that had been stirring inside of him since he had entered the room with her in his arms. Though getting settled in was accompanied by the words: "That was the last time you got away with messing with my head, you Jedi vixen."

She propped herself up on his chest and just said with an impish grin: "I wasn't messing. It was all already inside, I bet."

Then she settled in herself, laying her head down on his shoulder and her hand resting on his chest. One of her legs had sneaked its way over his, and he carefully wrapped her in his arms. His last thought before falling asleep was _You have_ no _idea just_ how _right you are, baby._

_

* * *

_

_Females' Dormitory, 16 hours later_

It was quiet in the room, Visas meditating on the floor, Mira playing some solo pazaak on her bed and Né up-dating her journal. The day had been exhausting but somehow fulfilling.

_After about six hours of sleep each, they had gathered in the main hold to discuss the follow up to their current situation. Atton's suggestion had been to leave immediately to the next planet with a hyper space comlink connection to Republic space to inform at least Admiral Onasi of the whole situation, and Mandalore had agreed with him. _

_Bao-Dur though had had spoken with Dillan the night before, as Administrator Adare had been under the first casualties of Atris' attack at Dantooine. She had had told him that Atris had had rendered their power generators useless, beyond repair. Her desperation at not knowing how to keep her people alive since the winter on this side of the planet was approaching fast had moved him and he had suggested to stay at least two days so he could create a new improvisational power generator from parts of the old and spare parts from the _Hawk

_Visas had joined him, adding that they also needed time to investigate what had happened at the Enclave and to track down Atris through the Force. Mira and Mical had said nothing, and in the end everyone had waited for her decision. She hesitated a little, knowing what would ensue once she had voiced her opinion, but knowing it was the right decision she had agreed with Bao-Dur's suggestion. And _of course _it had been Atton who had questioned her decision, arguing hard against it but in the end giving in. _

_Then they had set out to meet with Dillan and Suulru, obviously the temporary leaders of the Khoonda people. They had discussed their suggestions and offers, and after a little hesitation they had agreed. Instantly Bao-Dur and T3 had taken off for the power generators under the Administration building to see what they could still use, and Mical and Mira had gone to the provisional quarters, checking the medical situation of the survivors. _

_That left Mandalore, Atton, Visas and her for exploring the Enclave. The walk had been quiet, and she had sneaked side glances at Atton when she thought he wasn't looking at her. Their little argument in the main hold had bothered her more than she would admit, and she desperately wanted to know if he was still angry with her for siding with Bao-Dur and Visas. _

_Visas had seemed to have noticed it as she had told her in a very soft voice: "I know that you are upset about this morning but you have to focus on your task. I am sure you can set this right when we are done with everything."_

_Né had just nodded and tried to focus on finding out what had happened in the Enclave prior to their arrival. _

_Entering the patio in broad daylight hadn't been nearly as scary as it had had been the night before, but just the memory of what had had occurred there only hours ago had made her shiver involuntarily. They had sent the men off to have a look at that cellar from which the survivors had climbed out after the victory over the Handmaiden. Né then had told Visas about her discovery on Korriban, and they had agreed on meditating to find out how exactly the bodies of the masters had vanished. _

She closed her eyes and leant her head on the wall behind her bed. It had been very easy to tap into the Force and search for what had happened at the patio, with the dark side still strong in the place. And just because of that both Visas and herself had needed all the strength the other could give them to guide them through the vision that had followed.

_In the vision it had been night again, a slight breeze waving through the patio now and then. The only thing disturbing the peaceful scenery had been the Force-empty bodies of Masters Vrook, Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell. Then their ankle changed and they could see Atris and three of her Handmaidens stride in, one of them being the one they had defeated last night. They couldn't hear what was spoken, but they could see Atris raising her right hand to levitate the body of Master Vrook, and the other two Handmaidens doing the same with those of Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell. _

_And then things had become ugly. Suddenly it had felt as if Atris had been looking straight at them, as if she was _knowing _that someone was watching her. Her beautiful face then had contorted itself into a mask of hatred and she had sneered at the two Jedi, saying "I knew you would follow me, Exile. And I know you will follow me again. Well,_ I_ am prepared for making you fall. Are _you_, too?", and with her free hand she had suddenly thrown Force lightening at her._

_Next thing she had known Atton was cradling her in his arms, asking her if everything was okay. The worry in his eyes had been almost overwhelming, and she had just nodded, not trusting herself to be able to speak for a moment. Then Visas had recovered, and she had felt her own strength coming back to her as well. Taking a shaky breath she had used Atton's hand to get up as well. _

"_Well," she had said, "I think it's time to return to Khoonda. There's nothing left her for investigation, and I bet the others need our help. Plus we need to question a few of the survivors how Atris came here and what they had been doing in the cellar."_

She smiled a little.

_After that little episode with the fainting and waking up in Atton's arms, the tension between them had eased a little, and over the course of the day it had disappeared, only to be replaced by a _different _kind of tension. Throughout the day there had been glances, little smiles, casual touching… And neither one had let the other one alone for more than ten minutes. Helping Bao-Dur get the components needed from the _Hawk_, aiding Mical in treating the settlers, questioning some of them with Visas… there was nearly nothing they didn't do together._

She smiled a little more. Yup, they had _definitely_ acted weird today. As if they were afraid of losing the other again. _Well, d'uh, not very surprising now, is it?_ She smirked at the thought, but smiled again when she recalled the warmth that had spread through her every time Atton had smiled at her or squeezed her shoulder or ruffled her hair… or that thing where he had shared a ration bar with her, half feeding her... no, she had time for fantasizing later, she needed to get the journal entry done.

_In the end they had needed ten hours to be halfway done with the new generator, improving the conditions in the provisional quarters and get everyone catered to their needs. But what was more important, they finally had gotten some information on what the settlers were doing in the cellar below the patio. It seemed that after eliminating Khoonda's defenses and killing off most of the soldiers, the Handmaidens had rounded up the survivors – settlers and scavengers alike – and had driven them to the Enclave. From what the survivors had described Visas and she could make out that Atris and the Handmaiden had been feeding off their vital force to strengthen their own Force powers. _

_This discovery nearly had had Né reeling, as it meant that Atris had mastered to learn what she did naturally: forming bounds through the Force and draw strength from those who followed her. Visas, Atton, Mical and even Mira had tried to explain to her that she was different, that she wasn't harming people, that it was just in her nature to form bonds and make people follow her, but she had only felt the strong urge to shut herself up in some dark room and shut off everybody. _

_In the end, Visas and Mira had nearly dragged away a reluctant Mical and had given Atton the space he needed to reason with her alone. But instead of relying on words he had just taken her in his arms, had told her that he wouldn't let any Ice Queen Jedi get to her which had somehow made her smile. That together with the comforting sound of his heart beat and the warmth of his unique scent had driven away these thoughts. At least for the time being._

She shut off the data pad and looked into the round.. "Alright, girls, I'd say time for bed, huh?" Visas turned towards her, only nodding, while Mira brushed the pazaak cards off her bed and headed to the refresher, taking her night clothes with her.

When she was back, the room was dark, and she crawled under her covers. After a short while she suddenly said: "So… you and Atton, huh?" No reply, but she could sense that Né was still wide awake. "Oh come on, I _know_ you're still awake. So?"

A sigh and then an answer: "So… Atton and me _what_?"

Mira could hear the smirk in her friend's voice. "Well… uh…you know. Power couplings and stuff."

"Power couplings, huh?"

"I am sure, Mira, that you already know the answer to your question. I do not think it is necessary to ask it.", Visas chimed in, and Mira thought she could hear a little indignation creeping into her voice.

"Yeah, well, but I want to hear the answer from our fearless leader herself. So? What was he doing in your bed this morning?"

"Uh…" If there ever was a blush that could be actually _heard_ through the dark, it was the one that was obviously creeping now over Né's face. "Well, uh… you know… it's not what you think, girls…"

"Well, how is it then? I must admit, I asked myself the same question that Mira gave you. And I am… most curious about your answer, Master." Visas again, and now she had sided with her. Mira smiled viciously.

"Uh… first of all: stop calling me "Master", Visas. And second thing: I… uh… Argh, that's none of your business anyway.", Né only huffed.

Mira just said: "Okaaay… but we'd still like to know what's going on between you two. Now, in general, I mean. Not the details. Because that would be… _Eww!_ So, spill it, girl."

"I fully agree with Mira."

Silence again. Then: "We… uh… we're closer than before, that's right. But nothing happened between us. I swear. Jedi honor and everything. Not even a kiss. Now, are you satisfied?"

Mira sat up and grinned. "Well, yeah. And if you need those handcuffs we'd been talking about…"

Suddenly a pillow smacked her right into the face, and she squealed. "Handcuffs? What handcuffs?" Now it was Visas's turn to get smacked by a pillow, and it even was her own. And in a matter of seconds, the three of them were engaged in a full blown pillow fight, even Visas shamelessly using the Force to throw around the pillows.

Just as Visas had landed a particularly nasty blow at Né which had made the pillow burst right over her head and littering her with small synthe-feathers, a loud knock sounded at the door. "Oi, are you all decent in there?", shouted Atton's voice.

Mira commented it with "At least one of us has her mind deep in the gutter, I'd say.", which earned her another pillow smack from Né, who in the same moment called Atton in. The door opened, and a clearly disheveled Atton stood in the doorway. _Cute._, was the first word that came to Né's mind, but she just said as innocently as possible: "Uh, something up?"

He raised an eyebrow and switched on the light in the room with a small wave. Collective groans emerged from Mira and Né, and the two of them squinted. His gaze got stuck at Né, who was kneeling on her bed, her face slightly flushed and littered all over with small synthe-feather. _Again: adorable._, he thought but said a little irritated: "You know, there are people on this ship desperately needing their sleep. But with you having a little teenage sleep-over fun, that sleep's really elusive. Now, just take my hint and get to sleep yourself, okay?"

Né wanted to say something, but Mira beat her to it: "Or what?"

He smirked: "Or I'll give you all a good spanking with _my_ pillow. Now good night, ladies." Three pillows from the women and the shout "Old perv!" from both Né and Mira hit the door that he had just managed to close.

* * *

**A/N: **Woohoo! That chapter actually was lot of fun to write. And everyone who thinks it's OOC for Visas to take part in a pillow fight, just think like this: her dark master's gone, she has made her peace with her past, and Kreia - clearly a thread - is gone, too. She has just found her light side Master again, and a hard day is behind her. _And _she _is _a young woman, after all. She just losened up a little. That a deal? And besides, it's fun picturing her throwing pillows around with the Force ;)

Oh yeah, and every one who reads but doesn't review will get hit over the head with a pillow as well. I _will _find you. :tries to look like Darth Sion without looking too ridiculous:

:fails miserably:

Uh, well...

**Jedi-Falen - **Thanks for your review. And please, uh, forgive for me for stealing that idea with "crawling under the covers" from "A Sister's Empathy" (I promise, I'll review it as soon as I'm through with it), but I just couldn't resist. And I hope I changed it enough that it doesn't feel like a plagiat to you.


	7. Chapter Seven: So hollow, Baby

**Chapter Seven: So hollow, Baby**

"_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow."_

_James Blunt, "Goodbye my lover"_

_

* * *

_

_Dantooine, Khoonda Plains_

"How are they doing?", Atton asked gesturing towards the settlers and salvagers who were working on building up new shelters. Né had been helping them five hours straight, coordinating the work, levitating objects, healing small wounds that accompanied the building efforts. Only when Mira had mentioned that she looked "like something a kath hound had dragged in", she had taken a time out. Which was why she was now sitting on a rock nearby and chewing on a ration bar.

She didn't answer him for a moment, waiting till he sat down beside her. "Okay, I think.", she said between two bites from the ration bar. He looked at her. She gave him her profile, with her forehead slightly wrinkled in a frown. The sky above them was gray and heavy with rain, and a strong wind was blowing across the planet's surface. It constantly ruffled her short blond hair, and she was constantly moving her fingers to smooth it down or sweep it out if her face. Just watching her made him want to kiss her senseless right there and then.

But instead he casually asked: "You okay?" She just nodded, still not looking at him. Something was bothering her, that much he could tell. After the little pillow fight episode the night before and the progress they were making on the whole power generator thing and everything he had expected her to be a little more cheerful.

But he had learned that sometimes he needed to wait for her to come to him and tell him what was bothering her. So he tore his gaze away and turned to watch the building efforts instead. In this moment, Mira's laugh drifted over to them, and she was throwing something at Mical. Absentmindedly he wondered when exactly those two had started to get so friendly. Just when he was about to utter the thought aloud, Né beat him to it, saying: "It's me who she wants."

He turned back to her, a little flabbergasted. "Huh? Who?"

She was still not looking at him, even turning a little away from him. "Atris."

Somehow he knew what was coming next. And so he took his time with answering. Then he said: "So… what're we gonna do about it?"

Now she did look at him, and he was surprised to see a hint of guilt and shame reflect in her eyes. "Atton… there won't be a 'we'. Not this time."

"I see."

And that was it. She had expected him to throw a temper-tantrum, just like last time, but nothing came. He just wouldn't look at her again. It bothered her more than a heated reply would have. "Then… then you agree with me, right?"

"The hell I do." His voice was level, and the sentence sounded casual, but she could hear traces of a rage that was kept at bay in the undertones.

"You… you have to understand." He looked at her again, and the sheer amount of conflicting emotions she could see in his eyes made her cringe inwardly. Anger, hurt, desperation, even understanding… it was all in there. And he was radiating it off as well. She wondered briefly if this was his usual throwing up walls of emotions so she wouldn't be able to "mess with his head", but dismissed the thought.

"Maybe. But since when did I do the things I was supposed to do?" Anger and impatience were creeping into his level voice.

"Atton, please. This is different than last time. Running away then was more about running away from myself than finding Revan, but this time…"

"Wasn't it more about running away from _me_?" Bitterness was added into the mix of negative emotions she was getting from him.

"No. It wasn't. But that's just not the point now. The point is…"

"The point is that you're running again. From me. From us. And right into a trap. Dammit, Né, this whole thing practically _screams_ "trap". And you have to run right into it. Again. Just like into that meeting with Visquis. And the duel with Kreia. And Korriban, four days ago. Are you just playing dense or are you really this stupid…"

That was too much. She jumped up, raising her voice. "_No_ one calls _me_ "stupid", mister! I've only followed my instincts, and I've been right about it. And I'm following my instincts _now_!"

Now letting the carefully build up barriers tumble down he jumped up as well, shouting at her. "No! You're acting on some savior-complex. Dammit, woman, we are your _friends_! We won't let her get you. And what exactly had you planned anyway? Don't tell me it's one of these half-baked things you usually come up with."

By now they had attracted quite an audience, but they were already too worked up to care. "More than one of these "half-baked things" have saved _your_ sorry ass. And don't talk to _me_ about "savior-complexes". You just can't stand a woman who can take care of herself. Always need a little damsel in distress to save to keep up that inflated ego of yours."

She was yelling by now, and he wasn't letting her put him in second place. "_My_ inflated ego? Who thought she could take on two fully grown Sith Lords on her own? And who thinks she can take on another one now? You'll never make it."

"I could take care of myself very well, and will take care of myself now just the same." She punctuated every word with her index finger darting towards him.

"You call almost letting yourself be crushed by a mass shadow generator on a dead planet taking care of yourself? You must be more delusional than even Kreia."

Her eyes grew large, and he could see the shock and hurt at his last statement clearly in her eyes. As the full impact of what he just said hit him he felt sick to the bone. But before he could say anything she had turned to flee the whole scene. Shock had routed him firmly to his spot, but suddenly Mira gave him a violent shove brushing past him and chasing after Né.

"Well done, Atton."

He turned around, seeing a clearly angry Mical. "Look…"

"No." The determination and grimness in his voice startled Atton. "No, I won't. And if you've hurt her permanently I promise I will…"

An almost unbearable weariness set in, causing Atton to turn away and say: "Spare me the gruesome details, pretty boy. Go back to play with your toy bricks."

As he started to walk away, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder trying to spin him around. He didn't even bother but just grabbed the hand and used the momentum to swing his assailant on the ground. A now enraged Mical stared back at him, the hand on his light saber. It just earned him a cold stare from Atton together with a "Don't even _think_ about it." With that he finally walked away, right into the open plains. And as if on cue, the rain set in.

* * *

"Stop! Dammit, girl, will you just slow _down_!", Mira shouted at the woman running some meters ahead of her. The rain was blinding her, and her shoes were heavy with water. Not to mention that she felt like she was soaked through to her bones. Sighing she used the Force to speed her up, something she absolutely hated to do because she usually failed to maintain the speed for more than a few meters.

But it was enough to catch up with Né. Panting heavily she almost threw herself at the woman. For a moment Mira felt her struggle against her, but then she stood completely still. Mira turned to face her, holding her friend by her shoulders. "He isn't worth it. Not a bit. If he makes you cry, he isn't worth it.", was all she could say, not even being able to tell if Né was crying at all, what with all the rain running down their faces.

"Then I'm not worth it, either." The quiet admission startled Mira, and in that moment her friend looked just so forlorn that she was unable to do anything else than to hug her.

"Holy shit, sure you are. Or else I wouldn't have followed you to hell and back."

At first Né didn't react, but then she suddenly hugged Mira back, muffling into her shoulder. "I was wrong to say all these things about him. All he did was try to make me stay with him. With you. But I can't. I just _can't_."

"Why? Why d'you have to face that mad Jedi on your own?", Mira asked.

"You are my weakness. Everyone of you. Bringing you with me would endanger you, more than you could ever imagine. I could never allow that."

Somehow it moved Mira greatly that Né was caring that much about her. Hell, it moved her that someone was caring about her _at all_. She had always been a loner, from early childhood on. Yes, there had been flings, business partners, drinking buddies… but never lovers or friends. And now there was someone who was willing to put her life in the line just so she, Mira, wouldn't be in danger. She didn't know how to express all those emotions that were suddenly flowing through her so she just tightened her hold on her friend and tried to project all she was feeling toward her.

"I'm scared, Mira. So very _scared_.", Né admitted between sobs, and it scared _Mira_. She desperately tried to find the right words to comfort her.

"It's okay to be scared. Forget what all those Jedi Masters told you. I bet there was a lot _they_ were scared off. They would just never would let you see it, lest their aura of infallibility should become non-existent."

Né looked up from her shoulder, and a small grinning was sneaking onto her face and she was taking a step out of the embrace. "I guess, you're right." But then she grew somber again. "I will miss you so much. I will miss Bao-Dur and Visas and Mical and even Mandalore."

"And… what about Atton?", Mira tentatively asked.

"I will… I… can't even express… I… But I just _have_ to this. I wish he'd understand."

Mia knew she had now two options: one was to tell Né to forget the jerk and let him wallow in his self-pity forever. The other was to give it one last shot to make him see reason and explain everything to him. She sighed a little. "Look, I still think he acted like a total and utter jerk, but I… don't want you to leave like this. Let me handle this, and I promise you'll get a second chance. In turn you promise me to let us know _immediately_ when you need help. Deal?"

"I… yes. We have a deal. Second chance for me, emergency call for you."

Mira grinned. "And no delays or keeping quiet. You need help, you call."

Né nodded. "I promise."

"Well, then, my friend," Mira put an arm around her friend's shoulders, "let us get our asses into something a little drier than this. 'Cause quite frankly: I look _horribly_ with a red nose and swollen eyes."

* * *

Ebon Hawk_, Cockpit, 3 hours later_

Atton was sitting in the cockpit, staring out of the window where the rain still continued pouring down on the landing pad and the ships. The drops were running down the windows in little streams and rivers, diverging and uniting at random, and the steady beat of the rain was resounding in the ship. Now and then a heavy gust of wind was rushing the raindrops and adding a little force to the pounding.

He was still wearing his wet clothes, and already shivering heavily, even in the comfortable warmth of the cockpit, but he didn't care about it. He knew that he should have changed long ago, and probably perform a Force heal to prevent any traces of a cold spreading threw his system, but he didn't care about that either.

He didn't really care about _anything_ in this moment, as there was only one thought left circling his mind. She was leaving him. Again. Because she didn't consider him worthy enough to fight alongside her. Maybe she didn't even care about if he was worthy or not, and she just didn't want him around her anymore. But then why had she behaved the way like she had the last days? Why had she wanted him to sleep beside her? Why had she flirted with him? Why…

"Time for my watch, flyboy.", suddenly Mira said behind his back, but he was way beyond having a fit because she also had sneaked up to him.

"I didn't realize we even had a watch plan.", he answered and was surprised to hear his teeth chatter. It somewhat dimmed the effect the cold tone otherwise would have had, and so instead of backing away, Mira let herself fall into the co-pilot's seat beside him.

"Well, I made one up. Can't have you sit in here all the time, what with your extensive need of beauty-sleep and everything."

Something in her voice told him she was up to something, and he was in no mood for any of her games. "Just fuck off, will you?"

"Nuh-uh. I'm taking over your watch, if you like it or not. And if I might add, Visas somehow felt that the cargo hold was the right place to meditate today."

Now what the hell was she trying to play at _now_? "Look, I don't care where Visas has set up camp today, okay? Why should I even bother?"

"Well, you know, that means that… there's only one of us girls left in the dormitory." He wanted to say something, but she held up her hand to forestall any derogate remark. "No, I don't want to hear it, and you are going to listen to me now, mister. I shouldn't even be doing this, but I promised her I wouldn't let her have to leave like this. Now, get over yourself and give her and yourself the chance for a proper goodbye."

He knew he shouldn't give in if he wanted to maintain his manly pride. But he also knew that he had said some horrible things to her, and that a second chance was more than he ever deserved. He looked out at the rain again. Then he said: "Alright. But don't complain about not getting any sleep, missy, because you sure won't get into the dormitory tonight."

She grinned as he stood up. Just before he was out of the cockpit, she told him: "You _might_ consider changing first. And maybe perform some of the healing mumbo-jumbo. Can't have you run around the ship sneezing non-stop, now can we? Oh, and I'll even make sure Mical won't be bothering you. That's a big one you're owning me now, Rand."

He said nothing, just went out the cockpit in search of some dry clothes.

* * *

She was sitting on the floor cross-legged, clearly meditating. While changing into something drier, he'd tried to send out mental messages as not to startle her when coming into the dormitory, but she had blocked him. So he could do nothing else than walk right in and gently squeeze her shoulder.

She jumped a little, her face changing from a little confused to suspicious when seeing that it was him who had disturbed her. "I _did_ try to tell you I would be coming, you know.", he just said, and with a wave locked the door behind him shut.

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"Well… let's just say a little birdy told me it was better to use a second chance when you get one. Even if you don't deserve it."

"Are you telling me I don't deserve a second chance to talk to you?" While it was true that she desperately wanted a second chance to tell him why she had to leave, she wasn't going to make it easy for him. That much he _did_ deserve.

"_No_! Force, you're more stubborn than I thought. I was just saying that… uh…"

"_You_ didn't deserve a second chance?"

"Uh, yeah, that's right, I guess." There. He did it again. That cute thing with rubbing his neck and looking down in embarrassment. How could she ever stay strong a little longer if he was looking like this?

She sighed a little. "Will you now listen to my reasons for leaving?"

"Uh, actually I thought…"

"No, Atton. The decision has been made. I talked to the crew, and they don't like it but they understand. But I need _you_ to understand it the most. Let me talk, and actually _listen_ for once, will you? Atton… Kreia has been right about one thing: You are my weakness. All of you. Mira, Visas, Bao-Dur… everyone who's somehow attached to me, and to who _I_ am attached. But most of all _you_."

"_Me_?" Until now he wouldn't have believed it, and even now it was quite hard to grasp.

"Yes, you big oaf. _You_. And Atris knows it. She knows she can get me through you, and that's why you have to stay away from her as far as possible. If you get into her reach… she'd… use you to hurt me, make me weak. You understand that? Being attached to me could get you into serious danger, and that's why I need all of you to stay away from her. I…"

"I'm not letting you go alone."

She sighed again. "Atton, please…"

"No. I understand that she needs to be stopped, and I understand that it's you who has to do it. But I don't think we're so weak that we can't defend ourselves against her. I never thought I'd ever say this but: your friends don't make you weak. They make you strong and I…"

"Not this time. Just not this time. Don't you get it? I'm trying to _protect_ you here. Don't you get that into your thick male skull?" Inwardly she groaned in frustration. This wouldn't lead them anywhere but to the same place they had already been in the afternoon.

"No, I don't get it. Why you have to leave behind the people that make you strong to beat that Ice Queen Jedi is well beyond my reach. But then again, I've never been the brightest one…"

"Dammit, Atton!", she exclaimed, and before he could say anything else, her lips suddenly crashed down on his. There hadn't been any other way to silence him really.

For a moment he seemed to be frozen in shock, but then he melted into her, his arms sneaking around her all by themselves, and his legs helping in drawing her nearer. "Bed," she gasped between the kisses, and he was happy to oblige her.

Together they half crawled, half walked over to her bed, using their hand and the Force to get rid of their clothes in the process. He was trailing hungry kisses along her neck as her robe devolved itself from around her, but she still couldn't fully relax. Softly she took his face in her hands and fixated his gaze on her. He blinked, and his eyes weren't too clouded anymore. "Listen to me before we can't think straight anymore. I need you to promise me you will let me go. I promise I'll come back and I'll even call when I need help, but _please_, let me go."

"You promise? You promise you'll call for help and come back? No dying?"

She nodded. "No dying, neither me nor you. Agreed?"

He nodded, and the hungry look returned to his eyes. Finally she was his, and he wasn't going to waste one second while he still had her.

* * *

His breath was stirring the hairs in the back of her neck softly as he held her close to his body. He was sleeping, and she wished she could lye like this forever. It just felt _right_, like she was a part of him and he a part of her. But she had to go now or she would never be able to go.

Carefully not to disturb him, she lifted the arm he had slung around her waist and got out of the bed. For a moment she stood, admiring the man she had come to love. He was looking peaceful in his sleep, his dark hair tousled and his head cradled in his left arm. She just couldn't withstand the temptation to kiss the small scar on his right brow. The soft contact brought a stirring an a sigh to him, but he stayed asleep, and she got dressed quickly. One last look, and then she grabbed the pack that had been ready and finally exited the room.

It was quiet on the _Hawk_, with her crew asleep. Silently she walked over to T3 who had gone into sleep mode as well and woke him with a pad on his head. "Hey, you in for another solo trip?" The little droid warbled, and actually sounded a little slurred, but he agreed to come with her nonetheless.

At the exit ramp she suddenly jumped a little. "Dear Force, you really scared me, Visas."

The Miraluka slightly bowed. "Forgive me, Master, that was never my intention."

Né huffed a little. "It's okay. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I… did not want to let you go without saying goodbye. I have… come to appreciate your friendship, and I do not want to lose it."

Né smiled a little sadly. "And you won't. I already promised Mira and Atton and the others that I'll come back, and I promise it to you, too. I just have to do this alone."

"Yes, Master. I do understand your reasons, but… please forgive me my insolence, but I still wish I could accompany you."

"Oh, Visas, that's not insolent. It's _normal_. We're friends, it's okay that you feel this way, and I'm happy you do. But… could you do me a favor? Stop calling me "Master". I don't deserve that title, and most of all not from you. You are much more Jedi than I'll ever be."

For a moment Visas seemed speechless, then she said: "I… thank you. But I don't…"

"Yes, you do. Don't you dare not taking the praise. Visas… I need you to teach the others. I need you to teach Mira to improve her healing powers and Mical to shield himself better and Bao-Dur to be a little bit more aggressive…. I'm babbling, huh?"

Visas nodded, a little smile creeping on her face. "Yes, a little. But I understand your request. I will… try my best, though I am nowhere as good a teacher as you are."

"No, that's true. Because you are better." Né raised a hand to forestall any protests from Visas. "Visas… I need you to watch out for Atton. I've noticed changes in him. He… needs someone to guide him."

Visas nodded. "I have seen these changes as well. But I doubt that I am the right one to guide him."

"Yes, you are. You have touched the dark side, and you could still pull away. You know how easy it is to be corrupted by it, and you know how to break away from it. Look out for him, please."

Visas nodded solemnly, although a bit reluctantly. "I will. And now you need to go."

Suddenly the Miraluka Jedi felt herself being hugged by the human Jedi. At first she didn't know how to react, but then she remembered how others of the crew had responded when they had been subject to such an action. She hugged back.

"I'll miss you all so terribly, Vi."

"I know. And I… will miss _you_… Né."

Né tightened her hold for another moment, then let go. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but she pulled herself together and smiled, saying: "Thanks, Vi. For everything." And with that the Miraluka made room for her to leave the _Ebon Hawk_.

* * *

**A/N: **Uh... I've got the bad feeling that this chapter is a little too long, but I felt that all of this needed to be written down as one, and I really didn't want to break it up, so I just hope you still liked it.

**Amme Moto - **My one faithful reviewer ;) One day you'll get awarded a big shiny medal, I promise ;) And thanks that you liked the pillow fight scene. I really wanted to lighten up the mood of the story a little, and I'm really happy that obviously at least one person thinks I did quite well :)


	8. Chapter Eight: She has been here

**Chapter Eight: She has been here**

"_Tracer lighting up the sky.  
It's another families' turn to die.  
A child afraid to even cry out says,  
She has been here."_

_James Blunt, "No Bravery" (slightly altered by the author)_

_

* * *

_

_Nar Shaddaa, Landing Pad_

She was going to be sick. Very, very sick. Where there had been overflowing life at the last time she had been here, there was now destruction and death. The whole planet was radiating it off. But while on Korriban and Malachor V and even Dantooine it had been… fainter, either because the sheer amount of dead beings was lesser or the cause of the deaths was too long ago, but here on Nar Shaddaa the wound was fresh and still wide open. The first thing she did after exiting the _Moon Shadow_ was racing straight back in and just barely reaching the small 'fresher to throw up.

She dry-heaved a little, this time stealing her for the onslaught that would no doubt come back, by trying to shut herself off in the most possible way. At least now she knew that her guess had been accurate. When they had found out that Atris drank from the life energy of other beings to strengthen herself, Coruscant and Nar Shaddaa had been her first guesses as to where Atris would turn next. Seeing that on Coruscant it was more possible to run accidentally run into Jedi, Nar Shaddaa had been the only logical choice. Being nearer to Dantooine and Korriban and equally full of life it was an ideal target for the power hungry Dark Jedi. Né washed her face, then gripped her cape and exited the _Shadow_ again, letting T3 behind to guard her ship.

Yes, Nar Shaddaa had been home to more criminals than in _all_ the rest of the galaxy, but it had also been a place of hope and temporary safety for a lot of innocent people. In all aspects it had been brimming with life and, though a little overtaxing, still delightful. Now it was… nothing but a big grave. At least the part of the planet where she had landed. It had been the same as the last time, but now there had been no one demanding a landing fee or anything from her. Instead there had been corpses along the whole way toward the inner area of the Refugee Landing Pad. Not one of them seemed to bear any marks of physical violence, but they all had a kind of… dark side marking on them.

If she had only wanted to know if Atris had been here, just landing would have sufficed, but she needed to know if there was anything on Nar Shaddaa indicating where Atris had turned next. She doubted it would be Coruscant or any of the Core Worlds or near Core Worlds, but Atris had proven herself more than once now to be a little delusional now and then. She smirked. _"Now and then" is good. More like "always"._

She chose to try her luck at the cantina and the pazaak den, concluding that these usually were the institutions on a planet that were the hardest to destroy. But when she entered the Entertainment Promenade this time, no music or chatter could be heard from either doors. Somehow she knew what she would find behind the doors, but again her curiosity got the better of her. She chose to try the cantina first, trying to steel herself before she finally entered.

But nothing could have prepared her for what she saw next. As the door opened an almost unbearable smell was assaulting her, and she called on her Breath Control almost on instinct. The room before her was littered with corpses, both human and non-human, women, men, even children… she recognized some from the Refugee Sector. That man over there… Geriel, the one she had healed. _Only to be slautered here…_ And there… one of the Twi'Leks who had warned her about Atton. And to her right, Nadaa, Adana's mother…

An unspeakable sadness washed over her, and deep down she could feel that something ugly lifted its head. _Anger_ at what Atris had done to those people, and _hate_ at the woman she once had considered a friend. But she squashed it down immediately. She would not give in. It was what Atris wanted, and she would never give her that kind of satisfaction.

But she wouldn't find anything on her here, either. Just as she was about to turn and leave the room, she heard someone sniffle. She turned, attuning her sense a bit. And yes, now she could feel a small living presence under all the layers of death in the room. She even knew the presence. "Adana… it's me. Come out."

The sniffing stopped for a moment, and the presence seemed a little dimmer. As if she was trying to hide. _How odd._, she absentmindedly thought, using her senses to locate the little girl and moved towards her very slow and careful. "You remember me, don't you? That crazy woman with the orange double-blade who brought you back to your mother? That's me."

She was standing right before the bar, and it felt as if Adana was sitting behind it, still hiding. Now that she was so close, Né could feel her a little clearer, even through the cloaking attempts. It seemed that the girl was trying to decide whether to trust her or not. She tried to help her a little. "You're not sure if you can trust me, right? Well, that's okay. Take your time. But I hope you don't mind if I wait here?" No answer.

Then: "I remember you.", it came tentatively from the other side of the bar. And then the skinny little blond-haired girl came from behind it. She obviously tried to not look around and fixated her gaze totally on the woman before her. And yes, the woman looked just like last time, only this time she wasn't wearing an armor but just some clothes that looked like those the Jedi on the pictures of one of the history books her mother had once given her looked like. And she wasn't carrying a light saber in her hand, either. But other then that… yeah, just like she remembered the woman who had freed her from the squid guy.

The woman smiled, saying: "I knew you would, smart girl that you are." Then she said: "You trust me enough to follow me out of here? 'Cause… that's just not a place a girl should stay in too long."

Adana had been in here so long that she didn't even register the stench anymore, and somehow her child's mind had found a way to block out all the bodies around her, but she felt that the woman before her was feeling… upset and unsettled. She didn't question it as she had always been able to guess how others were feeling, and as she remembered the woman to having done something good to her, she knew she "owed her a favor", as her mother always put it, she decided to comply to the woman's suggestion. "Yes, ma'am."

The woman smiled again. "Very well. And drop the "ma'am". I feel old when you say it."

"Yes, m… how should I call you then?" Nè was a little surprised. For an eleven-year-old girl who just recently had been witness to a slaughter equaling only few, Adana was acting quiet… normal.

"Well… uh… we can worry about the formalities later, now let's just get out of here, huh?" The girl just nodded, tugging along with her. She walked through the corpses without looking right or left and with a determination that told Né that the girl wasn't as hardened as she first had appeared, but she didn't mind. She wanted to be only out of here as fast as possible as well. But then suddenly Adana stopped. Her gaze was glued to one point to Né's left, and within an instant she knew what the girl was staring at. Her mother. Or rather what was left of her.

The body lay there, with the eyes still staring at the ceiling, broken as they were, and the body twisted in an unnatural way.

She wished the child would have the opportunity to say goodbye to her mother, but she also knew that she couldn't let her stay any longer in this room. So she said softly: "Come on, 'Dana, we need to get out of here." and touched by her shoulder. Suddenly the child jerked violently at the touch, slapping her hand away and retreating a few paces. "No."

"'Dana…"

All the unnatural calmness was gone from the girl now, and her presence was pulsating violently. "Don't you _ever_ call me like that again. Only my mother calls me that. And I will _not_ go. I will _not_ leave her."

Né felt the frustration and confusion and fear and downright hate start to build in the child, and she knew she had to do something about it, _fast_. "Adana… I know it hurts. But we have to leave. Your mother… she wouldn't want you to stay here. She would very much want you out of here."

She tried to put her hands on the child's shoulder, but Adana fought her off, even using clumsy and weak Force pushes. "How could _you_ know what my mother wants? I won't leave her. Ever. I have to stay. I can't… I can't…" And the hate was washed away with a heavy stream of tears running down the girl's cheeks and was replaced by a deep pain.

Although being aware of the danger of Adana lashing out again, Né did the only thing that came to her mind: she drew the girl towards her and hugged her. In an instant Adana hugged her back fiercely, clinging to her like she had clung to Atton that evening on Citadel Station only two weeks ago. She stroked the girl's hair and whispered calming nothings to her.

When the sobs gradually began to die down, Né rubbed Adana's back a little and said: "I can't leave you here, but I think there's something we need to do before leaving."

Adana loosened the embrace a little and looked suspiciously at her. "Like what?"

"Like saying goodbye to your mom and give her the possibility to rest in peace."

The girl seemed to think about this seriously, and then nodded solemnly. "Yeah, we can do that."

With that Adana let go of Né and they both walked over to the body. Né took it upon her to close the woman's eyes and shift her around a little so that would lye a little more naturally. When she was done Adana looked at it approvingly and then said a little thoughtfully: "It looks… as if she's sleeping." Nè just nodded, stepping aside to let the child crouch down. Adana took her mother's hand tentatively, and said in a voice that tightened more and more in the process of speaking: "Hey, mom… I'm… I'm so sorry, but I have to leave now. That Jedi woman who came to rescue me from that squid guy… you remember her, don't you? Well, she came here, and she said I need to go. Mom… Believe me, I didn't ever want to leave you, but I think some of that Jedi woman's talk makes sense. Oh Gods, Mom, I'm so gonna miss you…"

Tears started to run down the girl's cheeks again, and Né gently took her hand away from her mother's hand, saying very softly: "Forgive me for taking your child away, Nadaa, but I'm sure you'd say it's the only right thing to do. Rest in peace, and may you be one with the Force."

With that she gently pulled Adana up and finally led the girl out of the room by her hand. When they were outside, she turned for her ship right away, not one moment intending on leaving Adana on the planet. She was surprised at how easily the child let herself being led to the _Moon Shadow_ but she guessed that seeing her mother's body, and finally having to accept her death had left the child in a shell-shocked state. But she would worry about that later, for now she would see that she brought her off the planet as fast as possible.

When she had reached the ship and tugged Adana into the only bed available on the _Shadow_ she strapped herself in again and told T3 to assist her with getting her ship into the air. Just when she had left the planet's atmosphere and was finally free of the oppressing feeling of death and destruction, she decided to do something she had wanted to avoid at any possibility: she sent a message to Atton through the Force.

_

* * *

_

_Dantooine, Provisional Settlement Grounds_

_Whatever you decide to do: Stay clear off Nar Shaddaa at any costs. It's_ not _a pretty sight to see._

Atton's head jerked up and the piece of rock he had been trying to levitate crashed down on the ground, making everyone around him turn towards him. It had been her voice. In his head. Again. And it had been accompanied by… what? He furrowed his brow, unaware of the audience he had attracted. Urgency. Desperation. Sadness. _Terror_. And there had been a picture sent with it. It had been blurry, but there had been…

"What's the matter, lover boy? Gotten some naughty suggestions?", Mira smirked at him.

He blinked and immediately put on a gruff face. "Not funny, Red."

She raised an eyebrow and was about to retort something witty, but the look on his face told her otherwise. He looked downright stressed out. She grew somber at once. "Bad news?"

He nodded. "_Very_ bad news. Get the crew. Emergency meeting in the _Hawk_'s main hold, five minutes."

Well, _that_ was new. Atton acting like a cocky bastard and throwing out orders she knew and could handle (meaning she never took them serious), but Atton acting like a no-nonsense military commander and throwing out orders was certainly a new trait. One she had the feeling she shouldn't mess with. So she just said: "Right. Five minutes.", and dashed off to collect the various crew members that were scattered all over the grounds of the provisional settlement.

Atton hastily excused himself from the group he and Mira had been working with and raced towards the _Ebon Hawk_. Turned out he wasn't the first, seeing that Visas and Mandalore had just arrived there, probably to have a bit of a break away from the commotion of all the rebuilding efforts.

He pointed towards them without even stopping, shouting "You. In the main hold. Immediately." at them. He came to a skittering halt in the main hold and shortly paused there to catch his breath. Visas and Mandalore arrived shortly after, with Mandalore looking positively pissed at getting yelled at and Visas being her usual composed self. The last to arrive was Mira, with Bao-Dur and Mical in tow.

The first one to speak was Mandalore, sounding not pleased at all. "Now would someone _please_ explain what all this commotion's about? If this is nothing more than a meeting to clear up who's been stealing caffa from us, then so help me…"

"No, it isn't.", Atton coldly interrupted him. "It's so absolutely _not_ about caffa…"

"Well, then what _is_ it about? I sense a great disturbance in you.", Visas chimed in.

"I'd have already told you if you hadn't interrupted me, you know?", Atton answered grumpily but still continued, way more serious. "I just got a… message from Né. It said we should stay clear off Nar Shaddaa at any costs. Something… something's happened there, and it seemed it was worse than here."

Mandalore eyed him curiously. "How do you know anyway?"

"There were… feelings accompanying the message. Sadness and desperation and… terror. And there was… a picture." He didn't know why, but he was suddenly very reluctant to continue speaking. Everyone was looking at him, and he was speaking about something that safe Mandalore everyone of them had a better control about than him. Even _Mira_ was better than him at using the Force.

"Why do you hesitate, Atton? Is it too personal?" Good old Visas, ever the perceptive one.

"No, uh… not really. Uh… Never mind." They were already thinking of him as a big-mouthed no-good, there wasn't really any necessity for further fueling their prejudices. "Anyway, she sent a picture with it. It was a bit fussy… looked like the cantina, though. Full of… bodies, I think. _Dead_ bodies. I guess… that's were Atris went after Dantooine and Korriban.", he finished, leaning heavily on the rim of the holotable they were standing around. Speaking about the whole vision seemed to have a greater impact on him than he had anticipated.

It was quiet for a moment, everyone of them trying to process what they had just heard. Mandalore was the first to speak up again. "If it's true what you said then this Atris woman needs to be stopped. And it seems like she is an opponent not even the Exile should take on alone."

Atton nodded. "Oh, I fully agree. But I doubt _she_ would. Believe me, she was _dead_ serious about that going solo thing."

Mical mumbled something like: "Well, yeah. There isn't any other explanation why you were celebrating her goodbye so loud last night."

Just as Atton was about to lash out towards the Disciple, Visas cut in fast enough to stop any brawl before it even began: "I second Atton's opinion. If we were to follow her, we would break her trust. We cannot allow this to happen. I fear we will have to wait for any new messages."

It was Mical's turn to become aggressive now: "So that's what we are going to do? Sit around here and wait for her to be slaughtered by Atris? Or worse: turned to the dark side? Well, that's _not_ what I had in mind…"

"She never said we had to wait here, right?" Everyone looked at Mira, who squirmed a little at the sudden collective interest in her. "She uh… she just said we shouldn't follow her. But she never said we weren't allowed to do a little investigating on our own, right? And well… there has to be someone to tell Onasi about all the stuff, right?"

Atton was the first to see what she was alluding to. "Well, yeah, you're right. We should head to Telos as soon as possible. Tell Onasi what's going on. And do a little investigating in the Ice Queen's former kingdom. Just in case, you know?"

Understanding dawned on the other ones' faces. "Sometimes that Force-comlink-thing doesn't work properly, right?", Mandalore asked in the round, and Visas nodded.

"Yes, sometimes a Jedi is too far away or has to hide herself and her powers or is hindered by someone else… such as… a captor."

Mandalore nodded towards the Miraluka, and continued: "See? The blind lady knows what I was talkin' about. So, let's just assume that Tekal's not able to use those powers to call on any of you, but still needs help… then she wouldn't mind if we could offer her that help even if she didn't call, right?" The others nodded. "Well, then, we should make sure – just in case – that we also know what that Atris is up to and where to find her."

Atton took the thread up from Mandalore. "Well, I agree. And I'd say, we head to Telos ASAP. Bao-Dur?"

The Zabbrak engineer looked up. "Yeah?"

"How far are you with the power generator?"

Bao-Dur smiled with just enough pride to shine through shortly. "Done. It's operational and should run as long as they can bring something more permanent here."

Atton nodded shortly in appreciation and turned to Mical: "How are their medical facilities doing?"

Mical, for once not scowling or snapping at Atton, said: "Considering the circumstances: perfectly. They've got still enough kolto to treat infections and open wounds, and Bao-Dur could fix one of their medical droids. They should do fine until reinforcements arrive."

The next Atton addressed was Mira: "How about the provisional shelters?"

She shrugged. "Okay, I think. They still need to build up some more, but they're few enough they can handle it themselves."

The last one being asked was Mandalore: "And their defense measures?"

The Mandalorian also shrugged. "Fixed some of their turrets and gave them enough mines and grenades to blow up the next Sith ship that shows its ugly nose on the landing pad. Also repaired one or two of the droids, and taught some of them to use the rifles we could spare. They should be able to hold their own for some time, be it against predators or other assailants."

Atton nodded. "Fine. Get yourself some sleep and see if you need anything from the planet. We're leaving tomorrow morning."

As the people filed out of the room he could swear he heard something like "_Now_ you're talking business, Rand.", from Mical, but decided not to act on it.

In the end only Visas was left, again. "What did I do this time?"

Visas just smiled: "Nothing. Or rather: You did everything right. She would be proud of you, you know?"

He tried not to look too smug, instead put on a rather gruff half-smirk. "Well, just don't let that spread too much. Wouldn't want to ruin my rep as a total screw up, now would we?"

* * *

**A/N: **Ladies and gentlebeings, I introduce to you: Adana The Plot Bunny. While I was writing this, she was jumping in there out of nowh... alright, maybe it was _a little_ inspired by Amber Penglass' "Orphic Verboten" (I really hope you don't mind, Amber), which I just happened to read before continuing "Haunted". Seems, I have a _very _strong tendency to get influenced by the things I'm reading while writing something. 

Anyway, I'm surprised myself at what a direction the story is taking, and I fear I may have been wrong in my first A/N. Seems this one is going to take on epic proportions I never intented it to have. Which is very bad since I won't have any internet access for an infinite amount of time by the end of this week. But I promise, I'll not forget about this story. Every time I'm done with new chapters and find a proper internet access I'll update. Now please take all those sharp and heavy objects down, will you :p

**Phoenix - **Well, than... savor the almost daily updates while they are still possible ;) And don't go all Vader on my for not up-dating as often as this from the end of this one, yes? Please? ;)

**Jedi-Falen - **Thank you for not minding, but I just was concerned because a lot of people are very cautious about the whole intellectual property thing (which is their good right, if I might add, although my ultra-left-wing friends would properly crucify me for this :p), and I don't want to offend anyone. All the more thanks for still liking the story :)


	9. Chapter Nine: Don't be a bad girl

**Chapter Nine: Don't be a bad girl**

"_You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do  
And it's breaking my heart in two  
Because I never wanna see you a sad girl  
Don't be a bad girl"_

_Cat Stevens, "Wild World"_

_

* * *

Deep space somewhere between Telos and Nar Shaddaa,_ Moon Shadow's _cockpit_

_She was being herded into the cantina, together with all those other people from the Refugee Sector. It was hard to hold on to her mother's hand in the crowd, but she managed to stay close. She didn't want to be separated from her again, not after the episode with that slimy squid. Through the moving crowd she could catch a glimpse at one of these white haired women who had come down to the Refugee Sector and had started to round up people. _

_They felt… strange. She had felt something like this before, when that Jedi woman had rescued her and brought back to her mom, but those felt… off. They felt similar but not the same. Darker, colder… She shook her head. No point worrying. _

_Suddenly the pushing from the people around slowed down a little, and a voice boomed over their heads: "Filth of Nar Shaddaa, I am Atris, the last Jedi Master, and it is my determination to cleanse this galaxy of scum like you. But I will grant you one last mercy. Your otherwise meaningless and well-deserved deaths will serve a greater purpose. You will help me to gain strength for the further pursuit of my destiny. And now: Make your peace."_

_The people didn't even have enough time to turn around confused and ask their neighbors what this was all about. As soon as this Atris had ended her speech, they suddenly started to cringe and clutch their heads. All around her, people were starting to sink to the floor, screaming and writhing, and as she realized that soon she would be the only one standing, she instinctively started to pretend she was dying, too, and slowly crawled behind the bar where the white-haired women wouldn't be able to see her._

_There she cowered in fear; _I wish I was dead._, the only thought in her head. And the people around her were still screaming…_

Né woke with a start. Screaming, there was someone screaming… She scrambled out of the pilot's seat in blind fear but was brought to her senses when her knees hit the deck plating. Dreaming. She had been dreaming. But what… Screams again, from the passenger compartment. _Adana!_

She scrambled up again, making her way past T3 who was sounding a little confused himself, into the small cabin where she had put Adana. The child was whimpering now, having curled up herself into a tight ball. With a firm, but still gentle touch she shook the girl a little, and she jerked awake.

For a moment Adana was looking at her with sheer terror in her eyes, but when she realized that she wasn't asleep anymore, she relaxed a little, though still panting heavily. "I was back. She killed them all. They were screaming…", the girl started to ramble on, but Né cautiously put an arm around the child's shoulders and drew her towards her. In a comforting voice she said: "It's okay. You're safe here. They won't get you."

Adana said nothing, just turned to her and buried her face in her robe, sobbing quietly. Né just stroked her hair and held her close. But already her mind was working again. She was almost 100 per cent sure that she and Adana had had exactly the same dream. On the planet she also had felt the child's – most probably unconscious – use of the Force. What in the galaxy was she going to do with a Force sensitive child when she was supposed to be chasing a mad Dark Jedi? She needed to get her somewhere safe, but that would mean losing time…

"You… you'll keep them away, right? You'll not leave me, right?" Adana looked up at her, pleading and hope shining in her eyes. How in the stars had she…?

"Adana… I… need to take that woman from your dream – Atris – down. And I could never take you with me. You wouldn't be safe…"

"I'm not a kid anymore. Really. Mom always said I was… I was… very mature." _Oh great, the kid's starting to pout. Very mature, indeed._

"And I bet she was right. But this isn't about being mature. It's about danger, it's about…"

"I grew up in the Refugee Sector. I _know_ danger.", Adana told her in a tone matching that of an adult explaining something to a child. A very _stupid_ child. Né sighed. She had never been good with children, but she really needed to find a way of getting her somewhere sound and safe. Somewhere far away from death and with a lot of security… _Telos!_ That was it, she had to return to Telos, give Adana to the capable hands of Carth Onasi or any other Republic officer and then catch Atris before she chose Telos as her next target. _Now_ that's _a clever plan…_

"Not the kind of danger I'm talking about. Trust me."

The kid looked at her suspiciously, crossing her arms in front of her. "How can I trust you when I don't even know your name?"

Well, she certainly had a point here. "Errr… right. Sorry. I… I'm Neeneá Tekal, but people usually call me Né."

Adana uncrossed her arms and put her knees to her face. "Alright. But I still don't see why I can't come with you."

Né rubbed her forehead. Time was of the essence, and she didn't have much left. "Look, Adana… you've seen what Atris did to all those people on Nar Shaddaa. _That's_ the kind of danger I'm speaking of. And _that's_ the reason why I can't anyone but T3 allow to come with me."

"Well… it surely didn't kill _me_.", Adana remarked and with that threw Né completely off-balance. Great. Now she had to explain to a kid which might be the only survivor of a Force-drain massacre why she wasn't fit to accompany her on the hunt for the woman who had been responsible for that massacre.

"Look… it was pure luck you survived. I've fought this woman before, and I've seen what she did on other planets… Trust me, you don't want to be there when the shit hits the fan."

"Mom told me using those kind of words is not the way of a lady. And besides: you're lying." _Dammit, how she'd do that?_ And now she would have to watch her mental and emotional shields as well. This was getting better and better.

"First: I'm not a lady anyway. And second: no, I'm not." _Well, not completely, anyway._ "Adana, it _was_ pure luck. Atris is getting stronger with every planet she's "visiting", and she isn't alone. Those girls with white hair you saw? The least of my worries. You're a smart girl, you know about the Sith, right?"

Adana nodded, very serious. Né continued: "Well, the most powerful of them were buried on a planet named Korriban. And they were _so_ powerful that they remained as evil ghosts in their tombs. And Atris did something terrible. She went to Korriban and broke into three of the tombs and gave those spirits new bodies. _This_ is what I have to fight. You still want to come along for the ride?"

The child had grown very quiet during her little story, and for a moment Né was sorry to have her burdened with such a knowledge. This was so not a bedside-story, but saying the truth seemed the only possible thing to do for her. Plus, Adana had already seen something that could hardly be topped at its cruelty and terror.

"But were are you going to put me? I don't want to go to another Refugee Camp, _never_ again."

Né smiled a little and stroked the child's hair again. "And you won't have to. You ever heard of a place like Telos?"

"My mom said we were from there. And she also said the planet was destroyed totally. I don't want…"

This was interesting news. Admiral Onasi was from that world as well. Maybe he'd be a little better to persuade to take the child when he knew what planet her mother was from. "Don't worry, Addy, it's changed. The Republic started to rebuild it, and they are doing a wonderful job. I know someone who'd be very happy to find a new family for you or even take you himself. I know it's hard, but please trust me: I'd never leave you somewhere where I'm not 100 per cent sure they will treat you in the best way possible." To emphasize her point, she sent out a wave of warmth and caring and love to the child.

She was surprised to find her responding immediately with tentative small waves of trust. It was this moment where she realized she had already formed one of those damned bonds with Adana. Another one who was bonded to her, chained to her. Another one she would eventually use and drain. _Dammit._

"You okay?" Concern crept into Adana's voice, probably because she had been feeling her distress through the bond. Né tried to pull herself together, putting on a fake smile. "Yeah, sure. Just zoned out for a moment. So… what do you say? You want me to bring you to Telos?"

"Well… yeah. I mean… I don't have much of a choice anyway, huh?" Né's smile turned into a genuine one as she squeezed Adana's shoulders.

"You always have a choice. And you made a right one, smart girl that you are. Now, go back to sleep, I'll wake you shortly before we reach, Telos. And if there's anything you need… just scream, huh?"

"Sure.", Adana murmured and went to lie down again, while Né went back to the cockpit, setting a course for Telos. The _Shadow_ was small, but she had a state of the art hyper drive, faster even than the _Hawk_. They would arrive at Telos in three hours, leaving Né a lot of time to think about the recent developments.

_

* * *

Citadel Station, Admiral Onasi's office_

"Admiral, there's a visitor for you." His heart lurched for a moment but he forced himself to take in a deep breath and steady himself. If Revan was back, she would certainly make a different entrance than showing up at his office and ask politely if he had a spare moment to see her.

"Who is it and what does he want?", he asked back.

"Atton Rand, sir, saying he has a "very important message" for you.", his personal assistant said. _Another member of This Year's Galaxy Saviors_, Onasi thought sarcastically. Not that he didn't somehow like the ragtag band that was the _Ebon Hawk_'s current crew, but every time one of them showed up at his doorstep meant trouble for him. Just like one day ago, for example.

But they usually also were reliable source of information, and so he finally said: "Show him in, please."

His personal assistant acknowledged, and a second later the door to his office went open, revealing indeed Atton Rand. Onasi motioned for him to come in, and the younger man obeyed, sitting down before him. He looked troubled, Onasi noticed. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, and his hair was even messier than usual. He leant back in the seat before him, but the usual easy air was missing. Instead the man seemed darker, more like a soldier than a scoundrel.

Onasi raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me there's been another planet "visited" by Atris."

Atton frowned in surprise. "'Another planet'? Of how many planets do you already know?"

Now it was Onasi's turn to look surprised. "Well, Korriban, Dantooine and Nar Shaddaa. Of how many do _you_ know?"

Instead of answering the question, Atton just said: "She's been here, hasn't she?" This was getting stranger with every minute. Hadn't she said she would leave the reporting to him and the others? Didn't she want to go chasing Atris right away?

"If you mean General Tekal, then yes, she's been here."

Onasi was surprised at the obvious change going on in Rand. An almost feverish glint appeared in his eyes as he leant forward. "When? How long? She still around? What did she want?", the man shot questions at him, all the time transmitting some kind of desperate hope with them. _If I didn't know better I'd say that's me shortly after Revan's leaving sitting right across from me._, Onasi thought. He sighed a little.

"Yesterday, only for a couple of hours. Slept a little, brought some information and… something else with her. Or rather some_one_ else."

Atton had gotten a grip on himself, calming himself through dipping into the Force, and was leaning back in his chair again. "Someone? Who?"

Before Onasi could answer, the speaker on his desk sounded again. "Yes?"

"Sir, it's Adana again. Says she needs to come into your office _immediately_.", the slightly unnerved voice of his personal assistant floated into the room. Onasi frowned. Now _that_ was an odd coincidence.

"Show her in.", he simply said, and when the door opened this time it revealed a blond eleven-year-old girl with a serious expression on her face. He smiled at her. "Come in. I was just about calling you anyway."

The girl came nearer, eyeing Atton a little suspiciously. Then, suddenly, her face lit up as if in recognition. "Hey, I know you. You've been the one Né's been seeing in her sleep."

"Adana, I don't think it's very polite to address a guest like this.", Onasi said with a stern face.

The girl blushed furiously and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Right. I'm sorry, Carth. And I'm sorry… Atton?"

The bewildered look on Atton's face as she addressed him was priceless, and Onasi had to keep himself from laughing out loud. "Uh, yeah, it's okay… who are you anyway?", he stuttered, but before she could answer, added: "No, wait, I know who you are. You're that girl from Nar Shaddaa, right? The one we rescued from Visquis."

She nodded, still somewhat averting his gaze. Force, what he had done now? "How come you're… she took you with her, right?"

The girl nodded again, but before he could ask her what exactly had happened he was cut short by Onasi. "I think you should leave that for later. For now I think it's enough that you got to see Adana. I'm sure there's at least one member of your crew who'd be very interested in her."

It was clear by the look on her face that Adana didn't approve of him talking of her like she wasn't in the room. He would apologize for that later, but for now he needed to send her out of the room again. "Adana?" She nodded. "Would you go back to the quarters, please? I'm going to pick you up to show you something later, okay?" For a moment it looked as if she was going to put up one of these battles of wills they had been experiencing already but she just got up from her seat and walked out of the door.

Once the door had closed behind her, Atton let go of his restraint and needled Onasi with questions: "What the hell was _that_ about? How in the Force did Né happen to bring that girl here? And what was that comment with "one of my crew being interested in her" about?"

Onasi held up his hand to stop the ranting of the younger man and answered each of his questions as best as he could. "Adana seems to be the only survivor of a terrible massacre on Nar Shaddaa. General Tekal told me that the people were most probably killed because Atris… drained their life force to make herself stronger. Seems like that kid is Force sensitive and was somehow able to make herself invisible in the Force. To Atris she just didn't exist, so she didn't touch her life force. Don't look at me like this, I'm just retelling what the General told me. She also asked me to find a family for the girl where she could come to rest and be safe, and she told me if you did chose to come here I should ask you to have Visas examine the girl, maybe even train her little. Oh, and she gave me those."

He handed Atton a pack of data cards which he eyed suspiciously. "What's that?"

Onasi shrugged. "Dunno, she just said I should give you those, and you should read them if you had a moment for yourself. There are names on them, and I guess there's one for everyone of you."

Atton nodded. But there was still the matter of Adana needing to be dealt with. "Admiral… we don't have any time for examining her or training her. We only came here to tell you news you obviously already know and do some investigations on the planet. When we're done we'll… try to locate Atris and help Né. The _Hawk_ isn't the place you're looking for."

Onasi's brow furrowed. "Oh, but the General told me she was going alone after Atris. She specifically told me you were in no way to interfere with the whole thing. You aren't telling me you're disobeying her orders, are you?"

_Dammit._ "Uh… no. We're just… interpreting them a little different than you. She just said we shouldn't follow her. And we're not. We won't go to Nar Shaddaa, and every other planet she tells us not to go to, but she never said we weren't allowed to do a little looking around for ourselves." _Oh look, there_ is _a brain inside your head after all, Rand._

"I don't like this. And she's going to _kill_ me. But if I'm judging you right there won't be any way I was able to stop you, right?" Atton just nodded, already knowing he had won. "But on one condition." _Alright, so maybe not so soon._ "You stay here for at least a couple of days, and Visas has a look at Adana. I have _no_ idea where to put her, so she's going to stay with me for the time being, and I'd really like to know what possible havoc a Force sensitive child could wreak on my life. Well, _another_ one, I mean."

Atton held back a smirk. As far as he knew, Onasi was in his 40ties, and he didn't seem like the type of guy who had had a lot of experience with children, let alone Force sensitive ones. Hearing at least a partial admission that the Admiral was a father of sorts, and of a Force sensitive at that, did change the perspective Atton had had on the man a little.

"Well, what do you say, Rand?", Onasi said with one eyebrow raised.

Atton shrugged, knowing they had to refuel and restock the _Hawk_ and most probably had to talk about the Admiral about some things regarding Dantooine anway. "Agreed. But I bet, you'll be happy to see us gone once we're done her."

With that he stood up, as did the Admiral and they shook hands. "Always a pleasure doing business with you, Rand.", Onasi said half-sarcastically while Atton just smirked.

* * *

**A/N: **Now, that was fast one. Anyway, not much to say, apart from maybe that you should get used to Adana because she somehow wormed her way into the story, and now I'm stuck with her. I hope you like her. Oh, and I hope you liked my version of Carth. I never got to play KotOR 1, so I never got to experience him first hand. Just don't do anything violent to me for him being possibly OOC ;)

**Amme Moto - **Well, during the game I was kinda unnerved by Visas calling me Master since I always _did _feel she deserved that title more than me. So in that case my Exile _is _a kind of Mary Sue, but as someone remarked on another fanfiction-site: the POV of the game makes it nearly inevitable that the Exile becomes a kind of alter ego for her or his player - well, that or the other way around ;)

**Kathleen - **Actually I somehow liked Visas during the game, and I thought that once the Exile was gone, the crew needed some kind of... spiritual anchor, what with so many Force sensitives among them. Given the fact that Visas is the one with the deepest understanding of the Force in the remaining crew it was a natural choice to make her that anchor. I actually enjoy writing her very much.


	10. Chapter Ten: Chained to you

**Chapter Ten: Chained to you**

"_I feel the magic all around you  
It's bringing me to my knees  
Like a wannabe  
I've got to be chained to you."_

_Savage Garden, "Chained to you"_

_

* * *

Hyper Space, on the way to Yavin IV_

She smirked. It had been way too easy, finding out where Atris was hiding. Alright, so she hadn't found out, Atris had revealed herself shortly after she had left Citadel Station. She had invaded her thoughts, forcing herself into her mind. Né curled up in the seat and closed her eyes, remembering the intrusion.

_She had been on her way out of the system, heading for Coruscant to find out more about Force drains and warn the small Jedi community that still existed there. Then, out of nowhere, Atris' disembodied voice had sounded through her mind._ So you've been on Nar Shaddaa?

_Né had raised her eyebrow, smirking a little. The voice clearly had had an insane edge to it_. Uh, yeah. And what's it to you?

Oh, it just means that you now know what I'm capable of.

_The arrogance and conceit that had carried over to her with the voice had made her cringe a little. But she tried not to be intimidated by it. _Yeah, well, if you just wanted to brag a little, then why make the efforts of calling me?

Because, _and the tone Atris had used here, had chilled her to the bone._, I will continue visiting planets like this until I have you. So… it is either you or millions of other beings.

_She had sworn under her breath at this. Yes, the whole thing_ had _been a trap all along. She could just hear Atton's voice in her head, saying: "See? I_ told _you." But what choice did she have, anyway? From the beginning of this whole story, it had had been clear that at one point she would have to make a choice. But she wouldn't give Atris the satisfaction of giving in right along._

Well, what do you want from me anyway?

_A little laugh had drifted through her mind._ Very simple: What I and my handmaidens and even my… associates had to learn in long hours, you master naturally and with ease. You will be our key to power. Through you and those bonds you form so easily with others we will rule the galaxy. So, either you sacrifice your sorry little hide or more and more planets will fall to us. It's all in your choice.

_She had leant back then, her eyes closed. It had been like chosing between the Kuat Plague and the Sernpidal cholera. If she chose to consent to Atris' will, then she would be used as a kind of a psychic through which Atris would channel all the lifeforce she could get. Or, worse, would try to turn her and use the bonds she had had already created to turn those connected to her. And those connect with_ them.

_But if she withstood and turned down the offer, another planet would be scourged. And after that, another. And so on… Until Atris had her consent nevertheless._ Such an irony., _she had thought. In the end it would all come down to her, Exiled Jedi, "wound in the Force" and savior against her will. _

Yes, we should have killed you, shouldn't we, _Atris' mocking voice had drifted into her thoughts, making her snort._

Yeah, maybe. But not because I was a danger to the galaxy, but I was a danger to _you_. Take me all you want, but know one thing: I'll be your death. Yours and that of all those associated with you. _She had known then, that she had been walking very near to the path of the Dark Side, but she hadn't cared. She hadn't been threatening Atris with revenge, she had only been telling her what she deserved._

_An insane laugh had cut into her._ Oh, I knew you would see reason after all. Your tendency to sacrifice yourself for "the greater good" has always been your greatest weakness. Set your course for Yavin IV, we will await you there. _And that had been it. _

She kicked her console in a sudden bout of frustration. How could she have been so _stupid_? Right walking into the rancor's den, _that_ was surely the way to go. But it had been the only possible choice. Yes, she was endangering herself to fall to the Dark Side by bowing to Atris. And yes, with that she was also endangering those bound to her through the Force to fall. But she just couldn't bear the thought of planets after planets being bereft of life just because she was stubborn. And so her choice had been made. She just hoped she hadn't made the biggest mistake in her life.

As if to underline the dramatics of the moment, suddenly the ship jumped out of hyper space and the orange glow of Yavin was filling her viewport.

_

* * *

Citadel Station, Accommodation Module_

"Let me get this right: You agreed to stay here – and with that losing a _mighty_ load of time – just to have Visas meet some girl Né picked up on Nar Shaddaa?" Mira was _not_ looking happy. Actually, she looked more like she was going to beat him into next year.

"Uh, basically, yes.", he said, rubbing his neck with his hand, while taking a step back from her. He could swear, she was already fingering her light saber.

"And just _what_ is so important about a little Refugee Sector gizka that an _admiral_ wants Visas to "have a look at her", huh?" Atton would never admit it but he _did_ feel a little insulted himself by the words "Refugee Sector gizka", but it was no use telling Mira that, and it was beside the point anyway.

"She's Force sensitive. Oh, don't look at me like this. Six out of seven people Né picked up turned out to be Force sensitive. The odds were high that this one was Force sensitive, too."

"But she's not going to stay with us, right?" Was that weariness he could detect in her voice?

"Force, no! I'll make sure of that, believe me. No way Onasi's going to get a chance and dump her with us. I've got enough to do with you lot already.", he said and smirked, ducking just in time for the datapad Mira had thrown at him to miss him. With a squeal she ran out of the apartment when he was about to follow her to get back at her. But before he could reach her, Mical appeared in the door way, efficiently blocking Mira from Atton.

"Tsk, tsk, Né's gone for… what? One week, and you are already after another woman?" The tone was playful, but Atton could see the veiled threat in Mical's eyes.

He narrowed his, but before he could say anything, Mira jabbed Mical on the shoulder from behind. "Jeez, don't get all worked up, Mical. It was me who started it."

The Disciple turned toward her. "Nevertheless I wouldn't let myself be touched by him if I were you. You don't know where those nifty fingers end up…"

"Don't confuse your own fantasies with reality, will you? I mean, thanks for the visuals and everything…"

Atton's face contorted into a mask of disgust, which prompted Mical to sneer back: "At least I don't make a fool of myself for playing a leader no one wants."

Just as Atton was about to get a little more aggressive, Mira piped up again: "Alright, guys, that's enough. Shut down of your testosterone levels begins _now_. You can have that male version of a cat fight once we've gotten rid ourselves of that Jedi Ice Queen. Now pump your energy into something a little more useful, huh?"

Both men looked at her a little flabbergasted. "_What? _You behaved like two male bomas at the height of the breeding season. And neither me nor Né are female bomas. You should have seen yourselves, making fools out of you. Really, there were only the grunts missing."

She shook her head, but just as Mical was about to retort something, Admiral Onasi's voice drifted over from the entrance of their apartment complex. "Whatever you wanted to say, I'd advise you not to argued with a woman, and a Force sensitive at that. Took some painful experiences for me to learn _that_."

Three heads turned into his direction, and they were surprised to find him accompanied by a blond girl of about eleven years. "Ah, the Refugee Sector gizka.", Mira muttered under her breath, which the girl in question answered with a dark look. _Note for future reference: kid's got good ears. Must remember that._, she thought a little sardonically.

"Well, I brought Adana, where's Visas?"

Atton smirked. "Ever the admiral, aren't we? Well, does anyone know where Visas went?"

Micl raised a hand. "I know it. I'll go fetch her." It took all of Atton's will power not to give the Disciple a pat on the head and utter the words "Good boy." Instead he concentrated his attention on the remaining persons.

"Well, now, that that's taken care of, I can return to my other duties. Be a good girl, Adana." With that Onasi gave Adana's shoulder a squeeze, and the girl nodded. To the others, the admiral just said: "Don't spoil her too much, will you?", winked and left.

For a moment the child and the two adults regarded each other with suspicious curiosity. Then Adana spoke up, saying: "I heard that comment with the Refugee Sector gizka, bounty hunter mynock."

"Good grief, didn't they teach you better insults in that Refugee Camp?", Mira snapped, while Atton raised an eyebrow.

"At least they taught me that selling people makes you a bad person.", Adana shot back, but before Mira could say anything, Atton felt compelled to intervene.

"Uh, girls, postpone that cat fight until we have solved our other issues. Such as ridding the galaxy of one obnoxious Jedi Ice Queen. Don't you agree, Mira?"

Instead of saying something she stuck out her tongue. "My mom says... used to say that this is improper for a lady.", Adana said with her chin raised into Mira's direction. Just as the bounty hunter was about to retort something, Visas walked in, gracefully and silently as ever.

They all grew quiet at once, as if Visas' presence had a calming effect on them. The Miraluka went straight towards Adana who in turn edged a little away, regarding Mira with suspicious looks. "Do not fear me, young one. I will not harm you.", Visas tried to soothe the girl, but she only turned toward Atton, saying: "Who's that, and what's she got to do with me?"

"Uh… you know, it's not very polite not ask people this to their faces. Maybe you should ask Visas yourself?", he offered her, and was surprised that the girl followed his hint and turned back to Visas.

"Who are you, and what are you going to do to me?" _Well, that was very… direct._, he only thought, admiring Visas who stayed perfectly calm.

"I am Visas, and I am here on the request of Admiral Onasi. He told me you were… special, and he wanted to know how much."

Adana still didn't seem to be very satisfied. "And you're going to test me… how?"

The Miraluka smiled at the child. "Not test you. Just look at you. You would be surprised if you knew how much you can find out about a person by actually _looking_ at them." Atton wasn't quite sure if Adana had understood what Visas had meant with "_looking_", and yes, of course she had to ask.

"Looking? Your eyes are behind that piece of cloth. How can you see anything like this?" Adana still looked suspicious, but her curiosity was obviously taking over since she had edged a little closer to the strange woman before her.

"Oh, I do not need my eyes to see. I see with the Force. With that I can see far more than only with my eyes. As I told you would be very surprised at how much."

"I wonder how she can stay so calm. I'd have the little gizka spaced long time ago for that kind of interrogation.", Mira whispered to Atton, but even that the child had obviously heard as she turned back towards the bounty hunter.

"I heard that. Stop saying those things behind my back, it's rude."

Before Mira could say anything, Visas beat her to it, saying: "Do not chastise Mira for faults that are clearly your own, too. And please concentrate on me. It will only take a few minutes, I promise."

Pouting a little Adana obeyed Visas and turned back, looking a little uncomfortable as Visas was staying silent for some minutes. Then the strange woman smiled that strange smile – it looked like she had discovered a great secret no one had known of before, and that unnerved the very curious Adana – and said: "Ah, it is as Né has already discovered. You are strong in the Force, child. But…" – her face grew sad, and that scared Adana, because it now looked as if Visas had discovered something about her that was pretty bad – "I sense great impatience in you. And fear. And hate. I fear you are in danger if not trained properly."

What was this woman talking about? Strong in the Force? Hate? Trained properly? What did that mean? "Ah, now I sense your discomfort and your confusion. Do not worry, young one, I will explain all to you. Do you mind if we have this conversation somewhere a little quieter?" Overwhelmed by all the strange talking, Adana just nodded her head.

"Very well, then. Atton, Mira would you excuse us? I think it would be best if you let me take Adana with me to the _Ebon Hawk_. One of you should tell the admiral, lest he could worry about Adana." With that Visas took the bewildered Adana by her hand and led her out of the room, leaving two very confused crew mates behind.

For a moment they were both gaping at the door that had closed behind Visas and Adana, but then they turned to each other to burst out with "You go!" at exactly the same time.

* * *

**A/N: **Whoa, _finally_ a new chapter. I mean, not that it took me so long to write it, but I moved on the first october weekend, and I started in a new job (at the moment I have to search an office for me... argh...) and only have a provisional office and of course no internet connection whatsoever in my new flat. I hope you understand the difficulties that led to the amount of time I let you starve without an update.

**Vratix - **Thank you for telling me about Carth's portrayal. And with the Force sensitive child I was merely referring to his son, Dustil. For now I'll concentrate more on Adana and the KotOR 2 crew, I hope that's okay for you.


	11. Chapter 11: So you think you can tell

**Chapter Eleven: So you think you can tell**

"_So, so you think you can tell  
Heaven from Hell,  
Blue skies from pain.  
Can you tell a green field  
From a cold steel rail?  
A smile from a veil?  
Do you think you can tell?"_

_Pink Floyd, "Wish you were here"_

_

* * *

Yavin IV, Sith Temple Remains_

"So I see you again. Finally." Atris' face broke into a terrifying smile. "And I am _delighted_, Exile."

"I do have a name, you know.", the woman before her said, trying to sound casual. But it came out as a groan. Which was not very surprising, since she was bent on her knees, with her hands bound to a cane on her shoulders. It also made it impossible for her to look Atris in the eye, but that wasn't necessary. She could feel the disdain and hate radiating from her perfectly well.

"Oh yes, I know. But that name belonged to a friend of mine. _You_ are not a friend. You are a traitor. A liar. You are not worthy of any other name than _Exile_." A drop hit the ground before Né. Atris had obviously sunken so low that she wasn't above spitting anymore. _How fortunate._, Né thought with an inner smirk. That made it easier for her to snap back at the woman she had once considered a very close friend.

"And you have taken all the trouble upon you to tell me _that_? Really, a simple hyper commlink message would have done the trick.", Né said and dared to add a "Tsk, tsk.". Atris' answer was nothing short of a Force choke, but Né managed to counter with a skilled Breath Control, even though she had felt suffocated all along by the dark energies that had penetrated the whole complex. When Atris seemed to have enough revenge for her insolence for now, the invisible hold on her throat vanished.

Instead Atris chose to talk. "Here I was about to offer you a way out of your miserable existence, and all you do is pay me insults. You claim to be no Jedi, yet you bear their insufferable arrogance all along."

"Right back at you, Atris.", Né snapped and was presented with another punishment this time: Force lightening, in a dose high enough to hurt severely but low enough to be non-lethal. _You've always been a fast learner, Atris._, Né thought, but tried to keep her mind shielded from the Dark Jedi, but it became harder and harder. She would never admit it, but Né felt her strength slipping through her fingers.

Since her arrival at Yavin IV, she had been tied up like a package, beaten several times, been threatened to be raped another several times, not to mention the occasional Force chokes, Force lightening and whatever else opportunities of non-lethal torturing methods the Dark Side had to offer. Or so she thought. There wasn't much left of the Jedi that had left her crew on Dantooine. Somehow she was just happy, Atton and the others couldn't see her like this.

"Oh, the murderer that accompanied you… and the Miraluka. And the huntress… my, my, you haven't lost your touch since your time with Revan. Still a natural leader through and through. And attracting Force sensitives toward you like kinraths that flock to the light." Squeezing her eyes shut, Né desperately tried to shield her thoughts from Atris' prying. The last thing she wanted was Atris finding her one true weakness.

"Oh, I will come to them later. For the time being we will take care of _you_. You wanted to know why I summoned you here, didn't you? Well, I'll show you."

More feeling than seeing it Né noticed Atris making a grant gesture towards the portal behind her, and the creaking noises told her that it was opened. Then the sound of three powerful steps echoed through the hall. But what was more important: the dark aura Né had felt on Korriban suddenly had tripled, and she knew to whom these footsteps belonged: the three Sith ghosts that had taken over the three masters' bodies. She shuddered involuntarily.

"These are my _faithful_ companions who will aid me in my quest to purge the galaxy of everything rotten and dirty. And _these_…" Another set of footsteps echoed through the room, a lot lighter and agile than the first. "are my _faithful_ servants who have already assisted me in my first harvests."

"_Harvests_? Atris, you've sunken so low that even bantha droppings are above you.", Né stated coldly. Yes, Atris had always been a little detached from the galaxy outside the Jedi enclaves on Dantooine and Coruscant, but more in scholarly way of life. She'd been living in her archives, perfectly content with tending to the holocrons and studying the past. But she had _never_ before let herself so down as to call the slaughtering of billions of beings a "harvest". Né had to admit that up to know she still somehow had had the hope that Atris was just misguided, and could turn her back on everything with a little persuasion, but the deep rooted friendship toward the woman had clouded her judgment. The combined Force lightening from four powerful Sith collided with her body, and she jerked, too paralyzed to cry out.

"I will manage what the council could never achieve: I will teach you obedience, Exile. And when I'm done with you, you will be my finest weapon. What an irony that the bodies of Kavar, Vrook and Zez-Kai Ell will be the ones helping me with it." A piercing laugh penetrated the air on the room and echoed from the walls, multiplying itself until it sounded like a whole cacophony of shrieking sounds. Atris turned her back and motioned for the Sith Lords and her Handmaidens to come behind her, leaving behind a panting Né.

_

* * *

Telos, Atris' former stronghold_

"What exactly are we looking for again?"

The mocking in Mical's voice was impossible to miss, but Atton chose to ignore it after a quick glance from Mira. "We are looking for any hints as to where Atris might be hiding. That should be simple even for _you_."

"And you are trying to find this out exactly _how_?" _Why can't pretty boy just listen for once?_

"Look, I already told you. We find a security console, me or Mira hack into it, we download as much data as we can, we analyze it on the _Hawk_. Should be a piece of ryshcate, really." Atton's tone matched that of an adult explaining something to a child, and it already had an edge of impatience to it. Mira was sure that he wasn't very far away from exploding again and somehow hoped they would have to take their time, because getting done fast meant getting back to being cramped with those two on the _Ebon Hawk_ for an infinite amount of time. And Mira knew _a lot_ more ways to pass her time pleasantly.

She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, and that's exactly why flyboy, Mandalore and me are going and you, Bao-Dur and Visas stay on the ship. Now, let's move it, huh?" Grudgingly Mical obeyed her, throwing Atton one last dark look. The pilot only smirked and gestured for Mira and Mandalore to follow him.

And then everything around him exploded in a cloud of white hot pain. Clutching his head he went down to the ground, oblivious of the fact that Mical and Mira were gasping, too. A woman was crying out, and he was enveloped in the searing pain that only Force lightning could cause, and he thought he was going to be trapped in it forever, but as suddenly as it had begun it was over again.

Blinking, Atton found himself sitting on the ground and panting. Mira and Disciple were standing, but panting, too, although not as heavy as he was. "What the…", Mandalore uttered but was interrupted by a cry that was suddenly piercing through the chilly quiet of the hangar bay. As fast as he could, Atton scrambled up and ran into the _Ebon Hawk_, closely followed by Mira and Mical.

After they hadn't discovered anything in the cargo hold and the main hold, they charged for the women's dormitory where Visas had withdrawn herself to meditate before they had left the ship.

The sight that greeted them there made them all speechless for a moment. Visas was holding a blond-haired girl in her arms a little helplessly, and beside her was an open smuggler's compartment. Atton was the first one to regain his senses. "Well, look who disobeyed her guardian's order."

The girl looked up from Visas' embrace, with her face tear-stained, and her nose running, saying with a certainty that was a little frightening: "No one's going to make me stay behind."

"Uh, kid, sometimes the words "for your own good" _do_ make sense, you know?", Atton said.

It was followed by a murmur from Mira: "And the words "for _our_ own good" make even more sense."

Adana didn't let herself being intimidated the least. She raised her chin and said totally convinced of herself: "I'm the only one who can bring you to Né."

Now Mical also had found his speech again. "What makes you think that, child?"

She huffed a little. "I'm not a child anymore."

Next was Mira to chime in. "Yeah, well, that's not the point here. Why do you think that it's _you_ of all people who can find her?"

"I just know. I can see her dreams, and sometimes I can see what she sees, even when she's awake. Trust me on this."

Before anyone could say anything, Visas spoke up: "She is right. This child is a powerful empath, and she also seems to have an ability to form force bonds almost equal to that of Né. It seems as if there is a very strong and special bond between the two which allows them to see each others' dreams or communicate more intensely than with anyone else of us. Logically we do need her, but I do not think it would be wise to take her along. She would be in grave danger."

Now Atton remembered what Adana had said to him at their first encounter: "You are the one I saw in her dreams." _Wonder what kind of dreams those were._, he thought and smirked a little.

"I agree.", a deep voice came from behind them. Mandalore had found his way to the dormitory as well. "And I think we should return this child as soon as we can. She already cost us a lot of time, and we can't afford any more. I say we fly to Citadel Station and dump her straight into Onasi's lap. Maybe bound and gagged to make sure she can't follow us a second time."

If there ever was a look that could meld transpari steel or fry the very air, it was the glower that Adana sent the Mandalorian. A wave of anger hit Atton, and suddenly he had the feeling that it was better not to mess with the kid. Visas must have felt it too, as she put a hand on Adana's shoulder and said: "Adana, please try to center yourself. Hurting Mandalore will not help you, and he _is_ right. You will see it yourself once you find your focus."

Strangely enough the glower softened and the waves of anger dissipated just as soon as Visas was talking to the child, and Atton and everyone with him grew even more confused. "Look, kid…"

Before he could finish his sentence, another wave of pain exploded in his head, making him fall to the ground. For what seemed like an eternity to him, there was nothing but hot, searing pain. He felt like every bone and every fiber in his body was on fire and being frozen stiff at the same time. And then, as suddenly as it had begun it ended. Suddenly he was back on the _Ebon Hawk_, in the dormitory, surrounded by his crew, with the worried face of Mical looming over him. Fainting really was the only possible action in that moment.

* * *

"… still don't know what caused it."

"… something with the bond…"

"… much stronger reaction than us…"

"Could you stop talking as if I wasn't there?", Atton said. Well, _thought_ he said. What came out of his mouth was a sound somewhere between a groan and a croak. But at least it stopped the others' talking. He closed his eyes with a satisfied sigh. Maybe now the splitting headache would start to dissipate.

"Ah, you're awake. How are you feeling?" He was trying to get back at him, right? Disciple really wanted to punish him for all the times he had been the loser in their arguments, right?

"Like hell.", Atton managed to croak out and was surprised that it was even understandable.

"Well, you _did_ have quite a strong reaction, you know." Yes, Mical _was_ enjoying causing him discomfort. Greatly. _So much for being a selfless healer._, Atton thought sardonically.

"Go away.", was all Atton could manage, and he hoped that he had sounded menacing enough.

"No, I think I should monitor you for a while. Just making sure you won't have a relapse, huh?" Nope, he obviously hadn't.

"Mical, quit being a badass. Doesn't become you." Atton had never been so glad in his life as when he now heard Mira's voice. Even if that didn't help his headache either.

"I'm not a badass, I'm doing my job, Mira." _Goawaygoawaygoaway!_, went on in Atton's head in endless rotation.

"Yeah, as if you don't get a kick out of Atton writhing on the bed every time one of us so much as _breaths_." Mira was right about the writhing thing, but that didn't help his current situation one iota. And if those two were going to have a lover's spat right in front of him when he felt like a vibro ax was driven into his head every time one of them opened their mouth, then so help him…

"Out. Both of you." It was the first time he had Visas use such an authoritative tone. Something _big_ must have happened.

Not surprisingly Mical and Mira both obeyed Visas and left the med-bay. If she had talked to Atton in that tone he was pretty sure he'd done about _every_thing just to not to have to find out what happened if he _didn't_.

She was coming over to him as the rustling of her robes came nearer. Then a cool hand was placed on his forehead, and after some more seconds he felt the relief that always accompanied a Force heal. His headache vanished, and his body didn't feel like a whole herd of rontos had stampeded over him anymore. Slowly he sat up again.

He was surprised to see Adana lying on the second cot. Turning back to Visas he said: "Alright, now that that's settled: what the hell just happened? And what's the kid doing here?"

"You… collapsed. All of the other Force sensitives felt a wave of pain, too, but you two were affected the hardest. It took you three hours to wake up again, and Adana is still unconscious."

He rubbed his forehead. "You said, you felt it, too… what do you think was it?"

Visas wandered over to the unconscious girl and lightly touched her forehead. "Seeing that all we Force sensitives were affected, but you and Adana took the most, I would say that it has something to do with the bond we all share with Neeneá."

Atton had expected Adana to wake up again after Visas had touched her but the girl stayed asleep. He was confused. "You… you don't think she's… she…"

Visas turned back to him. "No, but I fear that she is… in grave danger. Atton, I think we need to meditate. And I think we need Adana now more than ever. I fear she might be the only one being able to tell us what happened to Neeneá. I have the distinct feeling that she did find Atris indeed."

"But we can't take a child with us. We just _can't_."

He was surprised to find a note of genuine deep sadness in her voice when she answered: "But I am afraid that we must. Atton… in the end it is your decision, but keep in mind that we might need everyone bonded to Neeneá to find her."

His decision. Great. Just fracking great. He, Atton Rand – smuggler, scoundrel, former Sith assasin – had to make the decision whether to take a child with them or not. Whether to bring her into imminent and great danger or give her the chance to live a life far away from Dark Jedi, Force lightening and Force bonds. Somehow he knew that if he decided to have Adana tag along, that he would most probably get the beating up of his life by Né, but he also knew – deep down – that maybe Visas was right. That the girl _was_ their only way to find Né.

And he also knew that – even if he wished it was different – that she would _never_ be free of the bond she had formed with Né, unless one of the two died. And that was something he absolutely _didn't_ want. Well, that and the fact that obviously _his_ bond to Né had been strengthened significally since their parting.

"Visas… what would happen if one of us – Né or me – would die?"

The Miraluka turned towards him, and he had the strange feeling that her eyes were burning through him, even with the veil. "I think, you know the answer quite well."

He shuddered. But he continued asking. He just _had_ to know. "And if… one of us would fall to the dark side?"

Visas turned away again. Almost as if she didn't want to look at him. Atton was surprised to find her voice decreasing several volumes "You know it as well as I, Atton."

And he did. He had known for quite some time, but he hadn't let himself even _think_ about that possibility. But if she was now in the hands of Atris, and that fracking Jedi Ice Queen was torturing her… He squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, he had a decision to make. And decide he did.

"We're taking her with us. But we need to keep her away from any imminent danger. Né would _kill_ me if I let something happen to the girl, light side or not." He hated himself for that decision, as it felt egoistical through and through but he tried to tell himself that he wasn't rescuing Né only for his sake, but for the sake of the galaxy. Maybe, one day, he could forgive himself for that. But most probably not.

Visas juts nodded. "Very well. While I take care of Adana, you should talk to the rest of the crew, do you not think?"

He nodded, but before leaving he addressed her for a last time. "Visas?"

"Yes?"

"Could you do me a favor? Have an eye on her, train her, make her control her emotions better. That wave of anger we got from her… really didn't feel nice, you know?"

Visas nodded. "I know what you mean. I will try to take care of the child."

He hopped off his cot. "Thanks, Vi."

* * *

**A/N: **See, I promised you more than one new chapter once I find a possibility to upload something :) And I just hope that the next chapters won't take so long now because it's starting to get ugly for the _Ebon Hawk_'s crew, and we all know how we hate cliffies, don't we ;) 


	12. Chapter 12: Hits you when you're down

**Chapter Twelve: Hits you when you're down **

"_It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache. __  
Hits you when its too late, hits you when you're down."___

Bonnie Tyler, "It's a Heartache"

_

* * *

Yavin IV, Sith Temple Remains, Né's Cell_

The room was without any windows. Its walls were solid stone, hundreds of years old. There was no light in the cell, but she didn't mind. She still had her Force sight after all. And besides all she wanted to do now was sleep. Or maybe not, since she would only be dreaming again, all kinds of fragments mixed up together in a huge heap. Snippets from Adana's life, pieces of her quest on the _Ebon Hawk_, scenes from her past in the Jedi Enclave… and Atton. Again and again, Atton. How she met him, how they made love on the _Hawk_, how he confessed his horrible past to her.

She closed her eyes and leant her head on her knees that she had drawn to her body. She still felt pain all over her body, but she didn't care anymore. The ache in her heart was far more intense. What would she give now for having Mical care for the wounds of her flesh and Atton for the ones in her heart. Or for Visas to give her the spiritual advice she so badly needed. Or for Mira for a good laugh. Bao-Dur for his quiet listening and unwavering faith in her. Adana for her absolute belief in her. Even Mandalore and his war stories and unquestioning loyalty. And of course T3 for his quips and constant optimism. Dammit, she needed every one of them.

She took a deep breath. It became harder and harder to stand by her decision to leave the _Hawk_. For the umpteenth time she cursed her ability to form Force bonds like others levitated things. If it wasn't for that, none of that would have happened. _Stop that. Becoming bitter about your fate's not going to help you._

For a moment she listened to herself suspiciously. But the voice didn't sound like Atris' insane jabbering or the dark side taunting. It sounded surprisingly clear like her inner Atton. She smiled a half smile. Whatever she tried, he just wouldn't leave her alone. The actual Atton would be delighted to know that, she was sure.

But as it was, she was still sitting in a dark, damp and cold hole, missing her crew terribly and with no idea how to end that nightmare. In that moment she almost desperately wished to have Atton's arms wrapped around her in a protective embrace, like he did all those times when she needed comforting. If she only had those arms around her now, she would have felt safe in _every_ place, even here… The door to her cell suddenly creaked open. Dim light was filtering in, but her eyes had been away from light too long, so she needed to shield them even against this little amount of light.

Steps echoed through the room, and she could feel a maelstrom of dark energy coming near her. She squinted against the light, trying to make out who was standing in the door way. But it was the voice that finally tipped her off. "Ah, so you are awake, little _Jedi._" How Master Kavar's voice could ever sound so disgustingly full of malice was beyond her knowledge. But then again, the presence residing in Kavar's body was not Kavar anymore, as she had to remind herself.

"What do you want?" Her voice sounded surprisingly calm, even bored. It was one of those moments where Mical would call her incredibly brave for acting like that and the rest of the crew would call her – in varying degrees of intensity of course – incredibly stupid.

"Ah, it is as she has told me. You are trying to cover how you feel at the sight of your old master's body, but I can feel your confusion and anger very well." And it was true. It hurt like hell hearing Master Kavar's voice talk to her like that. Kavar had always been her favorite master, level-headed, fair and friendly as he was. And now he was sounding like he hated the very fact that she existed.

"Well, I don't mind. You can feel all you want. Just don't bother me with wasting my time again." Okay, now even Mical would call her incredibly stupid. But really, she was in no mood to let herself being taunted again.

"I can feel your impatience. And your annoyance. You are a strong one. You would be a valuable weapon in the fight for the restoration of the Sith Empire." Oh Force, how often had she heard _that_ in the last weeks?

"Didn't Atris tell you that I'm a bit allergic to people who want to use me as their weapon? Or use me as anything at all." _Oh. That was… interesting._ She had felt a peek of _something_ flare up in the presence opposite from her at the mentioning of Atris' name. Was there trouble in paradise for Atris and her Sith ghosts _menage a quartre_?

"She has told me that once broken you would be very easy to reform. And that she knows many ways to break you."

"So what? I know many ways to withstand her." Not that she really had the strength to come through once the shit hit the fan, but she could at least try to bluff, right?

"But not to withstand her _and_ us. She has ordered me to bring you to the Great Hall again." And there it was. Her escape road. Crystal clear before her.

"You let yourself being ordered around by a _Jedi_? You, Magna Ragos, greatest Sith Lord of all times? That's just _pathetic_." For a moment she thought she would be executed just there and then, but when the not-Kavar opened his mouth again she had known that she had managed to drive a wedge between the Gruesome Foursome.

"She was the one that awakened us and has given a body to us again. She has every right to demand our obedience." She smiled to herself, a little sardonically.

"You let yourself be pushed around out of _gratefulness_? And you want to be _Sith Lord_? My, my, I never thought that gratefulness was part of the Sith Code." It was a hazardous game, she knew, but she needed to take her chance.

"It is not. We are not serving her out of gratefulness but out of duty. We are bound to her by the Force through the act of awakening." Né had to cover up a triumphant smile as she landed her death blow.

"Okay, so you are not serving the Ice Queen because you are so well-educated and nice boys but because your are her _slaves_? And here I thought you couldn't become any _more_ pathetic. A slave that claims to be a Sith Lord, tsss. Bring back Sleeps with Vibro-blades, really." Hate raged inside of Ragnos' presence but instead of striking her down, he directed his feelings towards one of the Sith guards.

"We are no…" She looked at him, playing to be totally calm and raising her eyebrow. "Slaves. We are slaves. _Jedi_ slaves. No Sith Lord ever bowed down to a filthy Jedi." In fact that wasn't true, but she didn't really feel like giving Ragnos' ghost a lecture in recent galactic history just now. "She will _pay_."

And with that he had obviously totally forgotten about her, whirling around and heading out of the cell again. Unfortunately his remaining guard had the brains to shut her cell again. But it was only a temporary set-back. She had planted the seed of distrust and grudge among her captors, and she would just have to watch it grow now.

She closed her eyes. Yes, dogmatic Jedi like Master Vrook or Bastila Shan by now would have threatened her with cutting her off the Force again, for that kind of meddling had a very dark tendency to it, but this was about pure survival, not revenge or lust for power. She just had to keep telling herself that long enough, then maybe she would believe it someday.

_

* * *

Deep Space, Ebon Hawk__, main hold_Ebon Hawk 

"Hey, what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep?", a weary voice said behind him, and Mical turned around to face Mira.

"Well, I… just can't sleep. Mandalore's snoring _does_ make it hard to fall asleep in the males' dormitory." It was a blatant lie. Okay, so not _that_ blatant because at this moment Mandalore _was_ cutting down wroshyyr trees with his snoring, but usually he could bring himself to concentrate hard enough to the half meditative state that helped him sleep when in disquiet surroundings. But what really had him worried were the reactions of Atton and Adana to whatever had been happening to Né.

Mira grinned a little lopsided. "I can imagine that. Big guy must be as loud as a battle cruiser's hyperdrive." Her grin faded, and she sat down opposite to him. "But that's not the only thing, ain't I right?" She wasn't an easy one to fool, he had give her that.

"Mira… I'd rather not talk about it." She leant back, radiating off determination. This time he wouldn't shake her off easily.

"But _I_'d rather talk about it. Hadn't we agreed that the brooding routine was Atton's field of expertise?" He made a face at the mentioning of their pilot's name, and that was his biggest mistake. He had made himself wide open to her, she thought smirking inwardly.

"Really, Mira, I don't want to discuss this with you."

She raised her eyebrow. "Discuss _what_?"

"Atton's and Adana's reac… Uh. Blast it." She raised her eyebrow.

"Mical swearing? The universe really must be coming to its end now." He closed his eyes.

"This is not funny, Mira."

"And I wasn't making any jokes. You talking like that means you got some serious issues with something right now. So spill it." For a moment he was tempted to use Persuasion at her, but he knew she would never forgive him that.

"I'm just worried about Adana's and Atton's reaction to whatever is happening to Né right now. And why those two are the only ones reacting this strong."

"I don't think you're really worried about _both_ reactions. You're only worried about _Attons's_ reaction." Obviously she wasn't in the mood to let herself being fooled tonight.

"I… what in the Force does it mean? How come they have a stronger bond than most of us? Why _him_?" Mira was surprised to hear heavy undertones of jealousy in his voice. Yes, she had known that he had feelings for their absent Jedi, but she had never guessed how deep they obviously ran.

"Because she loves him.", she found herself saying quieter than she had meant to.

"But _why_?" A note of desperation crept into his voice, and she was surprised to absolutely not liking it.

"That's for them alone to know, Mical, and you know that. Stop dwelling on that. She made her choice, and it's not your place to judge her. Just stop the whole jealousy act with Atton. I already told you, it doesn't become you very well." He eyed her. Since when had she started to become so serious?

"But he's not… right for her." He was starting to sound like a whining child, but he didn't care.

"Mical, really, stop it. She loves him for a reason, and because she does it he _is_ the right one for her. Besides: Atton's head over heels for her. And quiet frankly: I don't see any chance that should change anywhere in the future. Just get over her." Now she sounded annoyed. Why in the Force would she be annoyed at him?

"But…" She leant forward on her arms.

"There are other women in the galaxy as well, you know.", she said quieter than she had intended to. It caught his attention more than any quip could have, and he looked at her. For the first time he really _looked_ at her. And he saw _Mira_. Mira, who had cracked his shell with her sharp tongue. Mira, who had made him laugh countless times. Mira, who had opposed Atton for him. And he realized that he had been so caught up with pining after Né that he hadn't realized that another woman had worked her way into his heart. A woman he had hurt with his immature and inadequate behavior.

"Yes, I do.", he said smiling at her and stroking her cheek lightly. Her face showed that she didn't quite understand, so he took her hand and kissed it lightly, saying "Just give me time, Mira. Just a little more time." And with that, he left, intending to meditate on all of this.

Open-mouthed she looked after him, only to immediately shut her mouth when a voice behind her said: "Does that mean he'll stop going all frag granate on me whenever he can now?"

She whirled around to look into the very smug face of Atton Rand. "How long have you been lurking there, Rand?"

He came sauntering over. "Don't worry, I didn't get anything before the part with the other women in the galaxy. So, _does_ it mean he'll leave me alone?"

She shrugged having gained back a little of her composure. "I guess so."

Atton took the seat Mical had just vacated. "And what was that time-business about? Oh, wait, don't say anything: that's what you're racking your brains about, huh?"

Now it was her turn to refuse any discussion. "That's none of your business, Rand. Stop trying to mess around with my personal life."

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh, just how you messed around with _my_ life, you mean?"

"I didn't…"

"Yes, you did. And I'll be eternally grateful for that. If you hadn't pushed me out of the cockpit, I don't know if I would have had the guts to say sorry to her. So, here's my try at messing with another one's life: let him do his meditation-thingy. But if he's taking more than one day to come down with anything more specific than this cryptical behavior some moments ago, then I'll give him a serious lecture myself." He looked at her expectantly.

"Uh… you think there's a chance he… actually _likes_ me?" For a woman acting so tough like Mira, she sure looked a lot insecure when it was about real affection, he thought.

He smirked. "Well, who wouldn't? But seriously: he's got the hots for you, he just doesn't know it yet. Trust me, I have that in my guts. Now, go to bed, I need a fit pilot to take over my turn in six hours."

Reluctantly she got up. Before she left the main hold, she turned around and said: "And you… don't brood all the way through your shift. We're gonna find her, and she'll be okay, there's no need for you to go stir crazy already."

"Will do.", he muttered and then made his way to the cockpit.

_

* * *

Cockpit_

The black velvet blanket of deep space was surrounding Atton in the dark cockpit, and the millions of stars around him were twinkling all the brighter, but all the beauty of the universe was absolutely lost to him. He was deep in thought, as always in the past days when he was alone. Sure, Mira had told him not to brood but recently it had become a habit hard to shake.

Tonight it was his break down on Telos two days ago. He hadn't told anyone, but it had scared him to death, and in many ways. For starters he hadn't ever felt such physical pain before. Not even when he had been in for the occasional round of punishing from their resident Sith Lord when he had been one of Revan's Jedi killers. And Darth Revan had known very well how to inflict pain upon everyone who happened to anger her.

But what had worried him more was Visas' theory of his extra-strong bond with Né. If he had experienced a somewhat muffled version of her pain, what pain did _she_ have had to endure? He knew she was still alive because the whole incident had left him somehow better attuned to his bond with Né. Her presence was a kind of steady back humming in his mind. If someone asked him he knew he couldn't really describe it, but he didn't really need to. All that counted was that she was still there. As long as she was there, he knew he had the energy to thrive on, whatever he needed to do to get her back.

And he would do just about _everything_ to get her back. Again the pain he had been feeling on Telos wormed its way back to his mind, and he closed his eyes. If he ever got his hands on the Jedi Ice Queen and her companions, he knew that none of them would escape in anything else than a pile of dust. Just thinking about Atris and whoever worked with her now made his blood boil. And that scared him. Atton Rand wasn't scared of many things, but this blood lust felt too much like that he had felt when killing and turning Jedi for Revan.

Né wouldn't approve a bit of this, and she had every right to do it. But he just couldn't help it. Those schuttas had laid their filthy hands on the woman he loved, and they would suffer for it. Né was the first in _ages_ – maybe even _the_ first – that had stirred more in him beside raw lust or desire, and he wouldn't let anyone take her from him again. Not her who had shown him compassion and forgiveness when he had deserved anything but. Not her who had managed to break through all of his barriers. Not her who had healed age old wounds with just a touch or a smile or a kiss. _Not_ her.

He put his head in his hands. He missed her, now more than ever. Having her presence constantly on the edge of his mind was like seeing the juma glass always only in the corners of his eyes, regardless where he turned. He…

"She misses you, too, you know."

Startles he turned around in the seat, just to come face to face with very ruffled looking Adana. "That damn running gag was old _ages_ even before you did it the first time, kid."

She looked at him, puzzled. "Huh?"

He ran a hand over his face, leaning back again. "Creeping up on me and frighten me like that. Visas and Mira seem to love to do it." She padded nearer, and he realized she was barefoot. Seemed as if she was fresh out of bed. "Anyway, shouldn't you be asleep?"

She hid a yawn behind her hand. "Tried to. But I couldn't. I keep seeing her dreams."

Visas had told him that Adana obviously was connected somehow to Né's subconscious and the two could sometimes see each other's dreams. "And so you decided you could pay the pilot a visit?"

She shrugged. "You were the only one awake. I didn't want to wake any of the others. I guess Visas needs her sleep, 'cause she's always training someone and that bounty hunter girl would have done something very painful to me, if I'd woken her up."

"Mira," he said a little absentmindedly, "her name is Mira."

She made a face. "Whatever."

For a moment it was quiet between the two, but Adana made no attempt at leaving so Atton grudgingly motioned to the co-pilot's seat. "Might want to enjoy the view, mylady."

The girl stuck out her tongue, and climbed into the co-pilot's seat. Adana was short for her age, and she seemed even shorter sitting in the oversized seat. For a while it was quiet again, but after a while Adana said quietly: "I meant that. She misses you."

He turned to her. He didn't need to ask who "she" was, both of them knew it very well. "How do you know, huh?" The girl drew her legs toward, and it seemed like she was shivering in the oversized shirt and shorts she was wearing as her nightclothes. Sighing a little, Atton tossed her his jacket, grumbling something like "Don't tell anyone. My rep would be ruined forever."

With a face Adana took the jacket and covered herself with it. "I've seen it in her dreams. She's always searching for you in some dark alley or stuff like that. Doesn't feel very nice."

He was surprised to feel actually sorry for the girl. Being stuck against your will in the mind of a woman who had killed thousands of beings and who was considered a "wound in the Force" by some and having to experience the same anguish she had to suffer from was nothing he wanted any eleven-year old to experience. Hell, he wanted _no one_ to experience something like that. He found himself wishing he could relieve Adana somehow of this burden and take it upon himself. "I'm… sorry."

The girl shrugged again and said with a strange wisdom well beyond her age: "What for? It's not your fault. It's not even _her_ fault, I guess. Anyway, why's she always calling out for _you_ and none of the others?"

He raised his eyebrow. Okay, so maybe Adana hadn't seen _those_ kind of dreams. "Because… we are… we…" Why in the Force was it so hard to tell the girl that he loved Né? Come to think of it, he never told _anyone_ he loved Né. Not even the woman in question herself.

"You… what?" She wrinkled her nose. Did the child really not know anything about the love between men and women? _She grew up in a Refugee Camp with her single mother. What do you think, stupid?_, his inner Mical scolded him, and he made a face.

"We… I… love her. I love her." _Alright, am I really having this conversation with a fracking_ eleven-year _old?_

"Oh. Does she know it?" _What the…?_ Just when had this conversation turned into this? Where had been the point of no return, huh?

"She…"

Adana looked scolding now. "You never told her, huh?"

Alright, enough was enough. "Adana, I don't think this is any of your business, really."

The kid threw him an indignant look. "My mum always told me that you had to tell the people you loved about it. She said, you never knew if something would happen and so you had to make sure people you loved knew about it."

"Very clever woman, your mum."

She nodded, and when she said: "Yeah.", he could already hear the tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks any moment. _Aw, no, kid, don't cry, will you?_

But it was already too late. She tried to hide it, but tears had started running down her cheeks. Atton silently cursed himself. He was bad enough with crying women, but crying girls were about the worst thing you could throw at him. What in the hell did you do with an eleven-year old that was crying because her mother died just days ago in a planet-wide Force drain and who had just formed a bond to a totally stranger which forced her to take part in dreams that weren't hers and that she didn't understand?

Nothing different than with a women that was crying her eyes out because she had just witnessed her trusted teacher and friend drain out three men she had once considered her teachers as well, he found out only minutes later. Tentatively he had gotten up from his chair and had put an unsure hand on one of Adana's shoulders. At first she had tried to shake him off, still telling him nothing was wrong and that he should leave her alone, but as he had spun around the chair and put a second hand on the other shoulder, she had uncurled herself and had almost jumped right into his awkward embrace.

Now that situation – woman in his arms that was needed to cry herself to sleep – he knew by heart and so he just shifted Adana enough so that he could sit down in the chair with her and hold her while her body shook with sobs.

In the end Mira found both of them asleep in the co-pilot's chair when she went into the cockpit to take her turn. Against her will she found a smile creeping up her face. There was just something about men holding children that even she couldn't withdraw herself from.

* * *

**A/N: **Tada, another chapter. Though I feel like the development between Mira and Mical (or the M&Ms, as I started to call them in my head ;)) seems a bit rushed, and I should have taken more time for them. Opinions, anyone? anyway, thanks for the reviews again, and I hope I'll soon get internet at home 'cause quite frankly I hate writing without being able to access my favorite internet dictionary and Star Wars Wiki.


	13. Ch 13: Ain't got time to take fast train

**Chapter Thirteen: Ain't got time to take a fast train**

"_Give me a ticket for an aeroplane,  
__ain't got time to take a fast train.  
__Lonely days are gone, I'm a'goin' home,  
__My baby just wrote me a letter." _

_The Box Tops, "The Letter"_

_

* * *

Yavin IV, Sith Temple Remains_

To the superficial observer, the small droid aboard the _Moon Shadow_ looked like it was deactivated totally. But those who had boarded the _Moon Shadow_ and taken away his Master had obviously not thought him important at all so they had indeed deactivated him and let him stay on the ship. But none of those air breathers had known that one of his previous masters – even one before Revan – had programmed a hidden timer into his core. Once T3 was deactivated without entering certain codes into his interface and wasn't reactivated after a certain amount of time, the timer would set itself to exactly 24 hours. It then would start a chain reaction in T3's circuits that would lead to T3 activating himself again.

Now the activation was three hours ago, and as soon as T3 had been able to scan his surroundings he had found out that he was alone on the ship. The ramp was closed, and all lights had been put out. The complete ship was totally powered down. But he was alone, and that was all that counted. Whoever had taken away his Master he knew had not been a friend. His analysis of her behavior shortly before and during the boarding had told him as much. T3 also knew from taking a look out the cockpit windows that he would not be able to free her himself. He had seen two of those white-haired air breathers that had taken the Master away, and the fact that she had yielded so fast, but yet unwilling told him that those being were none to be taken lightly.

And so a plan had been forming in the little droid's circuits. He needed to find a way to sneak a communication signal to the _Ebon Hawk_ without tipping off their captors that he was active. That meant he needed to send it without using so much power that the would notice the _Shadow_ powering up. He had taken his time with calculating and playing through scenarios, and in the end he had found a way to do it. He would send a low frequency signal coded in the slang language he used to communicate with the _Hawk_'s computers. All that would register on the sensors of their captors would be a signal that looked like random piece of electromagnetic junk. He just hoped that Bao-Dur would recognize the signal once the _Hawk_ received it.

_

* * *

Deep Space, Ebon Hawk__, Garage_ Ebon Hawk 

"Bao-Dur? Could you… do me a favor?"

The Zabrak turned around from the work he had been doing to see Visas Marr standing behind him. "Sure. What can I do for you?"

As always, the Miraluka was a little shy. At first Bao-Dur had been a bit intimidated about this, thinking that she was resenting him in some way or thinking him lower than her because his Jedi abilities were not half as developed as hers but than he had found out that she just didn't really know how to be around people.

"I wondered if you could build another one like your little droid."

"Another remote?" She nodded. He now turned fully, setting aside the spare part for the damaged HK-droid that was standing in the main hold. Well, another remote. Sure, he could do it. Question was if he wanted. He was a bit ashamed to admit it, but he had come to like the little droid that had sacrificed itself on Malachor V for the general. It had been his constant companion on his travels, and it had kept the loneliness away from him. Since its destruction he had always felt a little beside himself. Building another one would feel like… betraying his first one.

"I can see that you are uncomfortable with my request. I am sorry for asking you. I should have considered your attachment to your last one. Please forgive me my unthinking intrusion." Visas was already turning around, but the ashamed tone of her voice made him call her back.

"No, Visas, it's okay. You couldn't have known that, and maybe I just should… get over the old remote. It was just a droid after all."

Visas could very clearly feel that Bao-Dur wasn't as indifferent as he claimed. Indeed his remote had obviously been a lot more to him than "just a droid after all". But she could also feel that he didn't want to disappoint her. Still lacking experience in how to act around other people, it surprised her. "Oh no, I think it was a friend to you. And asking if you could built another one was very inconsiderate of me. Please forgive me."

He smiled at her. "No, really, it's okay, Visas. Stop apologizing. I'm a lot more interested as to why you need such a droid." And he really _was_ curios. What would Visas of all people need a remote for?

"Thank you for your interest. I have studied some of the recordings that T3 has brought with him from the academy on Telos, and I saw that the Jedi used remotes as means to train their _padawans_'s light saber fighting skills. They would blind-fold their students and have the droids fire weak laser shots at them which the students had to deflect. Seeing as we only have the means to train light saber duels so far, I thought we might need more practice in deflecting blaster beams." Visas sounded a little insecure, as if she wasn't fully convinced that her idea was indeed a good one, but Bao-Dur instantly knew it was. He beamed at her.

"I very much see why you need a remote indeed. And I think I have just the right spare parts here. Just give me two or three hours, and you'll have your training remote." The Miraluka smiled, something that still was a rare occurrence on the _Ebon Hawk_. Bao-Dur suddenly found himself wishing she'd do it a lot more.

"I thank you so much. You have really helped me." The smile faded, and suddenly Visas looked a little weary to him.

"You're welcome. And Visas?"

She cocked her head a little to the side. "Yes?"

He cleared his throat. "Uh… you should take a little time out. You're looking a little stressed, and it would be a shame if you'd overdo yourself training us all. You really should take a break."

She looked a little surprised. "I… thank you for your concern. I will consider your advice."

He nodded. "Do that. You really could use it."

A little awkwardly she thanked him again and then told him she'd leave him alone so that he could begin his work on the remote. Just as she was about to leave and he wanted to start looking through his spare parts, Mira's voice rang over the ship's loudspeaker system. "Someone who knows the _Hawk_'s computer better than I come to the cockpit. Something _really_ weird just came in."

"Well, I guess that's me. Sorry, Visas, but seems your remote has to wait a little." She bowed her head.

"I understand. Go and help the huntress." And with that he was off to the cockpit.

_

* * *

Main Hold _

"Gee, what's the commotion about, huh?" A clearly disheveled Atton strutted in through the door leaving to the dormitories. He was combing his hands through his unruly hair and overall looking like he just came out of bed.

"Something that'll interest you, flyboy.", Mira said, and waved at Bao-Dur at Atton's raised eyebrow.

The Zabrak understood the wink and started to explain. "Half an hour ago, the _Ebon Hawk_'s navicomputer received a low frequency signal with a message in a very weird dialect. It was disguised as a random piece of electromagnetic radiation, but the computer picked it up and insisted on playing it over and over again. We couldn't make anything of it until I remembered that T3 and the navicomputer used to communicate with each other in a very crude slang." As soon as Atton had heard the word "T3", he was fully awake. T3 had left together with Né, and if the message was in a dialect only T3 used…

"Absolutely, Atton. The message is from T3.", Bao-Dur said with just the hint of a smirk. _Am I that easy to read, huh?_

"So, what did he say?" It came out a little more eager than Atton had it intended to. Knowing looks were passed between the rest and he grumbled something like "I saw that, people. Don't think I don't know you've labeled me thelovesick idiot for good.", but the rest chose to ignore it.

"I wasn't able to decipher the whole message, but what I got was that he said he was on a planet called Yavin IV." Was he hallucinating or had Visas winced at the name of the planet?

"Yeah, well, what are we waiting for? Where are the coordinates of that planet? Why aren't we already in hyper space? Mira?" She had been the pilot on duty, so he was addressing her.

But she just made an evasive gesture and said: "Look, Atton, it's not as easy as that…"

His fist landed on the rim of the star map projector. "Not as easy as that? What's so difficult about typing in some coordinates and pulling a lever?" His temper was again getting the better of him, but it was pretty difficult to reign yourself in when the way to the one you loved was suddenly opened and others were keeping you back. _Especially_ when you had just woken up from one of the worst nightmares you ever had and which had included _a lot_ of pain for said loved one.

Mira was tempted to take a step back, but by now she knew Atton's occasional bouts of hotbloodedness. It was becoming easier not to be frightened anymore, even if she absolutely didn't like the cold glint that always appeared in his eyes when he was really agitated. But before she could say anything, Mical stepped between her and Atton. "You let her alone. She did nothing to justify your rage, and it's not a Jedi's way to act like that."

"I bloody don't care what's a Jedi's way and what isn't. She's skin deep in danger, we know where she is and we're still wasting our time here. What's the _matter_ with you people?"

Before Mical could retort anything, Visas spoke up: "It is as the huntress said. Yavin IV was the stronghold of one of the mightiest Sith Lords in recent history, Exar Kun. It is full of life, and full of dark energy, and it is dangerous landing there. The dark energies most probably fuel Atris' and her companions' hate and make them stronger with every day they are living there." Atton wanted to speak up again, but Visas' hand stopped him. "We cannot go there in haste. We are in grave danger there, and stronger Jedi have fallen to the call of Yavin IV's dark energy. Before we go there, we need a plan."

The restlessness in Atton was becoming more and more apparent, and Visas saw the alarming dark smudges on his aura moving more vivid with every minute. She would have to take him to meditate as fast as possible, or she was in danger of failing not only Né but all of the crew. If Atton fell to the dark side, it was at least partly her fault.

"A plan, huh? Well, I'm more of the "Blast 'em away!"-type of guys, but if that's what the majority here's thinking…" Atton took a look around, and all of them were nodding, all of them seeming a little anxious of his final decision. "Fine… but I'll give us two days. If by then the plan's not ready, we're going to Yavin IV without one. Any objections?" None of them wanted to know what happened if they said no, and besides all of them were eager to get their friend back. The crew nodded. Atton nodded. "Great. See you all again one hour."

With that Mira, Bao-Dur and Mandalore made their way to their respective stations, but as Mical was about to go after Mira, Atton cleared his throat at him. The Disciple turned around again. "What do you want from me?"

"Just want to know if you already talked to her, pretty boy." For a moment, Mical was tempted to ask innocently who Atton meant, but after a look in the pilot's eyes it was clear that he didn't except any excuses.

Unfortunately, this day happened to be one of those where Mical found himself to be more than the meek scholar he used to be. "That's none of your business, _flyboy_."

Atton walked up to him, and stopped himself shortly before taking him by his collar. "Yes, it _is_. Mira's my friend, and if you do _anything_ to hurt her, then so help me." This time Mical, too, saw the cold glint in Atton's eyes, and something told him that there was more to this man than just your average space scoundrel. It gave him the creeps.

"I won't, I'll give you my word. Now let me go. I need to _talk_ to someone." With that he brushed past Atton, happy to have escaped those eyes for the time being.

Now it was only Atton and Visas, and Atton knew what was about to come. But Visas surprised him. "I will not chastise you, for I can see your pain in your aura. Everyone of us makes mistakes when they are afraid to lose someone they hold dear. But we need to train your focus. Once we are on Yavin IV, we all are in grave danger of being lured to the dark side. Your temper and your dedication to Neeneá make you very vulnerable. You do not want to fail her, do you?" _Little manipulative bitch of a Jedi, that's what you are._, Atton thought a little bitter, but he also saw the truth in her words. Resigned he hung his head for a moment.

"No. I see your point, really, I do. But I just… I'm not very good at this whole Jedi stuff. I guess, I'll never be as good as any of you. Even _Mira_'s better than me and doesn't even try very hard."

The Miraluka smiled. "Ah, but only because she has finally accepted what she is. You have yet to accept your calling and the destiny that comes with it. But also the strength. Tell me, Atton: are you _afraid_ of your powers?"

He ran a hand over his face. "Afraid? No, I'm not. " And that was the truth. Visas could feel it. "But I'm afraid of… falling again. I fell once, and I feel like I'm… tainted." He couldn't believe that he was telling her that. What was it with him and Jedi women and confessions? "I feel like I'm…"

"Not good enough for her. Is it that which you are afraid of?" Since when had Visas lost her shyness with people?

"Yes. Yes, that's it. She's so… pure. And I'm…I'm constantly putting her in danger to fall as deep as I fell."

Visas took a step toward him and did something she had never done before: she touched his arm lightly in a comforting gesture. "Do not worry. She is not pure, and she knows it very well. Remember, in the war she has killed thousands of people, and it was this which made her what Kreia called "a wound in the Force". The echoes of the deaths she caused will forever follow her, and she knows it. And that is why she left. She thought that being together with us would someday result in _us_ being tainted like _her_."

He shook his head, disbelieving. "But she's _not_ tainting us."

Visas sighed. "Not at the moment, no. But you said so yourself: once she falls, we all fall. If we do not keep in mind that the bond is two-way. If she can redeem us through the bond, then we can do the same for her. Do you now see why we need to take our time before finally setting off for Yavin IV?"

He needed to take a moment to grasp everything she had told him. And it finally made sense to him. All her talk of "leaving to protect you" now became totally clear. At first he had thought that she meant that if Atris got one of them, she would use him or her to make Né fall, but what she really meant was that her fear of failing and her vulnerability because of her bond to them made _herself_ an easy target of the dark side. She had thought that by keeping a distance between them, she could minimize the danger for _them_ to fall.

"You stupid, _stupid_ girl. You damn stupid and stubborn Jedi bitch. You and your bloody self-sacrificing act. How _could_ you?" His comm hit the wall, and suddenly he was sitting on his knees, just inches away from actually sobbing.

Visas crouched down beside him. "Do not worry. We will find her. I promise it to you. But we need to work on your focus. You need to learn how to channel what she means to you. There might come a time where you have to tell her not in words, but in the _Force_."

He looked up to her, regaining his composure. "You know, Vi, when this is over and we all survive it… remember me not to let her get away _ever _again. And to get you a state of the art new meditation chamber on Dantooine."

The Miraluka smiled. "Prepare yourself for your first lesson. You all surviving would be the greatest gift you could make me." With that she stood up again, leaving him behind, slightly flabbergasted.

He stayed there on the ground for one more moment, then got up. As he was about to head to the cockpit, the sound of naked feet padding on the deck plating made him turn around. A sleepy Adana stood in the doorway. "What's happening?", she asked, toying with one of her tousled strands.

He walked over to her and ruffling her hair a bit he said: "T3 sent our navicomputer a hello. Seems he needs the cavalry."

The girl's eyes lit up. "We're going to get her?"

Atton crouched down, hoping his voice wouldn't sound as choked as he feared it to be. "Yeah. We're gonna bring her home. Wherever that is."

The girl sniffed a little, and he feared she was starting to cry again, but this time she managed to stay the brave little girl. "My mum always said: home is where your heart is."

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **Wheee, new chapter! Finally being among the working populace seems to become me ;) Anyway, I think I'm rellay getting forward with this story, though I fear it's still getting darker.

As always thank you all for your reviews. And for adding me either to your favs or your author alerts (this story's now the highest ranking on my stats table in that regard :D) :)

**SilverSentinal21 - **Again thank you very much for your elaborate review. Nice to hear that you liked my e-mail :) As for where Adana will stay after the end of this story, I haven't quite decided yet (seeing that I'm already thinking of a sequel), so we'll see. And I wish I could play KotOR1, but at the moment the only computer I have at home is my Methuselah of a laptop (its got more than four years onits back already), and its health is declining pretty rapidely now. So, I have to wait until I get home to my parents anyway.

**bunny1kenobi - **Um... will you hurt me when I tell you that we still have a long way to go till the Atton/Exile-reunion:hides behind her desk:

**Wyvern Ryder - **Thank you for your enthusiastic review :)

**Purduegirl - **Well, in the game I never managed to repair HK-47 and I always found him hard to write since he's usually acting as a kind of comic relief. I'm not very good with humor writing, so I figured leaving him out was better than spoiling the story with bad attempts at humor.

**Amme Moto - **Let's see, maybe I got something in store for old Vrooky still ;)

**Lady of Arrakis - **I just hope I don't lose this track of the story (the M&M one), since it does open some nice possibilities.


	14. Ch 14: So beseelt von Rausch und Rage

**Chapter Fourteen: So beseelt von Rausch und Rage**

"_Sag mir, was hast du getan.  
__Schütte aus dein Herz und glaube.  
__Sag was ist dir widerfahrn, dass es solch Ausmaß annahm.  
__Sag was hast du dir gedacht, so beseelt von Rausch und Rage.  
__Stelltest du dich dieser Schlacht, abgestürzt in einer Nacht."  
__  
Tom Albrecht, "Wir sind eins" (translation at the end of the chapter)_

* * *

_Yavin IV, Sith Temple Remains_

As soon as he registered the _Moon Shadow_'s ramp going down, T3 knew something was wrong. _Very_ wrong. The beings that had taken his Master away were walking up the ramp. T3 tried to use an old trick of his, shutting down everything that could betray that he was active to make them believe he was anything but. He was, in fact, playing dead.

But it wasn't of any use, as they obviously had brought different scanners this time. They detected that he was still active, and faster than he could power up his electric lightning tool they had put a restraining bolt on him. A protesting screech escaped the little droid's vocoder which earned him a shock through the restraining bolt. Resigning himself to his fate, he rolled down the ramp behind the white-haired beings, just as they had commanded him.

* * *

When she heard the mournful warble of her little astromech behind her, Né felt her mood being uplifted considerably, even if she was again bound to the cane and kneeling before Atris. She had missed the little droid and feared that Atris had deactivated him or even given him a memory wipe. 

"A, yes, your inconceivable and entirely inappropriate love for droids. Even back in the Enclave you had this annoying notion on you. And what is even more incomprehensible is that those machines follow you as blindly as all those living beings that you bring to you through the Force. For instance, take this one behind you…"

"Atris, please, _is_ there even a point in your ramblings? Because, if not, do you really want to waste your and my time with this?" Né could feel the indignation welling up in Atris. _Just wait till your companions find you, Ice Queen. Let's see how indignant you are_ then, she thought with a kind of grim satisfaction.

"You're neither in the place nor in the right to interrupt me, traitor. But you were always lacking patience, even in the Enclave. As I was saying, this one behind you… is a droid exceptionally dedicated to you, even judging by the standard of other droids that followed you. It managed to send out a signal to your ship to tell them where you are. Unfortunately for you it acted exactly as I had planned it. See, I _wanted_ your friends to come here."

She didn't like what she was hearing. Not a bit. But she would be damned if she didn't at least try to bluff. "So? They are of no use to you. All too weak."

"Oh no, on the contrary, my dear. They are all very strong, all in their own way. Take… the Disciple, for example. I have known him, back in the Enclave. A very skilled healer, and stronger than he thinks. Or the huntress. Very spirited, very brave – a great fighter, be it with projectile weapons or the light saber. Oh, and the technician. Yes, very talented, and always underestimating himself. Very loyal, that one. Then of course there's Mandalore. Did you know? He once accompanied Revan, of all people. The irony in that _is_ refreshing, don't you think?"

With every one Atris enumerated, Né felt herself growing tenser. She had an inkling where this would end, and she did her best to suppress the thought. She was still miserably failing. "You can shove your irony where it's dark."

Atris shook her head. "Such coarse language, tsss. And I wasn't even done yet. Because… I didn't even mention the best parts of your motley crue yet. First, there is Visas Marr. A _remarkable_ woman, is she not? So wise, so loyal, so _powerful_. Admit it, she's more of a Jedi than you'll ever be." _Interesting. I never thought we would share the same opinion. But I really don't want to boost your already inflated ego and tell you that, you little bitch._

"And more of a Jedi than you ever _were_, Atris." She felt herself snatched up the air by her throat by an invisible hand. Hanging in that position, she could see Atris directly in the eye for the first time since she had arrived on Yavin IV.

"Don't you tempt me again. I may still need you alive, but I know many ways to inflict unbearable pain and still keep you alive." With that she released Né of her grip and she fell to the floor with an ungraceful thud.

"Where were we? Ah, yes, your crew. Well, Visas Marr _is_ a very interesting part of it, but there's one part even more interesting. And still so _young_. Oh, now, did you really think I wouldn't find out about the little girl you brought with you from Nar Shaddah? I do have my ways, you know. And this little one… she's a gem, isn't she? Stronger maybe even than Bastila Shan or Revan, and certainly stronger than you. Even strong enough to hide from me. And her bond to you… so _tight_. She will be so very valuable. But who could be even more valuable is… Atton Rand. Or should I say _Jaq_?"

The naming of Visas and Adana had felt like someone was kicking her full force in the solar plexus, but hearing Atris say Atton's name with so much venom and still want felt like being stabbed a thousand times. It was too much for her. "You keep your filthy hands off my people, Jedi bitch."

It was as if something inside her broke. From one second to another, she felt a wave of dark energy surging through her, being bend and shaped like a knife by her now raw and wild hate towards Atris. When it hit home, Atris screeched, but was back on her feet in a second. It didn't help her. By now Né had sought enough strength from the dark energy surrounding her that she had been able to break up her chains. She threw away the cane, and now it was her holding Atris a feet above the ground in a Force choke. A strong wind of pure energy swept through the hall and blazed through her hair. Her once green eyes had turned into pitch black.

But before she could squeeze Atris' windpipe a final time, the door flew open, and the three Sith ghosts came striding in. With their united strength, they threw Né down and bound her hands with chains of pure Force. The one that once had been Master Vrook came to stand before her and said: "You have attacked our mistress. Be happy that she still needs you. Otherwise you would have died just now."

Né's eyes now had returned to their original color, and the cackling dark energy which had surrounded her body had dissipated again, but the hate was still there. "You're even weaker than I thought when Ragnos paid me this little visit. She's lying there, weak, defeated, and you _still_ obey her? How _pathetic_."

Not-Vrook bowed down to her, and when he was face to face with her, he said: "It is not time, yet. We have waited more than thousand years, we can wait a few days longer. And when we are ready… you will regret evercalling one of us _pathetic_ a thousand times over."

When she was about to retort something, Atris spoke up again. Her voice was not controlled and arrogant like before, but sounding more like that of a lunatic than everything else. "You will pay for this. I will take them all and break them and _you_ will be my tool. You and your ridiculous little lover. He once turned Jedi for Revan, he will now turn them for _me_, even more efficiently than ever. And now, take her away. She makes me _sick_."

Before they finally dragged her away, Né threw Atris a last cold look and a sneer, saying "Right back at you, Atris."

_

* * *

Hyper Space, en route to Yavin IV, Ebon Hawk__, med bay_ Ebon Hawk 

"You wanted to talk to me?" Mira was casually leaning against the door frame, having her arms crossed. Mical looked up from the med packs he had been putting together. He smiled at her.

"Yeah. I went after you after Atton's little outbreak, but you were using the 'fresher. But… uh… you're here now." He wiped his hands on his tunic a little nervously, getting it smeared all over with chemicals.

She looked away, smiling a little embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm here now."

For a moment neither of them said anything, but then they spoke up in the same moment.

"Look, I…"

"About earlier…"

Another embarrassed smile from both of them, then Mical gestured towards her. "Ladies first, please."

She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, thank you. Uh, well… about earlier… well… you said you needed to meditate…"

"And… and I did. I… um… I think I should apologize to you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Apologize?"

He nodded, fiddling with a kolto pack. "Uh, yes. For… behaving like I did when we were talking in the main hold. And all those other times. I shouldn't… have treated you like this…"

Mira hold up a hand. "Oh, no, that was okay, really. Actually it's me that needs to apologize. I… uh… I had not right to say those things to you. I'm really… uh…sorry that I did."

Mical took a step nearer, saying very quietly: "But they were true. Every one of them."

Now they were standing toe to toe, and she found herself looking up to him, right into his grey-blue eyes. As if hypnotized he was lowering his head towards her, but just before he could kiss her, she suddenly broke away, saying: "I… can't. Not… not yet. _I_ also need a little time, Mical."

He was puzzled. How in the world could a woman like Mira – brash, forward, sometimes cynical – be so shy all of a sudden? Was it him? Was he not good enough? Didn't she feel for him what he thought she felt?

He saw into her eyes again and suddenly he understood. The Mira they saw most of the time was just a mask, most probably to protect herself. Behind that was a very vulnerable and insecure young woman.

"Mira, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

She took a deep breath and looked away again. "I'm not worried about you hurting me, Mical. I'm worried of _me_ hurting _you_. I…"

From one moment to another, they both clutched their heads, heavily leaning on the cot beside them. All of a sudden, they felt a dark wave hit them and blind them, if only for a moment. When they could see again, they instantly cried out.

"Atton!"

"Adana!"

_

* * *

Cockpit_

_Hate. So much_ hate _was flowing through him. It was blinding him, crashing down on him, surging through him… and pumping more strength than he had ever felt before through him. So much_ power_…It was alluring, addicting… Yes, he had felt this kind of power before. In his days as Jaq, when nothing else then killing Jedi, sometimes with his bare hands, could make him feel anything. Ah, how good that felt… _No!_, a faint voice cried out, and he remembered. He wasn't Jaq anymore. He was Atton, and he was bound to a Jedi, a Jedi that was falling…_

hate powerNo! 

"Atton! Atton, wake up!" Someone was shaking his shoulder, and he felt the now well-known headache come up again. He groaned, but the shaking didn't stop. "Hey, Atton, you okay?" It was Mira.

"Not if you continue shaking me like this.", he managed to croak out, and in an instant she let go of his shoulder.

"I take that as a yes.", was the slightly smug answer.

Slowly his surroundings began to clear up around him, and he realized he was in his dormitory, just finished with dressing, his hair still damp from the 'fresher. His head was still hurting, but at least now he knew what this had been about. The bond. Something had happened with her, and it wasn't good.

"Mira, did you feel anything?"

She looked away, a rare look of distress visible on her profile. "Yeah, me and Mical and most probably Bao-Dur, Visas and Adana…"

His splitting headache was all suddenly forgotten as he got up with remarkable speed. Without saying anything he raced to the cargo bay where he had last known Visas and Adana to be. And yes, both were sitting on the floor. Visas was holding her head, obviously shaken by the recent events, but Adana was an even poorer sight to see.

The child was sobbing uncontrollably, and without thinking he took her in his arms, drawing her as near as he could. "It's okay, Nana. It's over now. No one's going to hurt you. I'm here, _we're_ here. We're gonna protect you. Né's gonna be okay, _everything_'s gonna be okay…", he was rambling on, whispering in her ear and stroking her back to calm her as well as himself.

By now Bao-Dur had joined Mira and Mical in the door frame, but Mira felt as if this was something very private between Atton and Adana. Something told her that it would be better if those two were alone now, and she motioned for the men as well as Visas to come with her. But when Atton noticed Visas leaving, he silently shook his head and told her to stay. She nodded to tell him she complied with his request.

Mira, Bao-Dur and Mical were leaving the three alone, but before Mira finally left the cargo hold, Atton slightly turned around and mouthed a "Thank you." towards her. She just nodded in acknowledgment.

Adana's sobs now were becoming quieter, but she was still clinging to Atton. Careful as not to hurt her, he sat down on the floor of the cargo hold, softly coaxing her to sit down beside him. When she was seated, the sobs had ceased, and she was now awfully quiet. "Nana?" Somewhere around some days ago he had started calling her that, and she hadn't objected. Since then it stuck.

"What?" She was still sniffling a little.

"Better now?" He didn't trust himself with using more than two words now that the full impact of what had just happened was slowly setting in.

"A bit." She was turning away from him, obviously embarrassed about her own break down.

Up to now, Visas had been quiet, but now she spoke up. "What did you feel, Adana?"

Before Adana could say anything, Atton spoke up, sounding a little agitated. "Hey, the girl just had one hell of a dramatic experience, and you're already interrogating her about it?"

"I was _not_ interrogating her, Atton. I was merely asking her what she felt. Knowing your feelings inside out is part of the training that might help us survive this whole ordeal." All of them – including Visas herself – were surprised to hear the slight strain in Visas usually even voice. It occurred to him that Né's actions might have a bigger influence on them than they had thought.

Adana, sensing the tension in the room, said tentatively: "It was… scary. One minute I felt like I hated the whole universe, and then I felt like I could do everything, but then… I felt so guilty… I…"

Visas nodded her head. "I take it you were feeling what Neeneá felt in this particular moment."

The girl nodded, gulping a little. "Yeah, I think so. Atton…" She turned towards him. "What _happened_?"

There hadn't been much moments in his life when he had felt as helpless as now. How did you explain to a child what you couldn't even properly explain to yourself? The absolute trust in her eyes threw him completely off-balance, and he hated to do this, but he gestured towards Visas. "Honestly? I've no clue. Perhaps Visas can explain it better."

"But _you_ love her." The way she said it, one could think that love solved everything. _What a pity it doesn't._, he thought, and to his own surprise he was being completely serious, without _any_ sarcasm.

"Yeah, well, but Visas is better with the whole Force stuff. Trust me on this."

Reluctantly the girl turned back to Visas, looking at her expectantly. The Miraluka lowered her head a little. "I cannot say what exactly happened. But judging from what I felt and what you felt, it seems as if she broke at something that was done or said to her. Someone must have hit a weak spot, and it made her crack. It would explain the sudden outbreak, and the fastness with which this was over."

Not completely satisfied with the answer, Adana pressed on. "What's that weak spot?"

Hoping that she didn't catch it, Atton and Visas shared a knowing look. Or rather, Atton threw Visas the knowing look and imagined she was doing the same to him. But Adana wasn't an empath for nothing. "It's not nice having secrets from someone. Especially if that someone's in the same room. Said my mum."

Was that an exasperated sigh he heard from Visas? "Adana… Sometimes it is better not to know everything. You have to see…"

"_We_ are her weaknesses, aren't we?", the girl quietly cut her short.

Visas only nodded.

"Then it's our fault she broke?" The hurt and sadness in Adana's voice pained him, and he drew her towards him and hugged her out of an impulse.

"Oh Force, no, Nana. Never let anyone tell you that. It's not our fault, and it isn't her fault either. It's completely the fault of whoever did this to her. You hear me?" He had her by her shoulders now, looking her right into the eyes.

Taking her time with answering, she finally nodded, unable to say anything. He hugged her again. "Good. Always remember it, right?" Atton could feel her nod against his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and stood up again. "Alright. And now… be a good girl and continue your training. Maybe Visas will tell you how to shield yourself a bit better, huh?" He threw Visas a look that promised her nothing nice if she didn't, and for once Visas let him get through with this.

"Yes, I think this would be in order now. Are you ready for continuing?" Adana turned towards him.

"If Visas doesn't complain about you, I'll show you some pretty neat tricks with the _Hawk_?" The girl seemed to consider his offer for a moment, then she finally nodded.

"Deal." He smirked.

"Very well. Have fun, you two." With that he made his way to the cockpit to relieve Mandalore of the task the soldier hated.

* * *

Translation of the lyrics from above (done by the author):

"_Tell me, what have you done.__  
Pour out your heart and believe.__  
Tell what has happened to you that it reached this far.__  
Tell me what were you thinking, so drunk with rage.__  
Confronting the battle, crashing down in one night. "_

_Tom Albrecht, "We are one"_

* * *

**A/N: **Phew, due to technical difficulties I had to take a lot of time for up-dating but it's done now :) Anyway, need to work now, so not a very long explanation today. Gonna reply to the reviews with that new neat feature :) 


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Forgive me

**Chapter Fifteen: Forgive me **

"_Sorry… is all that you can say.__  
Years gone by and still.__  
Words don't come easily.__  
Like sorry, like sorry.__  
Forgive me… Is all that you can say.__  
Years gone by and still.__  
Words don't come easily.__  
Like forgive me, forgive me."_

Tracy Chapman, "Baby can I hold you"

* * *

Yavin IV, Sith Temple Remains. Né's Cell

She was back in the dark, alone with her thoughts. It was maybe the worst torture she ever had to endure. What had she done? _What had she done_? After all these weeks, after everything she had withstood, the dark side had prevailed in the end. She had failed.

And she had taken down the others with her. She had been sharing Adana's dreams again and it was very clear. The girl was having nightmares about what she had felt when Né had succumbed to the dark side and had been hurting Atris. She had tried to reach Adana, to tell her that she was sorry, that she needed her and the others to forgive her but the girl had shut her out somehow.

Né couldn't even blame her for it as it was exactly what she would have told Adana to do if she was her teacher. But she had been so furious and scared. Furious at herself for not seeing through Atris' plan and her inability to keep the others safe. She had left them to protect them from herself and from whatever Atris had been plotting, but all she managed to do was helping Atris to lure them into her trap. She had been the bait and she had acted exactly like it.

And she was scared of what would happen if the others came to Yavin IV. They would think that they had to fight Atris, but she would lure them all to the dark side. It would be so easy. Atris had almost broken her and it was only a matter of the time the others would go down as well. Their defenses weren't nearly as good as they needed to be. All of them were still bonded to her and their powers weren't developed enough to block the bond at least a little.

First there was Visas who already had been in the grip of the dark side. Yes, she had withstood temptation at least two times and she was more powerful than any of them, but she was also absolutely loyal to Né. _And it will be the loyalty that will break her in the end. Such irony, really._, Né thought bitterly.

And then there were Mical, Mira and Bao-Dur. All of them were only newly awakened. She had only had time to teach them rudiment powers such as a little levitation here and a little persuasion there or how to wield a light saber. But they would need more than that to withstand Atris and her companions.

Adana was next. The girl was a natural, sure, she had managed to use her powers completely instinctively, but there was also so much impatience and anger in her. It would be so easy for Atris to break her. Once Adana knew that Atris had been the one responsible for her mother's death there would be no holding back. She would react exactly like her when Atris had been taunting her.

The last was Atton. Atton who had already once been breaking Jedi for a living. Atton who would follow her about everywhere. Atton who would give his live for her. Atton… Atton who would be turned into Jaq again. If it was what Atris demanded of him to let Né stay alive, he would heed her order. It made her physically sick just thinking about how Atris would pervert his love for her for her own insane goals. And how she had only made it all possible. It was _her_ fault, all her damn fault. If she had followed the Code just for once, if she only hadn't given into passion and desire just for once he would have never been bounded to her like this. He would maybe even be indifferent to her.

_Forgive me, Atton. Forgive me, Adana. Forgive me, Visas. Forgive me, Mira… Mical… Bao-Dur… even Mandalore. And of course forgive me, T3._ There was no way he'd still be the good old T3. Atris would have had his memory wiped and most probably destroyed completely. He had fulfilled his role and she didn't need him anymore. If she ever made it out of this prison, T3 would be gone, most probably forever because of her. All because of her.

If she'd still have any tears left, she'd been crying like crazy by now. But as it was, her eyes stayed dry and in her head there was only one desire: _Forgive me._

_

* * *

Hyper Space, en route to Yavin IV, _Ebon Hawk_, Cargo Hold_ Ebon Hawk 

"You did good today, Adana." The girl's bright orange aura flared up a little at Visas' praise.

"I… thank you." Embarrassment was clearly audible in Adana's voice.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You deserved the encouragement. Now you can go and visit Atton in the cockpit if you like." Watching the girl dash out of the cargo hold, Visas allowed herself a smile. At first she had had her reservations about the child. To her, Adana had appeared much too brash and emotionally unstable to make a good _padawan_ but she had proven to be a patient and eager learner if you just knew how to handle her.

Still smiling, Visas took on clearing the cargo hold of the items they had used to train Adana's focus at levitation. But she wasn't alone for long. Only after a couple of minutes Bao-Dur was standing in the cargo hold's doorway, calm as ever. Or well, _almost_ as calm as ever. "I brought you something."

Abandoning the cargo cylinders she had been moving, Visas walked up to Bao-Dur to see what it was. "Please show it to me."

The Iridonian opened the box he had been carrying with him. In it was a small globe with what looked like lenses on it. Bao-Dur pushed a button on top of it and the globe hovered out of the box. Not without pride in his voice he said: "The remote you requested."

Visas gazed at the hovering globe and took a long, examining look. Then she walked into the middle of the cargo hold and motioned Bao-Dur to come with her. Hesitating a little, the Iridonian followed her. "Put away the box. Then take out your light saber."

His gaze at her was confused. "Visas?"

She knew it would come. Actually he knew what she wanted from him, but thought himself not good enough to fulfill her request. "Just do as you were told. You will not be harmed, I promise."

Her voice was like velvet but underneath it lay steel. He chose to obey her, even if he rather wouldn't. Having set down the box and put out the light saber he looked at her expectantly. "What now?"

"Close your eyes. Find your focus. Ignite your light saber.", she commanded. He did as told and when she was satisfied, a wink of her hand switched on the hovering remote. The first low energy laser beam was fired to Bao-Dur and he moved to parry it. Missing it only by microts, it hit him right in the arm. He hissed, but other than that there was no indication that the shot troubled him. Visas allowed herself a smile that could almost be called smug.

"Concentrate on your Force sight.", was the only thing she said and when the next beam came flying towards the Iridonian, his light saber moved fast and accurate enough to block the shot. With every shot he parried, Visas decreased the time between each shot.

Bao-Dur was surprisingly fast and had incredible reflexes. It was a pleasure watching the flurry that his aura now was, move. Neeneá had been right. He _was_ underestimating himself. Suddenly Visas found herself wishing she had the time and energy to give the Iridonian the special training he deserved. _Maybe… maybe when this is all over, I could ask Neeneá to make Bao-Dur my_ padawan., she thought, but dismissed the thought quickly. Now was just not the time to daydream.

When Bao-Dur was showing signs of being hit more than being able to parry, she switched off the remote and told him to reopen his eyes. He was panting heavily. Nodding at him, she said: "Excellent."

He wiped of the sweat on his forehead. "The remote… or me?"

She smiled. "Both." It earned her a grin and a simple "Thank you."

* * *

_Cockpit _

"So, did you two talk?" Mira avoided looking Atton who was sitting in the pilot's chair as usual. That was a sure sign something wasn't quite right, that much he knew.

"Yeah, we did." Okay, something was _definitely_ wrong. Mira and monosyllabic? Didn't mix. Just didn't mix.

"_And_?"

"And what?" Did he really have to pull every single word out of her?

"Well… you _know_ what. Everything gonna be okay? Or do I need to unpack the more… convincing arguments for him?" She snorted.

"No, thanks. 'Sides… I'm the problem, not him.", Mira shrugged, but the non-chalant tone of her voice couldn't just quite cover up the underlying insecurity.

"Nonsense. If he doesn't want you, he's a schutta that needs someone to open his eyes." Atton tried to let it sound half-ironically but he knew he didn't quite manage.

"No, really, Atton, it's me. I really think… there's something in him. Something, that could become more. And that something's in my, too, but I just… I've got the feeling…"

Before she could end the sentence, suddenly a voice from the doorway called: "I'm done, get out of my seat, you red schutta!" He couldn't quite hide a smile at Adana's demanding attitude, but Mira turned around in her seat and glared at the girl.

"I'll show you who's the schutta here, Refugee Sector gizka!" Instead of saying anything, the girl used her standard answer when she didn't know something better: she stuck out her tongue.

And then, something came to her after all: "Ha, you'd never do anything against me as long as Atton's here."

Before Atton could do anything to intervene, Mira leaped at Adana, growling "Yeah, well, watch me." Because Mira had used her Force speed, Adana couldn't do anything to escape Mira's assault. Suddenly the older woman was over her, mercilessly tickling her. Bright and girlish laughter filled the cockpit. Being to busy with keeping himself back from laughing, Atton could only watch the girls battle on the ground. In the end Adana instinctively used a Force push in the right moment and she was free again.

Glaring at Mira again, she said: "I'll get you back for that, Red.", and turned to run to the 'fresher to fix her completely messed-up hair.

Smirking, Mira only answered: "Sure thing, gizka."

"Thank you.", Atton's quiet voice sounded from behind her.

She almost jumped, but could keep herself enough under control to slowly turn around instead. "Huh? For what?"

He smiled a little lop-sidedly. "For making her laugh again."

She shrugged. Trying to sound non-chalantly, she said: "Yeah, well, turned out she reminds me of another Refugee Sector gizka I once knew." He chose not to deepen the questioning why Mira obviously started liking Adana after all because her answer was one of those telling him she didn't want to further talk about it.

So he picked another topic instead. "Uh, about you and pretty boy…" But before he could finish the sentence or she could interrupt him, suddenly the alarm claxons sounded and the orange globe of Yavin was starting to fill the view port. He racked his hair, saying: "Well, I guess that means playtime's finally over."

* * *

**A/N: **Uh, well, that was a short one. But I'm already working on the next one which is gonna be a kind of prelude to the show down. Just have a little more patience, dear readers ;) 


	16. Chapter Sixteen: No one to save

**Chapter Sixteen: No one to save**

"_Don't you understand what I'm trying to say  
__Can't you feel the fears I'm feeling today.  
__If the button is pushed there's no running away  
__there'll be no one to save with the world in a grave." _

_Barry McGuire, "Eve of Destruction"_

_

* * *

Yavin IV, Landing Pad_

The _Hawk_ hadn't even fully set down on Yavin IV and he already knew something was wrong. _Horribly_ wrong. He couldn't really pinpoint it, but he felt a strange pressure in the back of his mind. It was even almost overshadowing the humming that was Né.

When the ship had set down, he gathered the crew in the main hold. "Okay, uh, people, I guess it's time for a pep speech, huh?"

"Not if I had to say anything about it.", he heard Mandalore mutter but chose to ignore it.

"Well, uh, I think it's best if Mira and Mandalore come with me. Bao-Dur, Mical and Visas will be the other group. We'll enter the temple together and part ways on the first fork. Visas, it's your group's job to make sure you end this job if my group fails." He wondered if anyone apart from Visas noticed the slight wavering of his voice at the last sentence. If it was the case, they all seemed to think it wiser to keep silent about it. "Which we won't. Anyway, Adana, you're gonna stay on the ship…"

"No." The girl raised her chin defiantly. _Great._

"Yes. No debating about this. You stay here until we get back, period." Atton folded his arms before his chest.

"No. You need me in the Temple. You need me to bring her back." Now she also folded her arms in front of her chest.

"No, we don't. 'Sides she'd kill me if I brought you with me. You stay here, end of story. Guard the ship, Adana, _that's_ what we need you for." He still wasn't very good with talking to children and he just hoped that he had hit home with his appeal at her sense of duty.

"No, you don't. You need me to get her back. _End of story._" How he hated it if women turned his arguments around to use them as their own.

"Adana, please be sensible. There is mortal danger in this temple and we do not want to risk the death of innocents. We are fully capable of locating her on our own. Just for once do as you are told." Visas was talking as quietly as ever, but there was an edge to her voice you just couldn't ignore.

"But I…"

"Please, gizka. Don't question this. Do us and yourself a favor and stay here.", Mira chimed in, her voice a lot quieter than usual. Maybe that was what finally gave the impulse to Adana. Her face fell and her stance faltered.

"I'll… stay here. But don't come back without her." Atton gave her a half smile.

"Never had anything else in mind."

_

* * *

Temple Hall _

They were here. She could feel them, everyone. Visas calming presence, Mira's fierce aura, Bao-Dur's steady loyalty, Mical's light, Mandalore's bloodlust, Adana's annoyance at being left behind… and Atton's single determination to get her, no matter what. And she was sitting here, playing the bait for Atris. Atris who was standing at the door, patiently awaiting her prey. Atris and the Sith ghosts. If she had any strength left to do anything more than breathing, she'd have thrown up right on the floor before her.

If she could just tell them that all of this was one big trap and that they were walking directly into it… "Every attempt at warning your friends – and thus spoiling my fun – will get you a punishment. And by now you should know my kind of punishments well enough." Instead of answering, Né just made a face.

She needed every ounce that was left to her to keep on staying calm. The alluring voices of the dark side were whispering to her louder than ever before now. She felt like standing on an abyss, only inches away from the edge. One small step would lead to an endless fall into the dark… "You can't escape it, Neeneá Tekal. Once you touch the dark side, you are forever tainted. So why not fully embrace it? What would be easier than that?" She was again taunting her, adding her own voice to the voices belonging to the temple itself.

"The easiest way is not always the best."

"You are still clinging to those hollow principles the Council taught you…"

"A Council _you_ were once part of, Atris." Dammit. She had promised herself she wouldn't let Atris lure her into a conversation again. Already she felt the anger and hate welling up inside of her again. Not caring about being watched anymore, she took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself. She needed to keep a cool head. And find a way to warn the others.

_

* * *

Temple Interior _

They had been walking through countless tunnels and everything was quiet up to now. The feeling that they were walking right into a trap grew more and more intense with every step they took.

"I don't like it.", he heard Mira voice exactly what he had been thinking.

"Yeah, me neither. Stay sharp. Someone's trying to play a game…" Abruptly he shut up. There had been a sound, not far a way further down the tunnel, just around the next corner. He signaled Mira and Mandalore to stay quiet and back against the wall. Then he told Mira to switch on her stealth field generator and round the corner and come back to report what she had seen. For a moment, the air around Mira shimmered, then she disappeared.

Closing his eyes and putting his forehead against his raised blaster, he tried to find his center and calm himself. He hadn't told the others, but as they had continued their way down into the tunnels, he had felt the dark energy growing stronger and stronger around him. Adding to that the fact that the feeling that something was wrong was growing more intense also and that he now seemed close enough to feel the constant string of pain that seemed to hurt Né, he was really not in his best condition to wage a battle against four Sith Lords.

Before him, a stealth field flickered and Mira became visible again. She kept her voice very low, when she said: "Three Sith guards, two Artillerists, one Handmaiden. And no way of getting by them without being noticed."

He nodded towards Mandalore. "How's our status with explosives?" The Mandalorian went through his inventory.

"Three thermal detonators, five frag grenades, five poison grenades and three adhesive grenades. And some mines." Atton nodded.

"Alright. We're gonna use two of the frag grenades. Mira's gonna sneak back again. When you're at the entry of the tunnel, arm the grenades and roll them as quietly as possible into the crowd. Get away as fast as possible and wait for the bang. Then we're gonna take out everything that's still moving. Understood?" Mira and Mandalore nodded. The Mandalorian handed Mira two grenades and she disappeared again.

Again they waited. Then two loud explosions told them that Mira had been successful with her mission. His soldier instincts kicking in, he charged around the corner. His blaster pointed towards a heap of severely wounded or dead Sith and the Handmaiden. Behind him he could hear a light saber hiss. In a corner of his mind he wondered when exactly Mira had started to use it as her primary weapon, but he didn't give it much thought.

He was in full battle mode now, carefully eliminating the targets that were still moving and that Mandalore couldn't reach from his position. In the end, only the Handmaiden was left. She had defended herself against their laser blasts with her light saber. When her last guard was down, she obviously saw no other way than attacking them directly. She came charging toward him, aiming a swing at Atton, but suddenly her light saber was blocked by Mira's blade.

"What are you waiting for, Rand? Draw your damn 'saber.", she shouted at him and he was acting almost instantly. His blade sprang to life, crashing down on the Handmaiden. She lifted her hand and instinctively he knew that was a bad sign. Whirling his light saber, he managed to cut off the hand. For a moment the Handmaiden looked at the stump, disbelieving. Which was a big mistake since a well timed laser beam from Mandalore penetrated her chest only microseconds later. She fell to the ground.

Switching off his light saber, Atton turned to nod at Mandalore. "Good shooting, old man."

The soldier just shrugged, saying: "Yeah, well, I aim to please."

Ebon Hawk_, Smuggling Compartment_

Adana was sulking. She had been left behind _again_ and she really felt insulted. What did they think she was? A silly child that would get herself killed at the next best occasion? Well, she grew up on Nar Shaddah, she _knew_ how to stay out of trouble.

_Yeah, that's exactly why Visquis could kidnap you._, a treacherous little voice said in the back of her mind, but she chose to ignore it. Folding her arms, she leant against the wall of the little smuggling compartment. If they didn't want her help, fine. Then they wouldn't get it if they needed it, either.

_Trap!_

She blinked. Huh? She could have sworn she had heard Né's voice. But that was impossible. Visas had taught her how to block the bond and she had been very good at it, hadn't she?

_Trap! Flee!_

Again. It couldn't be. She was blocking her. She was even making herself invisible in the Force again. Né couldn't have been able to reach her.

_TRAP!_

"Let me be in peace!", Adana shouted at the walls and pressed her hands to her ears in a futile attempt to block out the voice. It had been very clear that it was Né's voice indeed, there was no denying. And she was obviously telling her that this was a trap. Could she be deceiving her? Adana hadn't forgotten how much darkness had found its way through the bond at Né's last outbreak. And weren't dark Jedi supposed to be deceiving bastards? Weren't they always betraying their friends and everything?

_FLEE!_

But then, why would she tell her to flee, if she wanted to harm her? Wouldn't she rather be telling her that everything was okay and that there was no threat at all? _Wouldn't she?_

But if this really was a trap… the others needed to be warned. How in the Force could she do that? Atton had told her unmistakably that he absolutely didn't want her to leave the ship. Somehow Adana had no doubts that he wouldn't tolerate it if she left the ship. He hadn't said anything to threaten her but that was only because he hadn't needed to. She wanted so much to gain his approval that she'd do anything for him, even if she had put up a fight when it had been about her staying on the ship. But in the end she had known even before she started that she would stay.

And now Né had somehow managed to get through her barriers and had told her that everything was a trap. She closed her eyes and hugged her knees. What was she to do? _What_? On one side there was the man that had grown to be a kind of big brother to her, the man she looked up to and didn't want to disappoint. On the other side was the woman who had rescued her, who had shared her dreams, who knew her inside out. And who had just told her that they needed to get away from here.

Wasn't rescuing her surrogate family more important than pleasing Atton alone? Wouldn't he do the same if he was in her position? Wouldn't he _expect_ her to do something about this? Even if she was only eleven years old, she knew she had to make a decision. A decision that could save or destroy more than only her own life. A decision that could also _cost_ her life. She closed her eyes and some of her mother's words came to her: _Sometimes, Adana, you need to sacrifice one thing to save another. Remember that, Adana, always remember that._

Taking a last deep breath, Adana made the toughest decision she ever had to make in her yet short life.

_

* * *

Temple Interior _

Atton had been right. Something was very wrong with this place. Visas could very strongly feel the dark energy this place was throwing at them, but it was not only this. It was the fact that on their whole way since entering the Temple they had not encountered _any_ hostile forces yet. The whole place screamed "Trap!" at her, but she knew she had to keep on.

"Visas?"

She turned around, facing Bao-Dur. "Yes?"

He looked at her, uneasiness being displayed on his usually stoical face. "This place… something's wrong with it."

She nodded her head. "I agree with you. We need to be careful."

They neared a corner. Visas could feel a slight disturbance in the Force and held up her hand. The men behind her stopped and she gestured for them to take out their light sabers, but keep quiet. Inching forward step by step, she felt their anxiousness grow. Especially Mical grew more nervous with every step.

Taking a last deep breath, Visas rounded the corner first, expecting a whole attack group of Sith. But she saw… nothing. She furrowed her brow. Nothing to see, yet the disturbance was still there. Why…

All around them, stealth fields began to flicker. If she had been prone to swearing, her words would sure have made Atton or Mira blush. But as it was, only her light saber flared up and found its way through more than one assassin's body. As always, she focused on the battle, the presences of her companions pushed back to the edges of her perception. But suddenly – she was about to finish her last assailant – she felt a sharp pain shoot through her. At first she had thought it was Neeneá again, but when she turned around after giving her opponent one last slice, she saw Bao-Dur lying on the ground.

Upon coming nearer, she saw that the Iridonian was half sitting, half lying on the ground, breathing hard, his almost blue blood seeping through his fingers from a wound at his side. Driven by a strange impulse, she rushed to him, crouching down. Touching his shoulder lightly, she said: "Hold still, Bao-Dur. Let me take care of this."

To her surprise, he shook his head. "No. Too… too much for you. Need… too much… energy. Will only… slow you down. Leave…me… here." The blood kept flowing and for the first time maybe ever in her life Visas felt something like nervousness growing inside her. She knew that theoretically he was right. Even if they _did_ manage to dress the wound and heal him with the Force, all of them would be drained out. He would slow the whole group down, either because he couldn't move fast with a fresh wound or because they had used precious energy to heal him. But still the need to _do_ something became greater. It was startling her, for a moment even paralyzing.

Then Mical suddenly came from behind, with a med pack in his hand. Ignoring Bao-Dur's protests he did what he knew best: healing. First he gave the Iridonian a shot of something stimulating, then he started to dress the wound. Coming out of her short reverie, Visas placed her hand on his shoulder. She focused on her inner strength and drew energy from it, letting it flow through Bao-Dur. She could feel how burst blood vessels closed again, how his body fought possible infection, how torn flesh and skin closed. Then it was done.

She opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath. That was the utmost outer sign of exhaustion she allowed herself to show. "You shouldn't have done this, Visas. Nor should have you, Mical." If she had been Atton, she might have scolded him that obviously her effort wasn't even worth a "Thank you.", but being Visas she just shook her head and said: "It was nothing. Now come and let us pursue our quest again." And indeed she didn't mind the fatigue that using a Force heal always brought over her, especially such a taxing one. She was just satisfied that Bao-Dur would survive the wound.

_Because he is a valuable member of your party or because he is_ Bao-Dur, a little voice whispered in the back of her mind. For a moment she thought of answering it, but then she chose to ignore it. There was a danger that this wasn't her own mind speaking but some dark influence trying to distract her attention from the task at hand and she didn't want to give into it. But still… if the Zabrak hadn't made it… wouldn't there have been a void in her heart, missing the calm and gentle ways of the Zabrak? She shook her head almost invisible. _If_ there was one it wouldn't be any different from the void Neeneá's death would leave behind. Or would it? _Enough of this!_, her mind rose up to speak and with finding her focus again she managed to silence such disturbing thoughts, at least for the time being.

"Are you ready?" Mical and Bao-Dur both nodded. She tightened the grip around her light saber. "Very well. Let us continue."

_

* * *

Temple Hall _

"Ah, how I love it when a plan works exactly as it should." Atris was gloating. There really wasn't any other word to describe the glee that seeped through her voice with every word. But as it was, Né was way beyond caring. The first two tries at contacting Adana had been undetected, but the third didn't pass by Atris' attention. And as promised, she had punished Né. Looking back, it was almost a kind of wonder that she was still breathing.

She knew she could have fought against it, just by opening herself to the dark energies around her. If she did, if she started feeding on them, feeding on Atris' energy, on the energy of the Sith ghosts, there would be no one able to defeat her. And no one to save her. In the end it was only the thought of what falling would do to her crew – most importantly Atton and Adana – that kept her to stay away from the dark.

"Oh, I can feel them. They are coming nearer. And they are already vulnerable. It will be almost too easy to make them fall. Quiet a pity." _Well, now it's official: Atris has lost the last bits of her sanity._, Né thought a little sardonically, but was clever – and weak – enough not to make any loud comment on it.

"I would have loved to break them slowly, one by one. It would have been delighting to see it. Especially that assassin of your's… or the child… or Visas…"

"Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the hell up?" It was out before Né had thought about the consequences. Expecting another wave of pain, she shut her eyes and braced herself, but the pain never came.

Instead, Atris said: "I would give you another dose of lightning if there wasn't something a lot more rewarding. Our first guest has joined the party."

Her pain-fogged mind needed a microt or two to process what Atris had just said, but then she found the strength to pull herself up. The first thing she saw was the smug satisfaction and a kind of anxious expectation on Atris' face. But the second thing almost terrified her even more: A surprised Adana that looked at the whole scene with a mix of confusion and diffuse terror on her face.

* * *

**A/N: **Oi, it's gettin' hot in here. Um, okay, you know what I mean. Anyway, I apologize for needing so much time to update, but that was mostly due to technical difficulties at ff. net. But seeing as I've gotten a mighty step nearer my internet access at home, I think updates are going to be a bit more frequent now. 


End file.
